I hate getting sick.
And I was dumb and stopped taking my antidepressants, and if I do, I get malaise as a withdrawal symptom, so that didn't help much coming right out of a cold.
I'm taking them again so I should improve.

And I just listened to the song. It's good. o:

I wanted to stop mine because I'm worried about once my body builds a tolerance.
And I don't want to be hitched to meds for the rest of my life. :c
But I need to retrain my brain to be more positive before I can go off of them.
(Or at least do weaning right and not just stop, lmao.)

That'd be good.
Depression is dumb.
And I found out mental illness wasn't exclusive to just my dad's side.
My mom's brother is bipolar (my aunt, his ex-wife, and my mom's best friend in high school, told me).
So yeah, my family passed on a broken brain to me. >:C

Also crushing on my co-worker and thinking he's cool and I'm a piece of shit doesn't help.
I could talk about that, but then I'd seem like a whiny baby, lmao.

He's got long hair. I call it "metal hair" since he's into metal and stuff, lmao.
He's into anime, too, DBZ and stuff like that.
He's pretty focused and serious on the job, and I've made a lot of effort to not disappoint him.
One cuz I like him, two cuz he knows what he's doing and I should listen to him.
He's going to a con in Detroit this Friday.

But I think he might like this girl that he used to work with. I dunno if she works at a different store (cuz I know he transferred only a couple months before I joined) or quit Pizza Hut. He's sweet on her and bought her a tattoo and was talking about taking her to Disney or something. And I don't think people just...do that, y'know? So he's either into her and she doesn't know, or something.

Then I get that downward spiral with my self-esteem cuz I'm like, "I'm not pretty."
I don't know if people see him as attractive. Like he went from looking like a nerd, to wearing contacts and having nice long hair.
So I'm just slowly trying to be his friend. I'm not gonna ask him what his number is, and I don't even really want to give it to him so he could contact me in the case of needing someone to come in. My number should be in the system, but I don't think it's something that easy to access?

He went ziplining the other day and told a few of us about it.

And I try to like. Well, better to do an example.
So he was opening a different store he's never worked at before on Monday, I think, and I told him I hoped it went well.
And I told him that if I didn't see him before he left for his con on Friday, that I hope it was good. (He said they usually are).
And one day I told him I liked his hair, so.

Yeah, cuz that doesn't happen a lot.
I guess I just liked his face a lot, lol.
Cuz even with OKCupid and stuff, I'm just like, not attracted to people immediately?
Or well, sure, attraction, but then you gotta talk to them, and then they're not really fun to talk to.

I say that even if nothing happens romantically, it'd be nice to be his friend.

Lots of shitty people to talk to...

hi Batsy how's it going?

Fetlife sounds like just the place weirdos would go, my dude.

I'm starving but I'm not sure what to eat.

yeah, I stopped going on there.

eat a big ol.... potato


@MoodyBats: maybe that would help? o: I'd do it if I could. lol