please don’t post here
if you want to talk to me about something here please message me, comment on my profile, etc.
Ohhhhhh you know. One of those threads.
For whatever reason I’m having a really time writing in my paper and pen journal, but writing my thoughts is a really important part of self regulation for me. So I’m hoping I can kinda micro journal here the way I’ve seen some others do.
Forums The Undercurrent Synth’s journal
I guess feel free to message me or post in here if you’d like, about something I’ve posted.
Conversation isn’t really the reason for this thread though so I may ignore you if I’m not feeling it.
It’s not personal. The undercurrent is where I come to hide.
Conversation isn’t really the reason for this thread though so I may ignore you if I’m not feeling it.
It’s not personal. The undercurrent is where I come to hide.
Things are just really fucking hard right now
They’re getting better I guess but Christ it’s slow going
They’re getting better I guess but Christ it’s slow going
My sense of identity and the queer bashing is so bad here that I feel so self conscious of my avatar here even on the forums
Who gives a fuck if people think my gay avatar is gay on a site like this?
It’s just become so hard
I’m wearing makeup again and my wife says it’s pretty and that made me happy. That she noticed and encouraged it today meant a lot.
She’s so good and so important wow I love her !!!!!!!
Who gives a fuck if people think my gay avatar is gay on a site like this?
It’s just become so hard
I’m wearing makeup again and my wife says it’s pretty and that made me happy. That she noticed and encouraged it today meant a lot.
She’s so good and so important wow I love her !!!!!!!
My wife just found one of the dogs nails in the bed lmaoooo
Nasty ass creature
Nasty ass creature
Oh I’m tired
I guess I should get ready for bed
Doing yoga really helped with my pain. I don’t know that I can call it yoga, but stretching any way. God that feels good. I don’t think my muscles have the ability to relax on their own. I wonder if that’s the autism or something else wonderful. The brain damage or the ptsd
Why can’t I sue my mother for setting me up to be a horrible adult
I guess I should get ready for bed
Doing yoga really helped with my pain. I don’t know that I can call it yoga, but stretching any way. God that feels good. I don’t think my muscles have the ability to relax on their own. I wonder if that’s the autism or something else wonderful. The brain damage or the ptsd
Why can’t I sue my mother for setting me up to be a horrible adult
Took a long ass nap each day this weekend. Felt amazing afterwards. Hopefully it’s just getting over that damn flu or whatever and not that I need that much sleep. I don’t have time for it.
I know I need more sleep and rest than I’m getting daily but life doesn’t care that I’m disabled.
Sometimes I wonder if something Real Bad happened and I ended up in the hospital if any family besides my wife would even show up.
Moving back in as an adult has been eye opening in the worst way. I’ve learned and grown so much in the last 2 months here.
God I hope I get a scholarship. I don’t know what we’ll do or how long we’ll have to stay here in semi homeless limbo if we have to save it all up ourselves.
The hotel alone would be like 3 grand for a month or something.
I know I need more sleep and rest than I’m getting daily but life doesn’t care that I’m disabled.
Sometimes I wonder if something Real Bad happened and I ended up in the hospital if any family besides my wife would even show up.
Moving back in as an adult has been eye opening in the worst way. I’ve learned and grown so much in the last 2 months here.
God I hope I get a scholarship. I don’t know what we’ll do or how long we’ll have to stay here in semi homeless limbo if we have to save it all up ourselves.
The hotel alone would be like 3 grand for a month or something.
Well I guess it’s time for bed.
I feel so sad. I did my shot late this week. I want to change to the pellets wheee you only do it every six months or so but who knows If this god forsaken podunk town can even do that. Or if they’ll try to “refer” me to someone out of area.
Not that I have insurance. I think my work has to offer it to me next month. Get me and my wife on that so she can get her guts looked at finally. God. God! Ahhhhhhhhhh
I feel so sad. I did my shot late this week. I want to change to the pellets wheee you only do it every six months or so but who knows If this god forsaken podunk town can even do that. Or if they’ll try to “refer” me to someone out of area.
Not that I have insurance. I think my work has to offer it to me next month. Get me and my wife on that so she can get her guts looked at finally. God. God! Ahhhhhhhhhh
I hate bed time so much. I wish I had more of a routine.
It’ll be good to get trucking and that life style will kinda force a routine. And that’ll be nice. I hope it’s nice.
Fuck I’m sad. Tired of being sad.
It’ll be good to get trucking and that life style will kinda force a routine. And that’ll be nice. I hope it’s nice.
Fuck I’m sad. Tired of being sad.
I didn’t think I’d have so much to say. I guess that’s good.
Okay. Good night everyone.
Okay. Good night everyone.
Oof that was a lot. Maybe I’ll move all that shit to page 2 once I get there so people aren’t just suddenly seeing all that
Oh well. Work today, work tomorrow.
I have the training book and I bought some cute highlighters so I can get started on that on my lunch break and that’ll be good.
I’d almost do it in the break room but my boss is such a nosy bastard I don’t want him up my ass asking me about it. It’s not your business, Randy!!!!!
I have the training book and I bought some cute highlighters so I can get started on that on my lunch break and that’ll be good.
I’d almost do it in the break room but my boss is such a nosy bastard I don’t want him up my ass asking me about it. It’s not your business, Randy!!!!!
But for now I have breakfast with baby bear and we’re watching our stupid show and I love that for us!
Okay. Gonna wear a little makeup to work today. See how it goes.
If one of those teenagers asks me stupid questions about it I might be mean.
But I doubt anyone will notice or comment.
I’m tired of pretending to be straight.
They can’t afford to fire me over some stupid gay shit and I doubt anyone will care enough to kick my ass.
I’ve learned over the more recent years that most people are cowards. And I am not.
If one of those teenagers asks me stupid questions about it I might be mean.
But I doubt anyone will notice or comment.
I’m tired of pretending to be straight.
They can’t afford to fire me over some stupid gay shit and I doubt anyone will care enough to kick my ass.
I’ve learned over the more recent years that most people are cowards. And I am not.
At this point my lack of cowardice is probably my greatest asset.
“A butch can survive anything.”
“A butch can survive anything.”
Yo at least I made 3k spamming the undercurrent during work today. Not bad at all!
ping me for best results
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.