『 Moody Says. . .』
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As of late, last couple of weeks i had to take over the main cooking duty in my household, due to my sister's panic and anxiety disorder getting increasingly worse, i took over so she could get some time to rest and relax. But now feels like even tho I am doing a lot, I am still getting lectured about needing to start earlier. Even tho usually I don't know what will be happening for dinner because sometimes my sister will feel up to cooking. Tho it's rare these days. I usually wait until she wakes up to tell me what I need to do because i don't normally know what to do as again I'm not normally the main person who cooks. And she sleeps sometimes until 6:30pm, due to her insomnia. And i also get lectured on how i need to get up earlier, and do this or that, etc.
Not to mention it's already hard to do most of the cooking because with my ADHD i struggle a lot with getting myself to do things. Especially cooking and overall chores. and it feels like i have to do everything with no assistance. And my dad is always quite negative. Which i understand why because we are broke, jobless, and lost my mother last year in September and it's still a grieving process.
But with the constant negativity, having to hear everyone's issues, never voicing my own, doing the chores and mainly doing all the cooking, it feels pointless to bother continuing to do things i like. I am very passionate about art, i love it, it's been my coping mechanism since i was a child, and I work[kinda] as a freelance artist. but with everything I have to do now, it feels like i shouldn't bother to peruse my dreams of being a freelance artist anymore.
Just kinda at a loss of what to do because it's not like i can ask for help. My dad can't cook, my sister can barely handle cooking anymore, my dad does the dishes but complains that i should do that as well. regardless that my adhd has limitations on how much i can do in a whole day.
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As of late, last couple of weeks i had to take over the main cooking duty in my household, due to my sister's panic and anxiety disorder getting increasingly worse, i took over so she could get some time to rest and relax. But now feels like even tho I am doing a lot, I am still getting lectured about needing to start earlier. Even tho usually I don't know what will be happening for dinner because sometimes my sister will feel up to cooking. Tho it's rare these days. I usually wait until she wakes up to tell me what I need to do because i don't normally know what to do as again I'm not normally the main person who cooks. And she sleeps sometimes until 6:30pm, due to her insomnia. And i also get lectured on how i need to get up earlier, and do this or that, etc.
Not to mention it's already hard to do most of the cooking because with my ADHD i struggle a lot with getting myself to do things. Especially cooking and overall chores. and it feels like i have to do everything with no assistance. And my dad is always quite negative. Which i understand why because we are broke, jobless, and lost my mother last year in September and it's still a grieving process.
But with the constant negativity, having to hear everyone's issues, never voicing my own, doing the chores and mainly doing all the cooking, it feels pointless to bother continuing to do things i like. I am very passionate about art, i love it, it's been my coping mechanism since i was a child, and I work[kinda] as a freelance artist. but with everything I have to do now, it feels like i shouldn't bother to peruse my dreams of being a freelance artist anymore.
Just kinda at a loss of what to do because it's not like i can ask for help. My dad can't cook, my sister can barely handle cooking anymore, my dad does the dishes but complains that i should do that as well. regardless that my adhd has limitations on how much i can do in a whole day.
