I'm gonna suggest a bark collar.
Because we had one for our little dog and it worked great.
He wouldn't bark at all.
So this dog needs one.
Because FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE DAMN MORNING is TOO EARLY for this little asshole to be waking me up.
@Totalanimefan: Yaas girl.
Fuck him up.
"Oh those papers? No sorry. I'm filing for divorce. He can fuck off back across the pond."
Make sure you use a really bad British accent at the end there.
Adds to the drama.