TW: All sorts of hurtful stuff.
So... I'm really particular about a few things. Racism, sexism, classism, transphobia... I won't stand for it. I guess that makes me a downer, because I totally call out my friends when they post insensitive memes. "Its just a joke! You're being too sensitive!" Yeah, maybe, but I know a lot of people who face verbal and physical abuse because of these jokes. I can't just stand by and not let you know you're hurting people I care about.
I stopped a friendship that I've had for nearly 16 years because the person in question was transphobic and posting "funny memes" about fighting trans women if they followed his wife into a bathroom. He knew full well I quit a job because I got punished for enforcing a trans woman's state right to use her bathroom of choice. He does not know I identify as non-binary myself because thats out of his mental realm to grasp, but I digress...
I always try to educate in a calm manner before I go full yeet. Not only do I get argued back with, but they'll let their friends and family berate me for simply saying "hey don't be a jerk to other human beings". They'll laugh at me for trying to defend people I love. At that point, I feel like the friendship wasn't even ended by me. Thats not how you treat friends.
Most recently one of my friends ex's, who we are all still on good terms with, posted a meme of an Asian woman failing to eat a live octopus which she captioned "Covid-20". Without that specific caption, I might have let it slide but, me being me, I had to say that seemed pretty racist. She stopped just short of calling me the racist one because the woman "just so happened to be Asian" and it "wasn't about that, it was about the fact that she was eating live octopus." I explained that yes the fact that she was Asian was relevant in todays climate, and yes the fact that she's targeting another cultures eating habits just added to this fact (live octopus may be weird but it is absolutely a cultural delicacy). I explained that this mentality was leading to physical and verbal abuse of Asians, Asian Americans, and even people who just kind of look Asian (because racists really don't care to get their facts straight) and she just refused to even acknowledge that it could be problematic. She said I was making the problem up, I was making it racist when nobody intended it to be. Then she let her friends call me stupid. So... I'm out. I didn't make a big deal of it, but I can't even imagine wanting to be friends with someone like that anymore. This was no isolated incident. She's posted a lot of things to FB targeting homeless people, trans people (she even has trans acquaintances who I know are not ok with this) and SO many things flopping about on the topic of this pandemic.... I just can't.
Am I a jerk, Voltra? Am I making a situation where there was none? I want my friends to be aware of things outside of their privilege, but I don't want to be the bad friend who always spoils peoples fun. Where do you all draw the line between jokes and harmful rhetoric?
So... I'm really particular about a few things. Racism, sexism, classism, transphobia... I won't stand for it. I guess that makes me a downer, because I totally call out my friends when they post insensitive memes. "Its just a joke! You're being too sensitive!" Yeah, maybe, but I know a lot of people who face verbal and physical abuse because of these jokes. I can't just stand by and not let you know you're hurting people I care about.
I stopped a friendship that I've had for nearly 16 years because the person in question was transphobic and posting "funny memes" about fighting trans women if they followed his wife into a bathroom. He knew full well I quit a job because I got punished for enforcing a trans woman's state right to use her bathroom of choice. He does not know I identify as non-binary myself because thats out of his mental realm to grasp, but I digress...
I always try to educate in a calm manner before I go full yeet. Not only do I get argued back with, but they'll let their friends and family berate me for simply saying "hey don't be a jerk to other human beings". They'll laugh at me for trying to defend people I love. At that point, I feel like the friendship wasn't even ended by me. Thats not how you treat friends.
Most recently one of my friends ex's, who we are all still on good terms with, posted a meme of an Asian woman failing to eat a live octopus which she captioned "Covid-20". Without that specific caption, I might have let it slide but, me being me, I had to say that seemed pretty racist. She stopped just short of calling me the racist one because the woman "just so happened to be Asian" and it "wasn't about that, it was about the fact that she was eating live octopus." I explained that yes the fact that she was Asian was relevant in todays climate, and yes the fact that she's targeting another cultures eating habits just added to this fact (live octopus may be weird but it is absolutely a cultural delicacy). I explained that this mentality was leading to physical and verbal abuse of Asians, Asian Americans, and even people who just kind of look Asian (because racists really don't care to get their facts straight) and she just refused to even acknowledge that it could be problematic. She said I was making the problem up, I was making it racist when nobody intended it to be. Then she let her friends call me stupid. So... I'm out. I didn't make a big deal of it, but I can't even imagine wanting to be friends with someone like that anymore. This was no isolated incident. She's posted a lot of things to FB targeting homeless people, trans people (she even has trans acquaintances who I know are not ok with this) and SO many things flopping about on the topic of this pandemic.... I just can't.
Am I a jerk, Voltra? Am I making a situation where there was none? I want my friends to be aware of things outside of their privilege, but I don't want to be the bad friend who always spoils peoples fun. Where do you all draw the line between jokes and harmful rhetoric?
