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Forums Serious Talk When the best friend goes poof

Donator Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/06/5 02:15:20 )
So, I've been pretty conflicted about this for a while. Should I speak up, let it go..what. Normally I would bounce thoughts off of my partner in crime/best friend. But as it happens, they are the topic of this dilemma.

For a quick sum up, friend and I were pretty much like forest and bubba. Had each others back, talked daily, helped each other through life's tough shit. When he went to war, I sat up all hours of the night so he had someone to talk to. When I was sick and in the hospital, he made sure I behaved. heh Anyhow. Life moves on, he met girl. I like girl, girl and I get along. Crazy friend stuff happens. Best friend and new friend get married. Things pretty much the same. But again, life goes on. Best friend goes to law school. Now, I know has life, family and now school. So kinda hung back and just checked in every so often with either or both. I went though a lot of stuff this past year kinda alone. But I made it. Honestly it's a little rougher this year. And honestly, I could have used the wanker and new gal pal being around. In any capacity. It's been about 5 months since I've spoken to either of them. And I guess I'm just wondering should I just leave them be to go on with their lives. Is this typical when a friend starts a new life? What am I suppose to do with this.

Hopefully this dosen't sound like whining. Just a lot of confusion.
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Voltie — HIM Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/06/5 02:48:30 )
Drifting apart like that sucks.
Could be that they feel awkward about it since it's been a while.

Have you been trying to contact them but getting no response?
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Donator Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/06/5 02:55:43 )
@Rallaa: Indeed.
And the last couple times we did talk it was extremely short. But yes. I have also been getting no replies. In the beginning they would get back to me when they could.

I'm pretty sure i should just let it go. But i get frustrated with myself because i think it sucks. But at the same time i believe they should go on an be happy or whatever.
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Voltie — HIM Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/06/5 03:05:58 )
Ah, I see.
It does suck. Unfortunately it's just something that happens.
I doubt they planned to leave you out in the cold like this.

If you want to keep trying, maybe one day things will go back to the way they were.
It's not as if your friendship with them will interfere with their relationship and happiness. (Unless the wife had a problem with you for some reason, but you didn't say anything about that, so I doubt it.)
I don't think anyone would blame you for letting go either. Even them.
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Donator Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/06/5 03:43:29 )
@Rallaa: Nah. Wife and i get along grand. We were always up to something.
I guess I'll just leave it be and if they ever contact me again, awesome.
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Donator — Nerd Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/06/5 04:37:24 )
::::

⌈@Bone Wench: Honestly if you were all so close before,
contacting them now really won't be a bother.
I recently just had this happen with me and friends from high school.
We were the same as you and your friends.
And recently I contacted them and was like hey I'm so sorry I've not contacted you in a while.
And they talked to me like nothing ever really changed.

So to me, I'd take the chance and contact them.⌋

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Donator — she/they Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/06/5 08:54:31 )
I used to be that friend who was a stalwart companion, now I'm married with a job (Just one thing!) and I never have time to support my friends like I really want to. I feel like all I do anymore is work and sleep. If any of my friends called me and told me they needed me, I'd still be there in a heartbeat, I just don't have the energy to initiate sometimes. Or I get myself caught up in a similar "what if" game with why we're growing apart. Perhaps this is what is happening with your friends, they seem to have a lot of new stuff on their plates.
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Voltie Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/06/28 06:06:54 )
I found out my best friend of over 10 years who I had some of my best high school memories and has saved me from some extremely dangerous moments in my life is moving away in a few weeks and I'm really worried her and I will drift apart and stop being as close as we used to. I've had so many chances to go to her place and hang out with her and her son but most of the time I found an excuse not to go, but now that she's leaving I wish I would've went to see her more than I did.
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Donator — A.I. Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/07/3 13:02:32 )
It sucks and it's sad, but it happens. Peoples' priorities change and the world in which we live is one of "too many things to do, not enough time". Sometimes those chapters end but they make way for the next chapter. I've moved a dozen times and always said I'd keep in touch but it's hard. More gets heaped on your plate even though you're not necessarily ready... The friendship itself never dies, but it's just hard to find the time to fit everyone in and still take care of yourself / your duties. I wouldn't give up on it, but I also wouldn't hang on to it for dear life either. After all, as Keno mentioned, if you ever do get back in contact with them it'll be as if you'd never missed a beat. <3


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