How do you cope with your fears/phobias?

kaichoukai

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So I am just curious how people go about day to day with their fears, especially ones that cannot be avoided.

I am afraid of the dark, big time. I had a dnd session tonight at a co-workers house and I wouldn't walk out to my car that was right in front of the house until someone else was going out too. This fear has been my biggest my whole life and sometimes I get made fun of for it. I also get called hypocritical sometimes because I am a huge true crime lover but it only makes my paranoia and fear of the dark worse (not all the time, but sometimes when I am outside and thinking about it too hard).

The way I cope is by always having a little bit of light on or playing my white noise generator app. Having an animal with me or just not being alone in general. I can do walks at night if I have someone there with me or one of my dogs and I HAVE to be playing music or I just stare around everywhere...

Sorry if this topic seems random I was just thinking lol.

What do you guys do to help with your fears/phobias? Maybe something you do can help another person struggling~ Also no fear or phobia is weird or strange! You are valid~ (I have a fear of touching weeds while swimming in a lake or even seeing them... nothing is too obscure... trust me lol).

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Count Trashula

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Gradual but consistent exposure is pretty much the only way. Sometimes if I'm really freaked out about something I just find the nearest person I can and talk it out. In some cases, making positive associations or just minimizing it in my mind also helps.

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Tsundererra

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Oof, I have A LOT of phobias, and I get made fun because some of them are ridiculous to my friends (ex: I’m scared of being near microwaves when they’re on).
My therapist would say to face my anxieties head on... but I’m a coward so I usually try to avoid them... but in the case where it can’t be avoided, I proceed with caution or find a way to make sure I’m safe. Like with microwaves, I run out of the room as soon as I hit the on button. With thunderstorms, I stay in the car until the storm has passed. If the storm is going to be an all day thing, I will wait until a lightning strikes, then dash to my door. ToT
I’m also scared of the dark (both in my house and outdoors). Indoors, I have nightlights everywhere and leave my Netflix playing all night until I sleep. Outdoors, I hold my keys like I’m Wolverine and look all around me at all times.

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kaichoukai

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@Count Trashula: That is a really good way at looking at them! Honestly and getting through them~ Sort of an exposure therapy way. That is how my most recent therapist would explain and it is also something I suggest to my students. It is a slow process but it will get there over time~

@Tsundererra: You are doing it though! They are not weird at all! I used to be afraid of the toaster popping and also pokemon popping out of the pokeballs after I tried catching them... it shocked me and spiked my anxiety OIHDOFIH
I am glad you are aware of them though~ It is sometimes hard to get through life with them but you are doing well!

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Tsundererra

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@kaichoukai: Oh man, I was scared of the toaster popping too. Though my anxiety saved me since it did catch fire one time, and I was able to unplug it and put it out. x__x
I think you’re doing it too, which is good for both of us. Even though it’s still scary and unpleasant, at least we have ways to cope.

Btw, I watch True Crimes too, and I don’t think it makes you a hypocrite for liking it but being scared of going outside. Shows like that help me to be more cautious so I don’t end up like those victims, and maybe you’re the same way.

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Shark

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oof idk.... just kinda hope they go away at some point lmao

i mean it does work for some i guess? xD

i used to be scared of gross slimy worm-like bugs to the point where I would cry if I saw any. lol. now it's just whatever.

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crow

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i guess you could say i use immersion therapy but it's more like checking off a list of things that should scare me but turn out not to
like going bungee jumping to see if i'm scared of falling, going on a boat out to the middle of the ocean to see if i'm scared of it, climbing up a building to see if i'm scared of heights, etc

Priestess of Pie

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I have a pretty intense fear of dead things, which sounds fine until you're trying to remove a dead bug from the bathroom and burst into tears.

Also funerals are hell. If I can, I will absolutely avoid the situation. When I can't, I just try to stay as far away from the deceased as possible.

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Jolly

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I was just watching a vsauce video on youtube about fears and it was pretty interesting. I recommend.

anyway, my biggest fear is driving/being in a car. Its such a high necessity so I HAVE to push myself past it, but it has still taken me nearly 10 years to work on. I didn't see myself driving until last year, but even now I can barely handle it. if the slightest thing jumps me, or if something obscures my vision even a little (ie window fog) I can go into a full hyperventilating panic attack and its not safe at all lol I once blacked out cause of a rain storm panicking me and got hit back in 2013 or 14. That has improved in me a little, thanks to some help I've received.

Also driving at night, while usually doesn't bother me when its late enough that there's barely anyone out, but if there are enough vehicles I cannot drive. Everyone drives with their brights on here and it severely screws with my vision, so I cant see in front of me. Like I'm sorry, its a mostly lit city, you dont need those on xD But yeah, now that association makes me even more terrified in a car at night, I cant handle it even if I'm not driving/not blind

Jolly

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@Koneko:
Right, its so hard to deal with sometimes. I have a few BIG fears relating to driving. Several, really, I could make a list. And I could check off a few of them that I've already experienced. Which doubles my fear in that I know everything is possible to happen even if I'm careful.
So I also take extra care when I'm about to drive to really listen to my own intuition and even my mood. If I'm too off, I wont focus as well, or might be more likely to panic and pull over or become unsafe. Sometimes I get a nagging feeling I shouldn't drive, or sometimes my bf will feel it and stop me.

tabby

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cope? i face them head on until it's gone. i don't believe in minimizing a problem, i believe in getting rid of it completely. so that means figuring out the root of the issue and then tackling that instead of the foofy crap people spew about making peace with it and breathing in and out until you're not scared anymore. find a way to own the problem. make it your bitch.

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JudgeBunny

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i used to have the worst phobia's of spiders
lately i've gotten better about it. i keep this spider alive in the corner of my bathroom and it sorta makes me feel better now

its really weird lmfao

i think the best way to fight a phobia is to just overly expose yourself to that shit until it doesn't bother you anymore
Are you actually afraid of the dark? Or are you afraid of being alone in the dark and something bad happening to you?

Jolly

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@koneko:
Yeah that was me for a long time. It wasn't without trying, and in some cases financially I couldn't afford a vehicle/insurance. But mostly too scared to drive.
In my case, I just needed someone to play the role of a long-term instructor that has the patience and understanding to deal with me in practice.
Cant afford therapists or real instructors (also I tried one that my mom paid for and I had the worst experience). But my bf was super helpful, otherwise I wouldn't be driving now.

But yeah... you can't thrive in the US without driving. D:
I've missed out on a lot of things by not being able to fight the fear.

Jolly

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Parking lot practice never helped my anxiety at all. I wasn't scared of making a vehicle move and the lots helped in learning how to function that. But my fears come in when there are others on the road too. What are they going to do, how can I react timely and safely, and I have a hard time sensing how far something is from me also. Everything feels closer than it is, in my perspective.

So my practice had to be in neighborhoods where a car will occasionally pop up. I used to have full blown break-slamming panic when a car would turn the corner lol so it took a while, but eventually I got over little by little. I'm still not on highways yet, still baby walking my way there.

@koneko:
cities dont always make it easier. Depends on the specific layouts and everything. In the south I didnt feel a need for driving. Even if it didnt scare me to drive, I would've walked to work anyways cause it was more convenient. xD
but the cities where I live now are more difficult. more spread out

Jolly

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@totalanimefan:
Yeah Ill probably take about that long too. But I wont rush into it. I think what helps a lot sometimes is sitting as a passenger but imagining "Could I handle this?" while someone else is driving. For the longest time I'd be like NOPENOPENOPE cannot! But now I feel a little more at ease? most days. not all xD
super proud about it though

Jolly

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@totalanimefan:
Oh! Thats good! Do you know if theres a reason behind the needle phobia? Or has it always been?

Jolly

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@totalanimefan:
That seems to be what adults do, man. People stink haha
I'm glad you're finding yourself improving with it though <3 I think a really big thing (for me) is to not rush or put pressure on things like this.
I do wish I could afford therapy right now for my anxiety, but I've got to graduate first and get a better paying job ^^

Jolly

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@totalanimefan:
I see, I can only imagine! Well I wish the best of luck to you in getting through the fears.
Its a bit crazy, my driving phobia was so intense (still is sometimes) but I never thought I could ever overcome it, even a little bit. But I've achieved my impossible so it makes me feel like anyone can do it too--but I have to be careful with that perspective cause it can be taken insensitive too xD

Jolly

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@totalanimefan:
Still, there's progress to be proud of! And at least you're trying even if its terrifying to go through. <3

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Eruca

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Since you mentioned dnd, i thought you may appreciate this anecdote.

My friend's dnd character is really dumb and relies on scripture for thoughts/comments. One of her favorites is "the death of fear is in doing what you fear", which incidentally I think os pretty similar to 2nd post.

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Forums General Chit-Chat How do you cope with your fears/phobias?

kaichoukai

Count Trashula

Tsundererra

kaichoukai

Tsundererra

Shark

crow

Priestess of Pie

Jolly

Jolly

tabby

JudgeBunny

Jolly

Jolly

Jolly

Jolly

Jolly

Jolly

Jolly

Eruca

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