(Update: You all are wonderful as always <3 I've had a week of feeling better, so here's to trying new routines)

Therapy is seemingly forever out of my reach, no matter how hard I work for it. Even the "cheapest" of options is still just too much for my wallet to handle. But I didn't wanna pop on here to complain about mental health system.

I'm real bad at routines and healthy habits, but I still wanted to ask anyways. Like maybe there's something simple, like a phone app or a book, or a specific kind of journal (not the diary kinds) that have helped you or seem helpful in working on inner peace?

I know I need to learn how to let things go, I feel that so many things have piled and stacked on my shoulders that its always as if I have a mountain on my back. Its almost like a curse.
Unloading by talking about my problems seems the opposite of helpful, so for this maybe therapy isn't exactly what I want. Heck, maybe I just need a job that I'm not gone 12 hours a day. But thats a distant goal :vanora_sweat: And frankly, as much as I blame my stress on working too much, I don't think that's actually the main factor to my mental health. I think its a variety of things, and a lot of it is just internal.

Or maybe I'm wrong and work really is breaking me down too much? I don't have much choice with that, anyways. Not a good time to bounce careers. So I ought to balance my brain so I can endure these things.

Definitely one factor is my diet, which is probably another thing I need to work on with all my strength. I have always had a really bad food aversion issue. I love love veggies, can't get enough of them. Noodles, pasta, rice are all so easy for me to eat even when I'm having a really bad aversion day. But as my overall mental health shrinks, my desire to eat also does. It gets difficult. I can hardly stomach meat anymore, with all the fatty gritty chewy textures it gets. I always hated seafood but I want so badly to like it, cause that could eliminate a lot of the texture issue ;; and its good for mind and body. Its also lean.

I'm rambling a bit though!
Share with me any ideas you may have for self help practices?
I may be gone at work 12 hours a day but sometimes I can bring things to my job if its portable enough. I actually need to practice doing more things for myself on my downtime at work, cause some of where my physical health keeps slipping is cause I usually care for that at home. But at work I dont, I just sit and play Mystic Mansion all day. ineedtostop. ;v;'''

Even right now I'm getting so pent up with anger
I lost a serial number to my art program
left my ipad charger at work
so all in all, cant digital draw at all like I had planned to until I get that number, but it was a gift so idk if the support team will even be able to help ;;;;;;
tv from the neighbors upstairs is so very very loud.
I just cant relax

These are all real helpful advices ;v;
tyty
I'll definitely see a dentist when I can to help with the teeth grinding. I looked at teeth guards but I have two bottom "fangs" that are not aligned, so the normal guards may not fit right (I wanna try but they're also insanely priced for something that might not fit!)
I only need something for my back molars >> maybe something exists that doesn't need to wrap around my whole jaw?

Anyway, I do wanna try Kaira's suggestions too. I think it does sound helpful to categorize my thoughts and organize them in a structured fashion.
I do this when I want too many "things" like material items. It helps me not impulse buy XD


@koneko:
"Without fixing the sources of stress it’s almost more stressful to force yourself to eat."
YES to this so much. Food only becomes easy when my mind is not in scrambles. ;;
I like what you mention a lot too. The closest I've gotten to journalling so far is using that Finch app. Found that after posting htis thread and it kiiiind of helps? It asks me questions and I either answer or dont if I dont feel like it. I'm a bit choosey cause I prefer the bullet points than paragraphs. I'm also too lazy to explain anything I write about, so very vague. But I have my husband doing it with me (he's also looking for self help for depression) and I think it is helping him more than me. That makes me happy~

Either way, I am proud of you for being able to help yourself in these ways. Its such a hard thing to keep up with long term or routinely. My husband is better at routines than I am so he's trying to help me keep on track with it. I may need to start setting alarms haha