So to start this out I should explain that in our town a one bedroom apartment is about $900-$1050ish depending on which apartment you go with, and if you rent a room out of someone's house they usually charge about $700 all bills paid. So, my husband and I thought to be nice we would charge $300 a month to his brother and his brothers best friend that moved in... I might add that neither pay bills, pay for food, pay for laundry soap, pay for their shampoo or body wash or basically anything. We literally just ask for the $300 to help with rent.
Now my husband's brother knows this and is completely fine with it. My husband overheard the other roommate talking to his friend about how he thinks he is paying too much for rent... EVEN THOUGH THAT'S ALL HE PAYS! He eats literally all of the food, even what I buy for meals (has been a huge issue with me because how are you going to eat all of our food and act like that?) And it's ridiculous that we even buy his body wash and shampoo in my opinion... And he complained that buying soda was too much (we literally pay for everything and told them if they want soda they have to buy it themselves because we don't drink it so we won't be providing it) which really upset me...
So, this is my question... What should I do? Should I sit down and try to get him to understand that we are definitely not ripping him off? Should I tell him he needs to buy his own body wash and shampoo and laundry soap and food and what not? Should I just leave it be and wait and see if he moves out or doesn't pay his rent (Hubby will kick him out on the spot if he doesn't, that's how he is....) or should I just tell him that it's time to move on and that we will need the room or what? I'm super nonconfrontational so this has been making me sick I've stressed out so much.
TLDR; Roommate thinks he's being ripped off for paying $300 for rent and not having to buy food or shampoo or anything and it's really upsetting me and I don't know what I should do. What would be your advice?
Forums Serious Talk Roommate Problems...
Unfortunately some people are just inconsiderate and selfish. They don't even realize it. I've had roommates put me in similar situations. If it's to a point where it's stressing you out and actually negatively effecting you, it may be time to sit down with your husband and discuss options before confronting anyone. That way you can get a second opinion on how to handle it from someone who sees the situation and you have backup if you start to feel like you can't confront them. If all else fails, involve numbers. Add up your rent, electric, utilities, gas, grocery, toiletries, everything you pay for monthly. Show them the math. If facts don't show them how good of a deal they're getting staying with you, nothing will.
I hope this can be resolved peacefully and that you stop feeling so stressed sooner than later.
You gotta @Mention me.
It sounds like it's the brother's friend that's the problem, yeah?
Unfortunately, it seems that for a lot of people,
the better you treat them, the more they want to take advantage of you.
If they're already complaining that they're 'paying too much' when they're getting the deal of a lifetime, then they're not gonna react positively at all if you tell them they need to buy their own bathroom stuff/food.
Is the brother going to get upset if you ask his friend to leave?
Unfortunately, it seems that for a lot of people,
the better you treat them, the more they want to take advantage of you.
If they're already complaining that they're 'paying too much' when they're getting the deal of a lifetime, then they're not gonna react positively at all if you tell them they need to buy their own bathroom stuff/food.
Is the brother going to get upset if you ask his friend to leave?
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Join the Horde. We have bananas. 🍌
Join the Horde. We have bananas. 🍌
❝ @Ghostie: Unfortunately my husband just wants to wait it out because he said that "He will eventually either stop paying rent and I'll kick him out or he will leave if he feels so upset about it." so I guess I'll just wait... The first month he moved in (last month) he held out paying me rent until I was getting the money order to pay. So I told my husband he had to collect rent from now on. He was complaining the whole time about it too. I was just hurt.@Rallaa: At this point honestly I think that his brother is over it all... He's been avoiding his friend and kinda been hanging out with me and my husband which is upsetting the friend I think? I'm not sure... It's a complete mess but I don't think the brother cares either way? ❞
@MimikyuToo: That's really unfortunate that the guy is being a jerk. :<
I hope your husband is right and that he just leaves. Could save you guys some trouble. But no one should be uncomfortable in their own home, so I hope you aren't just waiting for too long.
You gotta @Mention me.
@MimikyuToo: I don't think you guys should make yourselves suffer until he decides to leave on his own.
Despite the fact he's complaining, he probably knows he's got a sweet deal.
Or even if he doesn't, he's gonna realize it if he actually *does* try to look for somewhere else to stay.
And then he's gonna stick around as long as he can, mooching every last bit that he can.
In my opinion, it'd be best to rip the bandage off ASAP.
You and your husband should tell him it's not working out, he's just not a good fit as a roommate, but you wish him the best.
Give him an ultimatum to be out by, and stick to it.
People like that, you give them an inch, and they'll take a mile.
My mom had to deal with someone like that.
She kept telling him she wanted him gone, and he kept dawdling about it.
Finally she just threw his shit on the porch while he was out, and locked the door on him,
And he tried to kick her door in.
Despite the fact he's complaining, he probably knows he's got a sweet deal.
Or even if he doesn't, he's gonna realize it if he actually *does* try to look for somewhere else to stay.
And then he's gonna stick around as long as he can, mooching every last bit that he can.
In my opinion, it'd be best to rip the bandage off ASAP.
You and your husband should tell him it's not working out, he's just not a good fit as a roommate, but you wish him the best.
Give him an ultimatum to be out by, and stick to it.
People like that, you give them an inch, and they'll take a mile.
My mom had to deal with someone like that.
She kept telling him she wanted him gone, and he kept dawdling about it.
Finally she just threw his shit on the porch while he was out, and locked the door on him,
And he tried to kick her door in.
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Join the Horde. We have bananas. 🍌
Join the Horde. We have bananas. 🍌
❝ @Ghostie: Honestly I just don't understand how he knows he isn't pitching in any for the bills (rent is 850 a month so we literally just split the rent into 3 parts) he knows we are spread thin paying for groceries, and he knows he doesn't really buy anything and still be like "Oh it's too much, I shouldn't be paying that much." it's more just frustrating for me because I'm the one at home and have to deal with it...@Rallaa: I think my husbands going to sit down and talk to him about it. You're right though, I'm sure the reason he hasn't left or anything yet is that he knows he's in a good spot. We know he can just leave when he wants because he eats dinners over at his parents when I don't cook (Which is why I think he started complaining because of the past while I haven't cooked.) It's a mess. I think I'm going to wait to see if he pays rent again, and if he puts it off like he did last month I'm going to tell him to quit complaining and live or get out. It's not like others wouldn't pay to stay ;n; ❞
@MimikyuToo: Yeah that's crazy. $300 is extremely affordable. My rent alone is $1500/mo and there's just two of us here paying it and it's really hard but we manage it and still can afford small luxuries. If he thinks $300 is too much, he's gonna have a really hard time being out on his own.
❝ @Ghostie: That's what we were saying honestly. It's just a mess. Then my husbands mother is throwing a fit because of some family stuff and it's just like... All of my issues would be solved if people just acted logically and their age. -sighs- But rent is due soon. If he doesn't pay it we will be giving him x amount of days for him to leave. ❞ You gotta @Mention me.
@MimikyuToo: I hope you get it worked out soon so you don't have to deal with the fool.
Cute post art, by the way.
Cute post art, by the way.
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Join the Horde. We have bananas. 🍌
Join the Horde. We have bananas. 🍌
❝ @Rallaa: Thank you, really. And @Kaybit: did the art for me ;u; @Ghostie: Thank you very much~!
@SirLionelNigelConrad: That's what I'm really nervous about. We don't really have a signed contract, which is why I've been looking into state laws today. For the most part, it says I have to give him 30 days to leave. I'm hoping to find more about it. Just so I'll be ready for anything. I wanted to get a signed contract and make receipts for rent but my husband said it wouldn't be needed. Turns out we might have needed to. ❞
I'd put his ass out on the street. lol! I'm sorry, but no matter what kind of hard times my friends and relatives fall down on, I will never let them live with me, because this is exactly what happens. They take advantage of you and then play the victim. I've seen it happen too often to other people to ever let that happen to me! My brother let his girlfriend's son move in with them "for a month" and he almost couldn't get rid of the guy. He ate everything in the fridge and never offered a dime. And my brother was too nice to kick him out until money started disappearing from his wallet.
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.