I dont know how to handle this situation, I'm having a hard time emphasizing with it, but I try my best to sympathize.
When I met my bf he seemed to be in this picture perfect family relationship with his dad and step mom. Things were simple. TOO simple. I knew there was disorder somewhere that I couldn't see, so I thought I had braced myself for when it finally showed itself.

Then my bf decided to move out of his dad's house and live with me. That's when everything exploded and even my bf saw for the first time that something wasn't right with his family. His dad lost his mind at us. He put me on this pedestal (figuratively) in front of that whole family to shame me, insult me, make me out to be a horrible untrustworthy slut, and just overall preaching against me like I'm the devil himself. Never have I felt more humiliated and angry than I did that day, and I can never forgive that man. But I still have to act decent around him out of respect for his children, because for their sake and cause I love them, I also want to stay in their lives.
This man also turned against his own son that day, told him he hates him and will pray that things will go wrong for him because of these choices. Like, I'm no priest or anything, but I'm pretty sure that isn't how praying works????

Anyway, it has been several months. We dealt with that back in september.
Every time he visits his dad without me, the man is always trying to manipulate my bf into coming back. Saying he "shouldn't be living with strangers" and that I only have bad intentions, ect ect. He's always trying to control my bf's every move, EVERY decision he makes.
Lately its health insurance. My bf isn't 26 yet so he was still on his dad's health insurance. Out of the blue, in the midst of this pandemic, his dad KICKS HIM OFF OF HIS HEALTH INSURANCE LIKE YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW BITCH!
I can empathize with the scary feeling the first time you realize you have no health insurance. So I get my bf to relax a bit like its okay, maybe his dad lost his benefits, maybe it wasn't malicious and he couldn't legally put my bf on any new insurance plans cause he isn't living with him. But we'll work things out with our job and see what we can do.

His dad
is prying
spamming his phone
trying to force him to buy insurance immediately, from a specific company just cause he said so
and this company is acting sketchy AS HELL and we cant afford it rn anyway
my bf almost got suckered into it cause of his dad's forceful attitude, before I noticed and halted his phone call right away like NONONONO
He put the call on hold, unsure whether to believe me. But when he picked up the call again, and explained our financial concerns, the agent is like "well do you have a friend who can give you money?"
This shaaaaaaatters my bf, cause he realized I was right, this isn't a good option. He broke down just knowing that his dad would murder him for not going through with it. We tried our job, but they cut our hours too much so we cant get health benefits through them either. Hourly retail, fun.
And now his college classes have also been cancelled until june at the earliest.

His dad and step mom wont leave him alone. But they have him so whipped and abused for so long, that he can't bring himself to tell them to leave him alone, or let him deal with it, or just to ignore them for more than a day. I feel like he has this heavy instinct that there's a really big consequence to standing up for himself. He doesn't want to lose the family that he still loves so much but they're tearing him apart emotionally on pretty much a monthly basis since we moved.

I'm the type of person to stand up and tell someone to shove off when they cross my lines.
But even the smallest situation, like not answering someone's question until a few days later and being like "my bad I was doing something and then forgot until now"
My family will be like "its fine I was just worried about this thing, did you get it sorted" or whatever. Like normal humans.
His family would probably break my door down over it lol There's a drastic difference and I have such a hard time giving my bf any sort of advice, cause I just have to be honest with him. What I'd do is not what he'd do, and that's okay, but that means all I can offer is support. And that my whole family would protect him too.

But, with his passive approach, will this ever stop?

@tsundererra:
Its incredibly hard for my bf who isn't used to having family issues. This is the first time he's seen this hateful side of his dad (and it not be about his biological mom, whom the man has firmly held a grudge against for for most of his life now).
He isn't used to this feeling of almost hating his father for being such a tit. But now he's recognizing the abuse towards his siblings as well, since he has had this chance to step away and see how another family acts, he can see the contrast. It kills me so much to see this all unfold. Its really heartbreaking.

Thanks so much for that advice! I think its been about a week already since he lost his insurance. But I'll see if he can try ACA when he gets off work later today.
I personally haven't had insurance in a long time already lol I'm older than him, so mine dropped when i was 26. My parents would tell me no matter where I lived, to keep my home address set to their's so they can keep me on it. I was grateful for it. But now I can't even get medicaid or anything xD always declines me.

Right now especially companies and programs are starting to cut deals for people that can no longer afford insurance due to the pandemic so it's worth applying for things again, or at least doing some research on what's available that wasn't 6 weeks ago.

It really sucks that you have to deal with this though. It's really sad and, not gonna lie, it's gonna be hard for your bf to learn something different when this is how he's lived his entire life. It's good that he has had the opportunity to see how other people live and I hope he continues to become more independent. I'd recommend counseling for him too, but I also know that's going to be difficult with the quarantine and no insurance. >.<

TSUN ★ TSUN ★ TSUN (≖︿≖✿)

(✿ ♡‿♡) DERE ★ DERE ★ DERE

There's something foul about the air here...

I completely understand his fears of losing his family over telling his parents to back off. However, taking a passive approach in an attempt to appease them will not help at all. Situations like this are very difficult, but I believe it's better to cut off his dad and stepmom. I'm sure he can talk to his extended family and talk about the problems he's dealing with to make sure he doesn't lose them.
Allowing the abuse and manipulation is not the right approach for this, his sanity is more important.
I'm not sure how to help with the health insurance issue since I've yet to have to sign up for my own, but hopefully my input will help

...ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ