I've tried to keep my Facebook for my real friends only, or at least people I like well enough I'd like to keep in contact with. But sometimes I just feel obligated to accept a request, like from a coworker I see regularly even if all we do is exchange small talk. One such person is my wife's sister-in-law's uncle. Which I thought was no big deal. He lives in a state far away and I literally met this old man one time, at a funeral, and never expect to see him again in my life. I have no interest in him or his family and don't really consider him any kind of family of mine. I mean...that's a pretty distant relation, of no blood, and we met ONCE. But it turns out accepting his request was a mistake, because he's now ALL UP IN MY SHIT.

After less than 24 hours of this new internet "friendship," he had the audacity to send me a private message demanding to know why my wife and I have two different marriage dates listed on FB. He ended it with the insult, "That's rather confusing."

I mean, think about it, bitch. We're gay. One of those dates is legal, the other...well, if you've had a pulse in the last ten years in the United States, FIGURE IT OUT.

I responded, stating the early 2000 date was before it was legal so we had a commitment ceremony to celebrate with our friends. Now I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd said something snarky and rude right back to him. It wasn't so much the question he asked me, as the way he phrased it (which indicated he had a RIGHT to know my business, and that I was stupid for not publicly explaining my business for the world to understand). It was the AUDACITY that he even asked a virtual stranger that type of personal question.

I'm just pissed and grossed out and want to unfriend and block him but I'm trying to tell myself A) he's old and unhealthy and I won't have to necessarily "worry about him" for too long; B) if I say or do something unfriendly, it's going to be seen as rude and insulting, even if I'm just defending myself; and C) I will never set eyes on this creep again in my life (probably) so I shouldn't really give a fuck what he thinks...right?

I guess I'm just looking for reassurance. And a place to vent. Bah.

@ephenay: I wish my in-laws would see it that way, but they're incredibly sensitive and would overreact. I'm hoping if I post enough "millenial" crap (like...video game stats) he'll get bored and unfollow. XD

First let me say I think it’s adorable that you have two dates for your marriage like that, that’s very cool.

I’ve grown to take absolutely no bs from anyone, so my answer is always, “if you dont like them on your Facebook, unfriend them.” From interacting with “normal people” I’ve come to understand this isn’t everyone’s ideal solution though. It is important to put your own comfort and safety first though. Even if you make it so he can’t see your Facebook posts, if knowing he’s there weirds you out, then it might be best to unfriend him and if someone brings it up, be real with them and let them know he was making you uncomfortable.

As was mentioned, you could have a second Facebook profile where you only add people you really like. This seems to be pretty common practice, especially for people who aren’t straight and whose straight family make them uncomfortable or pressure them in to not being themselves. I did that several years back and it has since become my only Facebook account, and I don’t add people I don’t actually want to have on there.

A more mellow option could be to just leave things as is for awhile and see what happens. Could be he’ll mellow out and there won’t be another incident like this. I know that kind of thing can kinda sting and follow you around for awhile, but it might not be a bad idea to let things cool down before making a decision.