Gifts, pain, and transformation!

Xanthan

Friend PM Trade

🌈 You gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day🌈

Never in my professional or personal life have I ever seen someone transform themselves or their life NOT starting in pain.

Emotional pain. Mental pain. Physical pain. Spiritual pain.

Only when they decided they had had enough. When they listened to what that pain was trying to tell them. “This is not what life is meant to be. You are worth more than this.”

Only then did they take action to make a change.

If you’re stuck in pain right now. Listen to that pain. What is it telling you? What is it signaling you to do?

What if now was the time for you to take that pain and use it to motivate you towards something better? Like a phoenix rising from the ashes to fly towards greatness.

Your pain could be your greatest gift.

If you let it.

Thoughts?

Colan

Friend PM Trade

My thoughts are as your own. Without struggle, a human can not grow.

Xanthan

Friend PM Trade

🌈 To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze🌈

Thank you for the replies. If I am not pinged I forget the things I post here and among other social media lol I have so many classes dealing with issues among communities and peoples and IDK I tend to have my own views and so I enjoy the feedback I get when I post here or in my hangouts thread. Thank you all again.

I feel pain is good for growth overall. It is pain that is a warning that something isn't right. I mean, there's a condition where people are not able to feel pain. How else are they to know that they have a splinter? How about if they cut themselves? I know there are other ways around it but pain in our first indicator generally. I think that goes for pain in our hearts too. Just my thoughts.

Wildfire

Friend PM Trade

@Xanthan: I think you're absolutely right. Pain in one form or another is a great motivator for change ... if you only take the time to reflect upon what you're feeling, why, and figure out what you want to do differently. If you don't take the time to reflect upon it and actively choose a different course of action, the pain tends to come out violently and erratically... which doesn't tend to go well most of the time (in my experience anyway)

Count Trashula

Friend PM Trade

sounds good on paper, but sometimes you spend your entire life in that pain despite doing everything in your power to escape it. then what? asking for a friend

ALWAYS PING ME

Xanthan

Friend PM Trade

🌈 To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze🌈

@Count Trashula: in my experience you can do one of two things. Go straight up or sideways. You can let it get the best of you and wear you down until you give up or give in....or you can continue your fight to get out until you have the strength, resources, and opportunity to do so successfully. In the meantime though your friend should reach out to others and share what's going on. There are resources available for all types of pain and all types of removal from those pains. As a life coach I have helped people to get out, pick themselves back up, and to rebuild by connecting them with resources. Reach out, help your friend, there's help and hope in some of the most unlikely places.

@Wildfire: so very true. That's why hurt people end up hurting people. It is also why addiction is a cycle and one that can run for generations. There are many reasons why people do not escape their pain when they need to or first realize it, but one thing we always have control over is how we react to those things life throws at us. We can't control others nor their mouths and opinions and we can't get them to keep their hands to themselves. But we can choose how we react and deal with it.

Wildfire

Friend PM Trade

@Xanthan: exactly. It's all about taking responsibility for your own feelings, actions, reactions, and decisions. That doesn't mean it doesn't completely suck dealing with bad things or experiences sometimes, but it's ultimately our choice to let it affect us badly (to allow ourselves to be "victimized"), or to learn from the experience, let it go, and to move on in a healthy way...

Xanthan

Friend PM Trade

🌈 To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze🌈

@Wildfire: I don't always view victimization as a bad thing. I believe it is real and has a place. For instance, people from my past have, we'll let's say they had a hard time keeping their hands off me and to themselves. I am a victim. I carried that with me for a long time and took it to a very dark place at times. I now try to turn to that for strength. I still hurt and my mind can be a warzone at times. When these things first happened and even the second time and third I wasn't aware of how to act or react. I am a cismale and we aren't victims. We don't get abused. We don't talk about these things. We don't. Later on in life I learned that we do. And we can. And I will. So, victimization isn't necessarily a bad thing. And I don't think when it is legitimate that we allow ourselves to be victimized. Though I do know some who like to play victim in their own lives. Nothing is ever their fault. Always someone else wronging them. Both the hero and the victim in their life story yet 0 accountability. So...I can see many sides to this just as in life very little is strictly black or white.

Wildfire

Friend PM Trade

Xanthan:
...victimization...has a place. .... I now try to turn to that for strength.

This^^.

Xanthan:
I don't think when it is legitimate that we allow ourselves to be victimized.

I am not, under any circumstances, denying or minimizing that being a victim to somebody or something else doesn't exist, or that it is by Any Means the victim's fault for traumas inflicted upon them!!!

Xanthan:
Though I do know some who like to play victim in their own lives. Nothing is ever their fault. Always someone else wronging them. Both the hero and the victim in their life story yet 0 accountability.

Yes... what I am trying to express (good grief- the nuances in trying to explain this!!) is rather that despite crappy things happening to us (& yes, it completely sucks, and it haunts, and it torments), ultimately we choose whether or not to continue playing the mental and emotional "films" of remembered trauma and dwell on them, OR, we learn from our experiences and grow. Abuse happens on a physical or mental level, inflicted by one upon another. The recipient of this abuse, now has a choice - let their bad experiences define them OR choose not to dwell on the experiences and to go on.*

* if the person has the awareness and ability to process their experiences at all -and I'm not sure some do - which brings us back to history and patterns repeating themselves. And I am not advocating ignoring or denying the issues, trauma, or experiences, but rather acknowledging them without letting the experience(s) define "us"; moving on in a healthy way.

Wildfire

Friend PM Trade

And I am truly sorry to learn that you have had some of the experiences you have apparently had. :(

Xanthan

Friend PM Trade

🌈 To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze🌈

@Wildfire: no worries on the nuances. I never assume anyones intentions or motives. I have just learned to try and spell things out because I do know many who will assume infer imply and otherwise. You're good as far as I'm concerned :)

Wildfire

Friend PM Trade

I understand. I too was just trying to be clear - I have had people misunderstand me concerning this topic in the past, and dealing with victimization can be a long, tough road to walk even for those who choose not to let the experience(s) define them.

┤▒├ Hangout with me! ┤▒├

Xanthan

Friend PM Trade

🌈 To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze🌈

Don't Quit
by
John Greenleaf Whittier

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is strange with its twists and turns
As every one of us sometimes learns
And many a failure comes about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow—
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out—
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell just how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit—
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

🌈

Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry or invited a stranger to come inside?

🌈

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Forums General Chit-Chat Gifts, pain, and transformation!

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