Trying... - Voltra Online

blinkini

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I doubt many people noticed, since I was only "back" for a couple of weeks...
But early this year experienced a loss in the family for the first time, at the age of 28 and it hit me hard.
I'm still having so many days where I get panicked and can't quite comprehend how everyone else has seemed to cope with knowing death and going on with their lives as if nothing is tearing them apart inside.
It very obviously caused me to fall away from most everything in my life, including this site.
I've been trying to get back on here a little bit every week, but it just feels so difficult to enjoy everything that I did before, to the same capacity.

Bonnie

Friend PM Trade

I’m sorry for your loss. It’s okay to take time to assess how you are feeling and even though it’s hard to do the things you used to, it’s going to get better with the amount of effort you’re putting in.

Everyone grieves differently and it’s important to not rush through it.

blinkini

Friend PM Trade

@Bonnie: Honestly, I think that part is hitting me, too.
I work in a call center, dealing with reservations at hotels.
Since my grandma passed I've noticed how much people call in to cancel stays because their parent passed and it's always so baffling how little emotion they show, even after a few days or a week.
It's almost been two months and I'm holding back tears just typing this out.
It's just so weird to think about, for me.

@koneko: I hope you go many more years without experiencing it.
I always knew that it would be horrible, but I was never really that close with my grandma that passed.
I have a lot of memories from when I was a little kid, but she and my mother didn't get along and caused me to not know her as well as I wish I did, now.
So I never thought I would be this upset about it...
But just knowing that I can never see her or hear her or ask her to clarify one of her crazy stories is so gut wrenching.

Bonnie

Friend PM Trade

@blinkini: yeah I’d be feeling the same. My grandmother is terminally ill. She’s fine but she isn’t able to do much and it hurts to see her cause it’s like we are all waiting until she passes and it’s going to be hard.

bloop

Miss Sandman

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@blinkini: oh it will take Time dear and you shouldnt Force yourself too much!

~Pls Ping me~
Nothing fancy to see here!!!

Mellonin

Friend PM Trade

Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it’s a plan!

@blinkini: First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother in my mid to late 20s, so I have some idea what you are going through.

And what I found is this; there is no "getting back" to where you were, nor is there any perfect way to put your life back together. You are going to be different, things are going to change.

AND THAT IS OKAY!

You don't have to be okay. You don't have to react to loss just like everybody else in your family, BECAUSE EVERYBODY GRIEVES DIFFERENTLY. Some can go through their day to day lives just fine, and then break down when they are alone. Some are the opposite; okay when they are alone, falling apart when they are face with other people. And there are so many other combinations, it would take me pages and pages to list even a handful of them.

The point is, welcome back while you are here, but don't push yourself beyond what you can handle at this moment. Take time when you need it, and never let anybody make you feel like you should be 'over it' or ready to get back to life - they aren't you, and only you know when you're ready to pick up another piece of your life, another hobby, another responsibility.

Sending you lots of love!

We’re all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?

Mellonin's Ramblings

Captain Crackers

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@blinkini: Im sorry for your loss sweetheart. I experienced loss at too early an age of 13 and 14. I kknow how hard it is to try and get back into the swing of things. Itll never quite be the same but youll get to where it doesnt hurt so much. It's okay to be a little broken from this. I battled for a very long time to get to where i was okay, and that took me till i was 23, and had the help of my now husband. its okay to be sad. its okay to not enjoy things like you used to. Time does not heal wounds, but simply makes YOU better at dealing with them. You will get to some semblance of what you consider "normal" in due time. Dont think you have to be like others. we all love you here and we want you to be okay rather than active.

Lots of love,
Pretender

I wear many faces

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Forums General Chit-Chat Trying...

blinkini

Bonnie

blinkini

Bonnie

Miss Sandman

Mellonin

Captain Crackers

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