Forums The Undercurrent Synth’s journal
I’m thinking about the other option and I’m not going to do it but fuckninsont want to do this anymore
Talked it out with bear and doing better. Kinda getting back on my regular shit. The situation still isn’t good. And I’m sad
Things will be okay. I’ll keep working on my relationship with dad and see how it goes. I hope he can get things together and have a better rest of his life
And I’ll try to stay level headed and not let a single event completely shatter me and throw me off. A hard day but doing better now.
Getting some ice cream and gonna go look at the ocean. Then go shopping and head home. Not too horribly early. Talk to dad if he’s around and see how he’s doing.
I’m glad he got a cry out last night. I know he’s needed it. I’m glad he can still be that way around me I guess
Oh I guess I feel shame. Shame at being week and struggling to quit. But I want to. God I want to. I need to. I have to. Ahhhhh. God god god.
I feel stupid but I guess I don’t need to. I’m okay. My family is okay for tonight. No one hates me, after all. No one who matters anyway.
And now we’re back to our regularly scheduled Tom foolery. The man said something about dogs or hotdogs and then yelled about hating people and weirdos.
I try to keep last night in mind. Idk. The other night now I guess. Still my last night but his other night now.
I try to keep last night in mind. Idk. The other night now I guess. Still my last night but his other night now.
Like, so what’s the truth? The duality of man nonsense? Honestly I’m gonna be 30 and I don’t truly know what that means or where it came from
Had a gender crisis at work today which is one of the reasons I chose to leave early. Baby walked me through it. She’s so good and I’m so lucky to have her.
Oh this swee cats making bread on me. It’ll really suck if we have to rehome her. But that’s better than leaving her up here where the dogs will chase her and no one will care for her.
There was a time where my dad would have done the bare minimum to keep her alive and relatively happy; he’d care because I care. He showed some of that again when we moved in and she was getting treed and chased for the first time and he was really worried about her.
I do love him and I miss him. And I think he feels the same way about me. We both miss the old version of each other and are having trouble with the new current version. It’s rough.
Our bigges issue I think is our experiences have been so different and our worldviews and politics are so different as a result. And he cares so much about politics. And I just don’t at this point. And I don’t have the energy for real conversations about that stuff.
I think we’re both ignorant on each other’s issues. It’s true I shouldn’t be so ignorant.
I think my lack of political commentary worries him more than my actual perspective or opinion. He wants to know what I think and why but I just don’t have much to offer in that area. Life is exhausting enough without it.
I think we’re both ignorant on each other’s issues. It’s true I shouldn’t be so ignorant.
I think my lack of political commentary worries him more than my actual perspective or opinion. He wants to know what I think and why but I just don’t have much to offer in that area. Life is exhausting enough without it.
I feel like my political views can be summed up as “vote Bernie. End racism” like at this point that’s all I have time for. And I don’t have the energy to have to explain to someone why I feel that way.
ping me for best results
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.