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Forums Serious Talk Do you "shut down" when you're upset?

Voltie — alien Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/12 15:44:38 )
I suppose I've been doing it for years, but didn't really notice until it was brought up to me tonight. I didn't even realize I was upset, but I suppose I got upset somewhere along the line of today and completely "shut down". I feel almost emotionless. I can now feel that something is bothering me, since it was pointed out to me, but it's not really getting to me.

It's like a dream you're trying to remember after you wake up. I'm apparently speaking very robot-like and unemotionally, not like myself at all, and my responses are very monotone. I didn't realize I was still doing this, I realized that I did it in the past, but had no idea I was doing it to this day.

I'm not really sure why I do it, either, but I suppose it's got something to do with anxiety/depression and possibly childhood stuff.

Do any of you do this or do something similar? Or do you possibly have any ideas on what could cause this? I realize it's most likely a coping mechanism, but I can't really think of any specific reason I would have to use it as such.
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Voltie — Tenno Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/12 15:50:01 )
Yeah, I do it all the time honestly. I give up after a little bit, I don't even try anymore. Right now, I am doing it as we speak. So far, I've only told a few close friends about it. But that is all I'm going to do.
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Donator — Puzzling Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/12 20:51:57 )
Yup. I do that too. Walls go up and I just stay in my own little space.
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Voltie — Obnoxious Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/12 21:01:53 )
For me I tend to zone out and my tummy feels warm and heavy o.o lol
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Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/12 23:14:38 )
I go silent..Its more for myself...I don't like talking too much about me. I have moments where I complain and have a period of wanting to talk..but only when I'm pushed enough.
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Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/12 23:21:02 )
I was told I do this a while back, but I never realized it. My voice, if I'm talking, becomes emotionless or deadpan, and it's quite obvious I'm behaving differently. The strange thing is, it sometimes happens when I'm not upset or anything. Might have something to do with subconscious depression or anxiety, as you've said.
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Voltie — He/They Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/12 23:33:03 )
What you're describing sounds a lot like dissociation, a common symptom of mental illnesses. It's an awful thing to experience, but there are ways that can help!

I go through it as well, actually. When I'm upset sometimes it'll happen, though I have an emotional disorder, so usually it follows emotional outbursts and crying.
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Donator — nyan? Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/14 03:49:08 )
Kinda. I just want to sleep and be away from people. But my mom is one of those, "I'm going to bother you until you tell me what's wrong," types. It drives me nuts. And then she likes to tell me why I'm wrong for the way I feel. Ugh.
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Donator Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/14 03:50:42 )
I'm pretty shut down 24/7 but if I'm upset then I'm even more so. Yay for repression I guess?
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Voltie Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/14 17:58:46 )
i'd say i do, because for me it's better than the alternative, which is lashing out to the people who are closest to me.
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Voltie — Burnt Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/16 03:22:43 )
Yeeees, and my boyfriend hates it. I'm trying to work on it. But yeah I just start acting weird and don't want to be near anyone. Just want to be by myself though if my boyfriend finds me and holds me, I'll usually spill what's bugging me.
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Voltie — He/Him Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/26 01:11:37 )
I've kind of shut down before, yeah. One time when I was staring emotionlessly at my sister she asked me why I was looking at her as if she'd killed somebody, heh. I don't know. I'm not always like that. Though if things make me feel too emotional I honestly feel like I could throw up, I'm not sure why. Oh well. It's not like anything really matters. I don't know why I try sometimes.
Everything is Nothing and Nothing is Everything... isn't it...?
I don't...I don't want to think right now...

Maybe I'm just sleep deprived.
Sleep deprivation always messes my emotions up a lot.
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Donator — xe/they Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/29 03:52:16 )
I'm autistic, so yes; I shut down on a very regular basis, whether it's because I'm upset or because I'm overwhelmed. (or a mix of both)
I've gotten better at dealing with them though.
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Donator Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/09/29 05:34:59 )
I'm actually doing something akin to the "shutting down" right now? My sister dropped the bombshell that she's not getting married to the guy I disliked and didn't want her to marry--two days before the wedding--and I'm thrilled but also just emotionally spent.

Literally do not know how to handle myself at the moment.
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Voltie — She/They Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/10/5 03:37:18 )
@GaySpaceTrash: sometimes? but for me when i get really upset or anxious i notice that i go into one of three 'modes'

Angry - i yell and stomp and get really aggressive(which i dont like because i dont like being mean)

Sad - I get really quiet and just want to be by myself and sometimes just cry

or like you said...i shut down or basically for me i will fall asleep really easy and just zonk out for anywhere between 30 minutes to a couple of hours depending on how bad it is
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Admin — He/Him Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/10/5 03:40:32 )
Whenever I get upset, I completely shut down. I'd prefer to cut myself off from being social to avoid blowing up on someone or saying something I'd regret out of pure rage. BUT people can clearly tell I'm upset cause I'll be super quite or answer them with 3 or less syllables. :vanora_sad:
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Donator — Roleplayer Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/10/5 06:42:46 )
When I am usually upset over something, I don't shut up about it. I will keep complaining and complaining about how my life sucks, like when I have insomnia and can't sleep. I will tell how sad and pissed I am to everyone and say that I hate living. I need to talk about my problems so I probably annoy people with that.
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Voltie — She/Her Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/10/6 09:20:12 )
I can honestly understand this to a T. I used to feel such drastic emotions, and my feelings of numbness will be different from another's, it depends on how emotional they were from the get go. Let's just say i'm an extremely emotional person from the get go. haha
I don't know if this has happened to you, but let's say that after feeling so many surges of complex stinging emotions, all of a sudden I just "shut down."
I stop talking to majority of my friends, I stopped caring, and I used to be the "mom friend" of the group.
I have never been the one to talk about my feelings, and when I do it's usually serious (or I'm trying to relate to people like here) because of immense stress I put on myself. Because of this stress, I believe I am on "shut down" mode right now.

I think everyone who is going through this needs to hear this though: Don't stop going outside.

I say this because I did. I stopped going out. I didn't feel as if people were worth it, I felt as if I was a big fool. So, now I have severe vitamin d deficiency on top of other problems, plus people who were my friends are like strangers to me. But to be honest with you, they weren't the best friends anyways. LOL
There are so many things that could cause this, and it's different from person to person. There are different solutions for each person. Everyone goes through different things, but I can try to list a few things that may help just by seeing what you said?

Anxiety and depression is a HUGE factor in this. They could even be the culprits. But, it could also be the childhood issues. Heck, it could be everything intermingled and your anxiety just won't let you let go of it.

But I'm going to stop going on and on. LOL If you ever need to talk I'm always free to pm! I'm more than willing to listen.
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Donator — she, her Posted 7 years ago ( 2017/10/9 01:11:51 )
I get accused by my girlfriend of "shutting down" ALOT. I have PTSD, anything can trigger a complete shut down from me. If we are fighting or I think I'm in trouble, I unconsciously become "stone," I can hear whats being said to me, but I do not remember it. Apparently I become nearly unresponsive, and it takes someone to pull me out of it. It's nothing I do intentionally, and I am learning every time how to pull myself out if I feel myself falling into it.
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