I have thrown a slipper at my oldest cat twice today

vengeance

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I am tired of her bullying the younger cat away. She ended up hiding somewhere and didn't want to come out. When I checked on her the second time I saw the oldest cat in front of her hiding place and went off again.

How do I deal with this type of behaviour and get the oldest to stop? It's not like the oldest cat doesn't get any attention because she get's more then enough. I can pet the oldest cat without the younger one even caring. But when I pet the younger one the oldest one has to be there as well and if possible chase the younger one away.

tabby

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you're making it worse by throwing slippers at her. that type of punishment never works on cats. even if she stops doing it while you're around, she will still do it when you're not there. same with spraying water, loud noises, etc. works for dogs but not cats.

instead, when you see her doing the bullying behavior to the younger cat, go pick her up, go somewhere else, and give her love. teach her she can still love and cuddle you when the younger cat is around.

training animals is hard and frustrating and takes a long time, especially cats since they have no drive to please you. there will be times you REALLY don't want to go pick her up.

when she starts coming up to you for more attention (this means she's getting it) you have to give it to her. every time. don't push her away. even just a minute of snuggles and "what a good kitty!" will help cement in her mind that she will get attention by coming up and asking for it, NOT by bullying the younger cat

the main thing is being absolutely 100% consistent with this. cats need positive attention to learn, whether we are in the middle of something or not

vengeance

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Thank you for the advice. Unfortunaly oldest cat does not want to be picked up at all. If you do that she tries to squrm out of your arm and run away. I sometimes try to destract her when I am seeing she is about to go after the other cat. And she will then come up and I give her some attention. But then as soon as I don't look for a couple of seconds she is off again.

It wasn't like this in the beginning at all. They tolorated each other.

We also have a dog and if he is around when it's happening he will go after both cats. It's like "Hey let me solve this problem".

But I will try and take her apart next time somehow.

Count Trashula

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Kegs is right, you should never ever be throwing things at your cat. Even if it's not something dangerous, that's not going to do anything but stress out your older cat even more and make her relationship more negative with both the younger cat and with you. Breaking up the bullying behavior in the moment might be good, but please don't do it that way.

Adding to the above post, how long have you had the younger cat? How were they introduced? It can take a very long time for a resident cat to warm up to a new housemate, especially another cat. In either case, what you need to work on doing is building positive associations between the two. Feed them near each other (depending on how bad the bullying is, you might want to keep them separate but where they can still smell each other for a while), reward your older cat when she's not bothering the younger one. Take very small steps and consider any non-aggressive interaction a foot forward.
Also make sure there are enough litter boxes, hiding places, and high vantage points for both cats. I don't know how many of these things you have, but if the answer to any of them is "one", that's something to strongly consider changing as soon as possible. Where they are may also make a difference.

If this wasn't a problem for a long time and now you see your older cat targeting the younger one unprovoked (actually seeking the other cat out, not just reacting when it gets too close to her), try to pinpoint any changes in/around the house, your routine, etc that might be affecting her mood and behavior. Are there any other issues or signs?

ALWAYS PING ME

vengeance

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We have had the younger cat for 6 months now. We always introduce our cats right away. They are fed near each other but not on the same level. Our young cat is obsessed with the wet food they get. So our youngest has her bowl on the floor while the other one get's the food on a table. That way we can remove the bowl of the oldest cat when she is done with her food right away.

They have enough hiding places. Only my parents bedroom and my bedroom are off limits during the day. This is because we always have our bedroom window open.

As far as changes goes our oldest cat doesn't go outside that much anymore. Instead she is rather inside sleeping.

tabby

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if the cat doesn't respond well to your affection then it is probably time to change the environment to minimize the amount of trapping that can occur

the vantage points The Count mentioned are super important. very tall cat trees and cat-friendly shelving help them put distance between each other while also being easy to escape from. confident cats naturally want to be up high anyway, so they can keep a watchful eye over everything happening in their home.

also avoid hooded litter boxes as that's a typical bullying spot, and can make the cat being bullied scared of using it.

hello again

Priestess of Pie

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Also, a word of advice for next time, don't introduce your cats right away. Having them separated and getting used to each other's smells first can help the process.

Ultimately there will always be one cat that will try to be the top dog so to speak and conflicts will arise. It's ok to break up fights, but do so carefully. Maybe isolate them for a little bit for them to calm down. You can also try to play with them both at the same time, and give them treats near each other. Things to associate good vibes with being together.

Eventually they'll work it out and at least learn to tolerate each other. Just be patient with them.

Mallow

Tumbleweed
My Sons

vengeance

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Thank you all for the advice.

Urgggh the oldest cat seems to obsessed with the youngest one. I keep on trying to destract the old one. By playing with it and cuddling it. But in the end she will still go after the youngest one. Even when I am in the middle of playing or cuddling with the old one.

Today seems to be a really bad day.

athabm

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You can also try getting a pheromone diffuser for cats. It generally helps relax cats that are stressed out and acting out, and can ease the tensions between cats.

If you have time, look at Jackson Galaxy's tips for cats, since he deals with a lot of cats that are on bad terms with their owners or other pets. usually it comes down to the environment doesn't make them feel safe and secure, which is something you have control over and can change.