@milkshake: I feel that about the fight or flight. I don’t know how to relax. Growing up I was always stuck in fight or flight because my older sister and mom would torture me. My sister always busting into my room, breaking my stuff, not respecting my privacy, going out of her way to physically harm me.
(She’s like a big jock dude. To paint a picture, she is a big (overweight and buff) lesbian that would power lift and stuff. And I’m a scrawny not buff little gay boy at the time)

I never answer phone calls. I have gotten better at checking my mail and email though!
And I was a raging alcoholic for like 7-8 years.
That’s what my “black rose” story is about.
Poetic title but it’s actually my friends last and middle name that died around that time and that led me to the beginning of my alcoholism.
And that’s crazy about the book! In a great way because I’ve started writing a book / story to help me cope with all of my nightmares and try to express myself in new ways just try and understand myself.
And also to get all these thoughts out of my head because I am so obsessive that it won’t go away until I create it.

@macsen191: mindfulness is wonderful! What really irks me though is when someone like me who struggles with their mental health is around other people that think they know all the answers and they often ask “do you practice mindfulness?” Like only if I just took their advice and practiced mindfulness their way, I’d be fine.
Like people just don’t understand other people sometimes and it drives me wild.

Uhh, I guess that was just a random tangent.

Just really nice to relate and connect to other people about this stuff

It gets so condescending and rude. Like yeah, but I am only human and I am allowed to react to situations. I’m allowed to not always know the immediate right thing to say or do.

Thank you both for sharing!