Today's been a whirlwind of emotions and I nearly lost it today. I live in the downstairs suite of the house my father and step-mom (plus 2 step-brothers, a step-sister, 2 half-sisters and a half-brother, All under the age of 13 and I'm 23) and currently have the entire area to myself, but today I was told that tomorrow night I have to give up my living room to one of my step brothers and 2 of his friends for his birthday party tomorrow night because my step-mom doesn't want them being too loud and waking my 2 year old step brother. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, but tomorrow night I made plans to spend the night with my amazing partner (Sulley) which is now cancelled and I was really looking forward to it since I just got some part-time work at my universities farmers market and wanted to celebrate. My father and step mother came downstairs a few hours ago and told me which I found to be disrespectfully short notice. I expressed my frustrations to them but they only proceeded to get mad at me for "Making a fuss over one night." Once they left I punched the corner of my wall as hard as I could out of rage and cut my knuckle pretty bad. I couldn't control myself and just snapped because I was subsequently stressing my partner out at the same time and everything seemed to be ruined, I knew it was stupid but I just needed to get some of my anger out somehow. I've finally calmed down after realizing there was no hope in finding a way around this and just wanting to stop being angry and talking to my partner really helped and I couldn't be more thankful for her patience with me.
Normally I'm able to bottle my anger and just push it aside to focus on the silver linings but today I just couldn't do it again. Just curious what some of you think about this and what strategies you use to control your anger when it gets to a boiling point that you have to confront somehow. (If you got this far, thank you for listening to my crazy rant X3)
Forums General Chit-Chat How do you handle anger and stress? (Rant)
First of that sounds like my parents. They like to make last minute plas even if I already have them. Even when they know I got plans they still do it.
I've learned that being angry doesn't get you anywhere, since parents are not going to listen anyway. If I get really angry I will either listen to metal music or play Unreal Tournament so I can release my anger.
Metal. Just... jam out to metal. Headbanging and guttural singing is as cathartic as punching something.
@vengeance: Yeah they never take me into account when they make any sort of plan, but get really angry if I'm not willing to immediately drop my schedule to cater to them. I'm not going to stand for it unless I have absolutely no choice and if it inconveniences them then that's too bad for them. Although video games really help me when I'm angry, it makes them much less enjoyable and I can't get it out of my head. Music helps too, but metal usually makes me more angry from my experience XD
@Glume: Yeah I have tried to just blare metal music but it just doesn't seem to make the anger any less manageable unfortunately.
@Glume: Yeah I have tried to just blare metal music but it just doesn't seem to make the anger any less manageable unfortunately.
I've been dealing with anger for as long as I can remember, and I still haven't arrived at a reliable way of preventing or treating it.
I know for some people, acting on the aggression in a controlled environment helps. Screaming, punching, and otherwise pretending you're a reckless monster may do the trick. For others, crying can funnel anger out of you as tears.
Exercise is also an option. Walking, moving your body in ways you otherwise wouldn't, or engaging in any physical activity that isn't standard might give your body the ability to enforce your mind against whatever it's going through.
Finally, time heals all wounds, and serves as my primary salvation. Emotion is fleeting. If you can survive the temporary onslaught, you will be stronger for it as nothing - happy or sad - is eternal.
I know for some people, acting on the aggression in a controlled environment helps. Screaming, punching, and otherwise pretending you're a reckless monster may do the trick. For others, crying can funnel anger out of you as tears.
Exercise is also an option. Walking, moving your body in ways you otherwise wouldn't, or engaging in any physical activity that isn't standard might give your body the ability to enforce your mind against whatever it's going through.
Finally, time heals all wounds, and serves as my primary salvation. Emotion is fleeting. If you can survive the temporary onslaught, you will be stronger for it as nothing - happy or sad - is eternal.
Listen to music in headphones, or go outside for a bit to get away from what is making me angry, or go for a walk.
@JamJam: Maybe it was your technique. You've got to belt out the lyrics in an operatic fashion whilst thrashing your body around violently.
@Dowan: Those are all great points and I find exercise does help a bit. (when I'm motivated enough to do it) I think it just frustrates me the most when I'm backed into a corner and know there's no way I can change the situation in my favor at all and just have to accept my fate. Time does seem to be the only thing that is guaranteed to work, but I cant wait until me and my partner can move out and neither of us have to cater to our families like that again.
@Unicorn: I do sometimes just have to leave and take a walk, but when I get angry like that it's hard to just go out because I lose all motivation to do anything but find a way to improve things and just end up in a cycle of rage when nothing works and I'm stuck with it.
@Glume: I would love to just be able to yell out lyrics but because there's babies in the house it only makes things worse when I make too much noise and I'm considered the bad guy once again. Thrashing about does help sometimes but my mind just cant help but stay fixed on how angry I am.
@Unicorn: I do sometimes just have to leave and take a walk, but when I get angry like that it's hard to just go out because I lose all motivation to do anything but find a way to improve things and just end up in a cycle of rage when nothing works and I'm stuck with it.
@Glume: I would love to just be able to yell out lyrics but because there's babies in the house it only makes things worse when I make too much noise and I'm considered the bad guy once again. Thrashing about does help sometimes but my mind just cant help but stay fixed on how angry I am.
@JamJam: why doesn't your step-brother go to a friends house or do something else if your whole family isn't going to get together and celebrate his birthday? Sorry to ask and I am sorry to hear that
@Unicorn: Oh don't be sorry, but honestly that went through my mind so many times and just made me so much more frustrated because my family usually respects that down here is my space and just made the decision without me to give it to them for the whole night. They were up playing Fortnite till like 3:30am and yelling out dead memes driving me even more insane but I just stayed in my bedroom and didn't say a word the whole time.
@JamJam: your dad and step mom should have told you sooner I must agree it was rude of them on there part and I am sorry that your plans couldn't happen. If they wanted to play fortnight and be loud why not pitch a tent outside sleep outside and be loud?
@Unicorn: Yeah and honestly it would have been slightly annoying but fine if it wasn't the one night I had planned with my girl. (Sulley) Also yeah I was fantasizing about kicking them out at certain points of the night but I just wanted to get it over with and there was no point in making things worse than they already were. Just glad it's finally over and my knuckle is fairly healed! haha
@JamJam: you didn't need any stitches for your knuckle, now did you? It is great that it is over and thankfully it is healing. You should tell your parents that next time someone wants the living room for a night that they need to make sure you don't have any plans with your girl. And that you need a week advance.
@Unicorn: No I was fortunate not to mess it up that bad thank god lol. Also yeah I'm gonna have a chat with my dad the next time I see him that if this happens again I need at least a weeks notice if not more as well as some kind of reimbursement for having to sacrifice my personal space like that. Still upsets me though because my girl has been so busy with school and her own family that's it's really hard for us to plan times like this so I'm just hoping they understand that I need that time for my own sanity and happiness.
neko says; I end up crying. A lot. And kind of turning into a recluse, honestly. I don't deal with stress very well at all...
sell me rigs please♥
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
I learned to not punch things because, one time, I was so stressed, I punched a lamp, just to realise the bloody thing is made of iron.
Lamp 1 - 0 Tuijp
My shallow heart's the only thing thats beating
@JamJam: Jam out of the house. Bonus points if people look at you funny. If you have anger left, use it to fuel you to greatness. As a metal head I often run on pure anger. Embrace it and get to work!
(I just realized I'm telling JamJam to Jam. What a wonderful morning!)
(I just realized I'm telling JamJam to Jam. What a wonderful morning!)
@JamJam: I find that talking it out with someone really helps. When you are angry, you are kinda hyperfocused on the thing that is making you angry. Sometimes a third party can help you take a step back and see the bigger picture. I find that if I don't talk about it, it just kinda stews and boils for alot longer than it should.
Same with sadness honestly, keeping it inside hurts more and for longer. Best to address the problem as soon as you can.
Same with sadness honestly, keeping it inside hurts more and for longer. Best to address the problem as soon as you can.
Always ping me please.
@JamJam: that is also true, hopefully your girl and you can get together and hang for a bit.
If you can’t say something nice, Don’t say anything at all!
Anger?....
Curse randomly to vent frustration, and rant to my girlfriend.
Sometimes I'm stressed by something and I end up taking it out on her with snappy reactions when she tries to talk to me.
Which makes me angry at myself.
Other stress like anxiety...
I try to ignore it.
I spend a lot of time ignoring problems or future possibilities, hoping I'll forget they exist or that I'll eventually have to deal with them.
It really sours my enjoyment of anything I try to watch, like I have these things running in the back of my head the whole time I'm trying to brainwash myself with youtube shit.
Curse randomly to vent frustration, and rant to my girlfriend.
Sometimes I'm stressed by something and I end up taking it out on her with snappy reactions when she tries to talk to me.
Which makes me angry at myself.
Other stress like anxiety...
I try to ignore it.
I spend a lot of time ignoring problems or future possibilities, hoping I'll forget they exist or that I'll eventually have to deal with them.
It really sours my enjoyment of anything I try to watch, like I have these things running in the back of my head the whole time I'm trying to brainwash myself with youtube shit.
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.