π To my boy, all that energy so vital
Love your hues and your blues in equal measure
Your comings and your goings-away
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablazeπ
@0v7: Good job! All too often people want to celebrate their endgame. I will be happy or happier when, I will rest when, I will xy or z when. When in all reality they need to celebrate the effort and not just the endgame. If you can be happy or happier when, then you can make that choice now. You can be happy or happier now. In the moment. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that it took time to create the anxiety and angst you feel. It is going to take equal time to heal and move on from it completely. I did not get to where I am in a day, and so I am not going to change in a day. But by golly I am going to be happy with every step and moment of progress not perfection. I am not where I want to be but I'll be darn if I am where I used to be. I do have some tips or tools to help with the dysmorphia. I would definitely start with and keep up with the gratitude for a few months. 30-45 days at least. That will help retrain your brain to seek out the positive because our brains naturally are tuned in to seek out that which is different, bad, odd, uncommon, and otherwise that which we do not think belongs. That is a good thing for the most part as it is a survival instinct from caveman days essentially. These days, we have as a people, come to embrace that negativity and that frame of reference too much. Now we must get back on track and maintain balance. I would also, but not at this time, wait the 30-45 days before attempting it, but write out your fears. For some people dysmorphia comes from family or bullying. It comes from a trait of obesity and they don't want to end up like so and so. Generally there is some sort of anxiety around being teased or taunted. Write it out. Look at it. Take that personal inventory. I would also suggest cutting out anything and anyone that contributes to low sel-esteem. That seems drastic and it can be. But you need to maintain healthy boundaries. Love and care, but some people, like my family, need to be loved and cared for from a distance. If someone is putting another person down in your presence, they won't hesitate to do the same in your absence. Educate. Explain. and if they don't understand, expel. Create a healthy place where people can communicate freely but not spew additional toxins about anyone. That is where I would start. Get grateful. Take inventory and understand your story so you can rewrite the ending. And boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. It is always easier to set strong boundaries from the start than to go in and try to change them after a relationship has begun. Relationship here being one of family, friends, partners, etc. I hope this helps.
@LilMissKushy: So true. Sadly there are many things left in the world which seem to be gender specific when it comes to stereotyping. That does not at all mean that those stereotypes are true, just that they exist.
@vessel: so sorry I missed your comment earlier. I do apologize. I like a jaunty little tune :) Thank you