I am a mess of anxiety right now.
STORY TIME for context

Sunday night while I was at my retail job, thinking about how much I am sick of my retail job, and how annoying its been after I graduated my college and sent off my application to take the state exam so I can legally work as a massage therapist, but they didn't even start processing the application until a month later--end of last week.
WELL
I got a text message from someone saying that they found my resume that I had uploaded on one of them job sites. She was like, hey I went to the same school as you in the past, and I want to hire you on my team! She had some positions in mind, considering I'm only certified and can't work as a therapist yet.
Of course I'm like sure, I'd love to interview.
She asked if I can do it the very next day, in the early afternoon.

I joined my interview, was greeted very warmly by this lady. She's very lovely, sounded very excited. We did bond over our shared experiences and having the same mentors.
But the interview was pretty unprofessional, even if it was friendly. I couldn't ask most of my questions because she would never pause for me to get a word in. I had to kinda cut her off a couple of times to at least ask what the wages are and such, but there's still so much more I need to know.

She had two positions that could keep me busy until I can take my state exam, one of them is a receptionist position, the other one I'm not sure how legal it is. It sounded like something that she might pay me under the table for (I DID make it clear I'm not licensed), but it was to massage the team that she has. I want more information on that but, again, I couldn't ask questions cause it was hard to speak. She also offered paid training in modalities that are practiced there, which is amazing to me. But that bit is definitely for after I'm licensed so I don't get slapped in the face by COMTA.

She didn't ask me any questions beyond scheduling.

She introduced me to a lady who would train me for receptionist, something I can do to get out of retail and start learning the business I'll be working in (this being by my choice and agreement). That lady very plainly did not want to.
It was awkward, but I felt that she had good reason and it wasn't personal or against me. It was just... One person was saying "you can do both!" and the other was like "you can't do both cause I said so"
Despite what I was agreeing to do, she probably didn't think I would be truthful in working a receptionist position on the side of doing massage after I'm licensed. She didn't want to train me for 4 weeks for me to turn around on her. PEOPLE IN CO ARE FLAKY, I GET HER LOGIC.
So that's alright, in the end we all agreed to hold off on that.

That encounter was brief, and then the interviewer lady brought me to the front, introduced me to everyone saying that I'll be joining the place. Confirmed I was hired, said she was very excited to start working with me and gave me a hug before I left. That last part sounds strange but I think she was just excited about the school I attended, there's a weird kinship that develops there. Small place and all. I get it.

Anyway, she agreed to keep in touch this week and gave me her number so I can follow up on my exam dates once I know, and also she would need me to come back and fill out paperwork to cover formalities (I planned to ask my questions then, writing them down beforehand and just being kindly assertive. I didn't have enoguh time to write my questions for the interview, was so short notice). Oddly enough, as soon as I got in my car to go home I got an email to schedule my exam. I can't do it until Nov 9th cause most dates are booked, but thats OK.

I texted her that, and no response.
The next day I texted her another thing she needed, and I kind of slipped a little question about the team massages. No response.
Its another day and I dunno what to assume.
She wanted to start me with something asap, but then maybe she realized we would be dancing a fine line, I just wish there was a little communication to know what the plan is. :vanora_sweat:
And when she wants me to fill stuff out, and when can I have my questions answered. When can I ask them, actually. I'unno, silence makes me feel cautious af cause I've had a job go so far as to have me fill out the proper paperworks and be hired, only to flake out on me.

I dont like not knowing plans.
Makes me feel like I might get dropped.

@totalanimefan:
Yeah it does suck for sure. But things happen for a reason. Maybe now isnt the right time cause the world is a little chaotic at the moment. So all these things fall into my lap to say "hey, wait a second"

I also started dating someone very recently and his dreams and goals line up very closely with mine. The timing for when he wants to leave Colorado would also be the same as mine. So at the end of my course, I'll start planning my move (and I'll have more savings by then since I'll definitely have a license sorted) and it'll be easier. Plus I might not be doing it all alone? lol

@totalanimefan:
I cannot tell you how excited I was/am about this partner. We've been together about a month now, but when we FIRST started dating, I wanted to make the point to tell him I wont be staying in CO eventually and explain to him my dreams and goals. I may compromise with WHERE I go, but I will never again compromise NOT to go, yknow?
Before I could get that out, he started to tell ME that HE doesn't want to stay here, and of his 3 options, one was to go back to Wisconsin where he's from, or his "reach for the stars" dream (as he puts it) to go to this major fancy uni in NY for his doctorate, or Texas. I think he said something about Austin has a college (or a job, idr) that interests him a lot for his field. My focus fizzled out cause I got too excited lmao

He wont be joining me on this trip, since I'll be staying at my uncle's place whom I haven't seen since I was a kid. I felt it would be too awkward, but also my bf can't miss his classes right now. He'll join me for future travels when he gets breaks between semesters.

@totalanimefan:
OUCH, yeah that's kind of happened to me when I visited England before too! Its crazy painful sometimes.
But I did plan this trip to be mostly solo anyways, aside from catching up with my uncle, so it'll still be a blast!
I'll give myself mini quests like seeing my old job, seeing the beach, and finding weird souvs to bring back to my friends lol

@peptobismol:
Thank you! <3
Whatever happens happens :D I think I'll just refrain from getting excited again until there's a schedule set in stone.