Anxiety: A Rant - Voltra Online

Anarchist Beauty

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The number one thing I hate about anxiety, strangely and sadly, isn't even the anxiety itself. That I can control and handle on most occasions. I know myself and my anxiety well enough by now that I know what works to calm me down the quickest, I know what works to prevent me from freaking out in the first place, and most importantly I know my limits. So that's not a problem.
The problem comes when I start telling people about my limits, because inevitably someone will come along and act like they know better than I do about my own issues. They'll prance along and claim that I'm not doing enough, or not pushing myself enough, or even that I am overreacting about things or 'missing out' on something because of my anxiety and the limitations I know I have. Like can you shut the whole hell up? I'm not missing out on anything, I am skipping the anxiety attack and saving myself the trouble. It's freaking great that you can do all these Things but I can not and for you to say something about that is rude and disrespectful.
We all have different limitations, whether from anxiety or any number of other problems, so if you could stop acting like your own personal experiences are universal to everyone that would be GREAT.

Thank-you for coming to my TED(Totally, Extremely Dramatic) talk.

Vii

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Bingo. Total pet peeve when people say "all you have to do is x!" Like "yeah wow thanks I forgot it was so easy why didn't I think of that"

Most of the time people mean well but sometimes they're just idiots.

[ often multitasking unsuccessfully ] | [ I may take a while to respond, but haven't forgotten you! ♥ ]
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Anarchist Beauty

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@Vii: It is lovely.
I especially love "look at Thing!"
"I can not look at Thing, I have anxiety about the Thing."
'you're missing out!'
No Karen, I'm really not but thanks for your input.

Miss Kitty

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All of this. Right here. Times like this I wish we could +1 (certain) posts.
My mom does this far too often. That and the whole "Its just a phase" or "You need to learn to just get over it." Like..Yeah, doesn't really work that way, thanks for the kind works of support.

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Anarchist Beauty

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@Miss Kitty: Yes, I will just learn to get over my debilitating mental illness!
That'll solve everything!
I'm cured!

Glume

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I actually am probably guilty of this, because I have had HORRIBLE CRIPPLING ANXIETY most of my life and I found good coping mechanisms. I usually try to phrase it as "____ worked for me, maybe you should try it out" but I realize everyone is not the same, so I do hope my advice never sounds like I'm the girl with no problems trying to tell others how to handle theirs. A lot of the time it takes a delicate combination of solutions, because anxiety comes in all shapes and sizes, and can be influenced by so many factors.

Ping me, Devil Daddy, ping me.

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Saeyra

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I agree with SirLionelConrad.
You might not want to hear this right now but I am sure it all comes from a place of love. Try not to be too harsh on them. Some people just can't help caring and worrying about you like parents.
With friends it also feels really crappy to be helpless when your friend is suffering so you try to give as best advice as you can. They probably don't mean anything bad by it.

Always ping me please.

candiedaliens

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Oh man I totally sympathize with you. When people are like that, forcing you to do something outside of what's your comfort/safe zone, it's ridiculous. Even if you tell them a million times, have a panic attack in front of them, or anything, they still think they're in the right.
It's frustrating, but I am glad that you know what your limits are, and I'm glad that you can control your anxiety. Not everyone can do that, and I think it's astonishing that you can. You're doing great!

Anarchist Beauty

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@Glume: Doesn't sound to bad.
"Maybe you should try it too" is not "well you're missing out" or "you're just not pushing yourself enough".
One is an attempt to dish out possible coping skills, the other is being an ass.

@RoseyWitch: I mean I still do suffer with it at times, but I've learned how to deal with most of it over the years.
It's just annoying when you specifically say "that will give me an anxiety attack" and the phrasing you get back is not only rude but disrespectful as well.
I know the two above said it might still come from a place of love and caring, but not when it's phrased 'but whatevs you're missing out'.
There are ways to go about helping your friends and being a jerk about their illness is not one of them.
Trying to guilt them with what you think they are "missing out on" is not one of them.
Because what if they cave and do that Thing and have an anxiety attack because of it? Because you pushed your friend to far and now they're suffering?
What's the response gonna be then?

candiedaliens

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@anarchist beauty: Of course! Anxiety never goes away completely, but when you got a lot of it down, that just makes life so much easier, and that's how life should really be.
Oh yeah sheesh, that's absolutely ridiculous. I mean... Okay, the thing is, family/friends should be flexible, right? When anxiety, something out of your control, they could do something you're comfortable with.
But you know what, it's best to get rid of toxic people like that, rather than them keep on plaguing you. Even though it's hard and it'd take some time to build up the courage to, it's sometimes the best thing.
The response will be something to deteriorate them even more, I bet. That's how people are. It's ridiculous, but if people are out of "the norm" and have a panic attack or some shit, while doing said thing, they'll brush it off and say "come on you're just being sensitive" or something, I bet.

20-Lesbian
I'm randomly active bc of anxiety!

https://candiedaliens.carrd.co/

Forums Serious Talk Anxiety: A Rant

Anarchist Beauty

Vii

Anarchist Beauty

Miss Kitty

Anarchist Beauty

Glume

Saeyra

candiedaliens

Anarchist Beauty

candiedaliens

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