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Donator — Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/20 23:39:00 )
@Shark: Well, anxiety will always be with you but you could lose the work of your legs eventually.
Make sure you go take a walk between now and eventually.
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Donator — He/Him Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/20 23:43:29 )
@Eruca: that's kinda... grim...
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Donator — Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 00:22:10 )
@Shark: Don't you feel more motivated now that you have a deadline?
That's just how my mind works. It's all gonna end one day, so if I want to experience things I better work at it as soon as I can.
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Donator — He/Him Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 00:28:04 )
@Eruca: honestly it just makes me feel worse about myself and less motivated because all I'm doing is worrying. idk.

I still have to wait until next month until I can see a fucking therapist but she'll probably be just as bad as the last one!!!
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Voltie — Damned Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 00:33:02 )

I concur with @Shark. I'm not sure what the subject here is but
deadlines make me feel pressured which compromises my inspiration.
I come up with my best results at my own pace.
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Donator — Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 00:33:54 )
@Shark: Sorry I'm not more useful to you. I have enough trouble dealing with my own issues, though they may not be as intense.

How do you tell a good therapist from a bad one?
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Donator — Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 00:35:54 )
@Buffy The Slayer: If I didn't have a deadline, I'd likely get nothing done.
That's just me tho.
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Voltie — Damned Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 00:41:03 )

@Eruca:

Everyone is different. That's what makes this world go round.

When I have a deadline I end up scrambling near the end to get together something acceptable rather than ending up with my best work.
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Donator — He/Him Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 00:53:22 )
@Eruca: nah, it's fine. Just listening to my nonsense is good enough. :p

Fuck if I know, I feel like they all suck. I had a good one who helped me with my transition, but then she went on to do a private practice thing.
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Donator — Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 01:07:03 )
@Buffy The Slayer: Gravity and inertia make the world go round.

@Shark: Everything you said made sense to me so far.

Yeah, I feel like that too. I never liked the format of therapy. Although I've only sampled like, 3 therapists out of the... god knows how many out there.

It's a shame you couldn't stick with the therapist you like. Transitioning seems like a pretty important piece of context to understand what you're going thru, and it's gonna be hard for a new therapist to "catch up" on everything, so to speak.
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Donator — He/Him Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 01:21:43 )
@Eruca: I never even talk about being trans with any of them. It's so far down on my list of issues. But I think that's what they all expect me to talk about. Something easy.
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Voltie — Damned Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 01:57:33 )

@Eruca:

Nice comeback.
So true. :vanora_sun:
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Just because you don't see me doesn't mean I'm not here. I'm a lurker.

Deals With the Devil

Donator — Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 04:27:00 )
@Shark: Transitioning is your something easy? Wow, you're giving me a lot of perspective in this conversation.

Sometimes it's like you have to manage the therapist. Any conversation goes two ways, i guess, so they have to feel like you're making progress as much as you do, and it's easy to start with something easy. But I'd expect them to at least respect your priorities. You're not just a collection of problems.

@Buffy The Slayer: So I'm guessing that you, uh, like Buffy the vampire slayer?
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Donator — He/Him Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 04:37:43 )
@Eruca: I think I could work on letting them know what I need from them. But sometimes I don't know what I need, so that's not always helpful... but I do know that I'm going to say that when I'm telling them something, just nodding along isn't doing anything for either of us. They need to take my issues seriously, not just overlook them.

cause like... i feel like a lot of what i say just gets ignored...
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Donator — Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 04:53:48 )
@Shark: I thought the point of going to therapy is figuring out what you need to make whatever change in your life you want to make. Not knowing being an obstacle kinda defeats its purpose, imo.

Maybe like, you just have a lot to say and it's like not possible to talk about them all at the same time even though you live it. I think you can always just change the topic to what you think is important. I was always told I could talk about whatever I wanted during therapy. Is that true for you too?
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Donator — He/Him Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 05:19:13 )
@Eruca: I don't know. I can't remember what I've talked about. It's all been so insignificant. I think I talk about what I want to... but I also freeze up a lot and can't say what I want to. My mind just blanks out.
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Donator — Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 05:23:10 )
@Shark: Man, talking is hard. You don't need me to tell you. lol
Even if my mind doesn't blank out, I just plain don't say the words I think I'm saying.
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Donator — He/Him Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 05:29:12 )
@Eruca: Sometimes I go totally off track and say stupid shit that I really couldn't care less about. I wish there was a backspace irl sometimes.
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Donator — Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 05:36:19 )
@Shark: backspace does exist irl tho. You just have to write something out ahead of time. Then you can delete all the irrelevant stuff.
I love writing for that reason. But will still write irrelevant stuff anyway. lmao, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

It boggles my mind how much concentration and mental effort it takes to say things properly. I mean, I talk every day. It makes no sense that it's That hard to convey meaning.
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Ping me

Donator — He/Him Posted 7 years ago ( 2018/04/23 17:02:12 )
@Eruca: I brought in a note I wrote once and I still butchered it anyway. lol. It sounded better in my head and saying it out loud was blahhh.

When writing, would you say "I love all this" or "I love all of this" because I always hear more of the former and I don't like it as much.
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