@Kairu: I guess I want it to be my job?
but I definitely don't work hard enough at it
because I guess I don't think I'll actually be good enough

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@Kairu: omg dude like these questions make me so sweaty |D idk the answers to most. I'm just interested in creating things because I like to look at the things and experience the stories and I am quite touched by animation myself.

I feel like I /don't/ have a favorite part of drawing. it all feels like a chore and you have to endure it for the product. and I feel like this point just highlights how unsuitable I am for an art job

I do want to make a comic

favorite topics??? I guess nothing? I know for sure not history, nothing real I'm not knowledgable about worldly things.

what to improve? everything
honestly being able to draw well, so anatomy?
then color. I've always hated color. when I did take art lessons as a child, I refused to color things because I felt like it looked so bad with color lmao. so the teacher let me learn pen/ink

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@eleven: there are some contradicting things in your answers. you have a dream and yet, you want to give it up. same thing when youre struggling with something in art, you want to learn but its preventing you to make more art.

you cant have both feelings at once. surely there is something that you really want to do without thinking the reasons why its preventing you to continue?

i guess youre having a burn out when practising art while self learning it.

@eleven: technically you can have both of them but when we're talking about dreams and passion. wanting to have a dream dont mix with negative feelings. having both is like walking a path, you walk one step and then later you step back two steps. its a visual example of not wanting progress due to situation.

if it helps, i can tell you a bit of myself.

last year I had a 6 month hiatus in art progression (particularly my comic project) last year. It happen after I finished a volume of my first published comic in a certain book publishing site. I got myself art critique to my certain art mentor. she was particularly blunt but sincerely wanting me to improve in art. but what she told me that I was still doing the same mistake in art. I didnt blame her. but it took me hard. So i stopped doing comics for the rest of the year. on December, I made a decision to start drawing in any form or type (digital or traditional). I took traditional art because I have a major problem with coloring (shading/highlights). I have a collection of copics that helped me limit my choices. that same month, my mom booked flights overseas on feb-mar 2020. i was prepping from dec-feb on getting back to art.

not gonna lie, my december art was terrible.. so is january.. even during the trip. But the purpose of drawing anyway is to get back into habit. yes, i have the same mentality of my art is never gonna improve or its too hard. it persisted until a week after the trip. I took the opportunity to buy small sketchbook that will fit in my office bag whenever and wherever i need to draw, i draw. my sketching decisions (drawing basic contruction before drawing the actual anatomy) has improved due to limitations of erasure of the paper or you will get a hole from it. my traditional inking also improved. from very thick to learning light weight inking on a thin pen.

march 31, that is when i made a major decision of moving to digital. also.. not gonna lie, my lines and sketches are terrible. it took many tries and getting to know the programme until i manage to get into my traditional art style. Also, watching stream helps.. positivity of the people fighting to win while loving the pixels inspired me to draw while chatting with them. that lead me to draw the meme drawing that helped me understand muscles (without doing or feeling it as a chore).. this is in which lead me to this day, 19 Apr.

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tldr: it takes a small decision to gain back what you have lost from the last time you drew those beautiful art in your tumblr page. remember why you were doing it. remember the dream. the dream will help you forget the difficulty. art isnt a talent. art is a skill. it only works by working it slowly, getting all the moral support that you need until it becomes a habit of practise.. and there you will see improvement. OuO

@eleven: dont worry, habit takes a lot of time. you will eventually be able to fight the negative thoughts on your head that will eventually lead you to make your own comic ouo

be small step persistent okay >u<

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good mornign

I've just spent the last like two hours trying to use up all these maps for the run, Melos event because I'm tired of seeing them collect up

but I still have 35 ugh

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man I want the maps to clear out haha
I have just been using the words to buy souls

I think I got the bookmarks and then only souls
I never earned that many points haha

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the 21st?

yeah I tried that a few times and never got to the boss so I stopped haha

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oh meh i dont care enough to actually play it jdjfjjrjfj