GUYS
I have so much to say
I think the last time I was on here, was during holiday season when I was getting a new job and stuff?
Massage Therapy flopped very hard and I was at my lowest point in finances and mental health, then I stumbled into a job as a sales person with a company that takes very good care of their employees. Well this rollercoaster is still runnin~

Financially stable and independent again, my partner and I were like, SWEET
The last 6 months have been good for us

but somewhere we still weren't happy. Neither of us like where we live, so even though we're making the most of it and enjoying the great positives, there was still that deep down sense of "where do we belong tho?"

We always talked about leaving this state, but as a plan for later, when he finishes his current college course.



I'm still battling with ptsd from this, my manager and I both.
There's a lot of craziness where I live, and I've always always wanted to leave. In light of everything my company has reached out to me, and they're helping me to relocate across the country, where I want to live anyway. My partner is coming with, since there are more opportunities for him too and his course will be way better if he transfers colleges there.
He's struggled with the realization that you can lose the person you love at any moment, and I know thats been hard for him. He tries not to vocalize it because he wants to be strong for me, but I'm definitely going to seek out counseling for us both once we settle in our new home in the south. To help with our paranoias and my ptsd. So we'll be fine.

This move has offered me the distraction I need to get better too. I've wanted this for a decade. I never wanted to move here at the start--but hey, I was just a kid back then. Now I'm able to do this all and its blowing my mind. Its like I'm fulfilling a dream and once i get there, I gotta work on creating new goals and dreams. It'll be fun to move forward.
As for my partner, when he realized how easily all of this fell into our laps when we decided to go, I've never seen him so excited about anything. Like, he's always easily excitable, but he hit a whole other level of "this is exactly where we belong"

I dont mean to weigh heavily on the one tragic thing--I really intended to come and say holy crap, this dream of mine is happening, and I'm so excited to get there in a week!

@kozi:
Oh geez, I'm sorry that you can relate to it too. It really is hard, I do still get flash backs to it sometimes. I'm fortunate that most moments my memory recollection is too foggy and I can focus on my life more.

I've already met my new store manager over the phone and my regional manager for down there--they're very very sweet and supportive. My company doesn't normally offer financial help with moving unless you promote, but they've made an exception for this. It covers my lease break, which has also been very generous because my landlady is supporting me too.

My partner's apartment is throwing him and his room mates out at the same time as this move, because they changed the signup dates (student apartments suck a lot) and were basically like "maybe you didn't know that but too bad, we already booked new tenants in your rooms anyways so get out"
It kind of feels like this move is really meant to happen for a reason

@Totalanimefan:
Thank you for the advice! I'll keep the thigh tapping thing in mind, it makes sense how that can help.
My triggers aren't frequent, but my partner knows what sounds will do it and he recognizes when my mind is bordering on a fit. He helps a lot by patting or rubbing my shoulder or knee (whatever's in reach) and talking to me. Maybe that's a similar thing.

But yes, I'm so excited to be where I want to be. I remember talking with you last year about things like this. I knew I'd get there eventually but I can't believe its officially official and I"ll really achieve it this year! Like, on the 25th of this month exactly. It feels unreal.
Its also crazy to me that my partner has wanted this for longer than I have, so I have the perfect person to go on these adventures with. We enjoy long car rides together so even though a 14 hour drive down there is a bit daunting, we're excited for that too.

I'll try to be better at updating :'D