Does Christmas mean the same to you as It did when you were a child?

Kirrai

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To me, every year there is more arguments, less family, more stress and I find I'm not able to enjoy it like I use to.
I put on an act for family (mainly my younger brothers).

To me, Christmas meant family.

I'm not just referring to family passing away, but to family whom have moved away or family that decided to avoid the chaos and spend it with friends.

I guess all the stress and being depressed around Christmas is wearing me down.

I don't want to end up a Grinch for when I have kids :(

What about you?
(On a side note, do you have any family traditions around Christmas?)

If you don't celebrate Christmas, what do you look forward to this time of year? Do you have any other traditions?

Tuijp

Friend PM Trade

We’ll carry on

As a kid, we (my parents, brother and me) would go to my grandmother and celebrate it with her, my 6 uncles and their kids (they all had at least 2 kids and a bunch were in relationships) and sometimes the exes of an uncle (and their new relationships).

Grandmother passed away when I was 15, my father when I was 8, of the 6 uncles only 2 are still alive (and it's pretty much war with 1 of them) and my mother passed away last year.

So aI will most likely celebrate it with my best friends Ben, Jerry and Jack Daniels.
Maybe a war movie, because hunting nazi's makes me happy.

sunny

Friend PM Trade

It isn't really the same for me now. I guess it's just a symptom of growing up. For me Christmas is still a Whole Thing because it's my birthday too, so I don't really have any other things to get excited about rest of the year.

Kirrai

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@Tuijp: It must have been nice growing up with such a large family? At least while it lasted?

I hope you have a great Nazi-Hunting holiday ^^ (It could be your new tradition with your friends)

@sunny: Maybe that's just what I'm neglecting to face, the whole growing up thing. Idk.
When is your birthday? Is it Christmas day? That's pretty cool to have it around Christmas :D
(My youngest brother, his birthday is the 23rd of Dec and he thinks it's the coolest thing).

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(It occurred to me this might be better in the Serious Talk Forum, my bad)

Tuijp

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We’ll carry on

@Kirrai: one of the original owners of Ben&Jerry's ice cream was a Jew, so I bet he would've liked it too.

And it was nice until I noticed all the drama.

/moves thread

sunny

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@Kirrai: my birthday is the 27th :) it's kind of a drag because a lot of people forget my birthday what with all the Christmas celebrations etc. I tend to not make a big deal about my birthday, I guess because I'm older now.

currently: new novel who dis?

q u e s t i n g :
beanie doll! thank u cookie

Saeyra

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I used to spend every Christmas with my family. I used to think they were dull and rather boring because it was always the same every year. And as our family dwindled I had less and less people to talk to during them. I used to only attend for the presents and even then I would judge every present. Now spending Christmas with them is close to a pipe dream considering the distance involved and I don't even know when the next Christmas with them will be. Presents matter less to me now compared to the people I spend it with.

Sabrina

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My mom died in June so this will be my first year without her Christmas was such a huge deal to her we decorated. Watched Christmas movies. Made cookies like everything it was my favorite time of the year because of how passionate she was about it. I have two littles to play santa for but I know this year will probably be my hardest..

✝ Sabℜina ✝

Mousy

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The main thing that's frustrating now about christmas is that I can't give like my sister can. I chose a less lucrative career path. I know that the gift doesn't matter, but it's like I'm buying each of them a few little things and that's stretching it and she's taking them on vacation. Literally- Vegas this year. I know that they know and that they aren't upset or judging or anything. It just stinks because I want to do those nice things for them too and I just can't.

I do get judged on what I get for my son though. If I tell a family member what all he gets, there is usually a pause and then a "That's it?" YEAH, that's it. He's got a ton of toys (2 toy boxes full) and a ton of clothes. You don't live here. You don't pick up after this toddler tornado. He really doesn't need much. I'll probably get him more books than toys this year because his favorite thing in the world is curling up next to me and reading a book together.

This year has been better than others though, because my son understands a little more and is excited about Christmas. He's 2.5 and he gets so happy when he sees a Christmas tree or anything holiday related. His favorite show is the Christmas episode of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

It's just different now and that's fine. I just have to learn to shrug some things off. XD

Please ping! I get distracted easily.

Tuijp

Friend PM Trade

We’ll carry on

@SirLionelNigelConrad: go live in a small town. We still smile at each other and say hey.

Tuijp

Friend PM Trade

We’ll carry on

@SirLionelNigelConrad: sure. Pretty sure there are houses around.
And most people here can understand and speak English.

Millet

Friend PM Trade

Millet, spilling the tea:

Due to my own subjective circumstances...I prefer Christmas now than I did as a child.
It has more meaning and warm feelings now, than it ever has before. And I think it'll feel even
more enamoring when I either produce or adopt a kiddo of my own someday.

The only infuriating thing to me is fellow adult friends and family insisting on gift exchanges.
I love shopping for kids, and I'll do things for my friends birthday's....but Christmas is ALREADY
so bloody expensive. My fiance and I completely and whole heartedly agree we don't get eachother
Christmas gifts. We'll go get a nice bite to eat together. A date for us some time in December.
But the friends aunts uncles and whatevers of wanting to gift exchange. x.x just go take the
money you were gonna spend on me and just get yourself something you want. I don't wanna
have to think and stress on it, and produce a gift not as good as the other.

"It's the thought that counts" genuinely applies to very few people at least in my experience.
A $2 bird statue from the dollar store gets me excited. But my friends hint and prod and pass me
lists with high double digits, early triple digits and
THEY AINT MY KIDS WHY IS THIS A THING. WHY DO I NEED TO GET EVERYONE GIFTS, AND
IF I DONT I LOOK LIKE A STINGEY GRINCH. Let me spoil children and no one else please. I hate the looming
obligation. It's not simple as "Just don't do it." Social Constructs, man. (I am intentionally speaking over dramatic.)

"Do you want my christmas list?" NO! I DONT! You're 30, I love you as a friend but I got a little sister in poverty and 3 god children.
@_@;

Selikait

Friend PM Trade

Christmas definitely changed after I went to college and started becoming an adult. I really don't like the holiday anymore, but I find that's hard to admit to most people since a lot are obsessed with it. The money spent on items that will never be used (which is my other sore spot) kills me. I live paycheck to paycheck so I don't have a couple hundred dollars to throw away on a day. I'm not against buying gifts for people (if I have the money), but I don't like being forced to. I've tried modifying our gift giving within the family last year, trying to save everyone time, money, and stress. It didn't go over well. I am not looking forward to this Christmas.

Feel free to ping me. I'm forgetful.
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FUZZY

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it has changed a lot over the years after getting older, it just doesn't seem to be the same to me. I mostly only ask for things I need in general. or stuf that my little unicorn need or might want aka my daughter. other than that it just isn't the same for I. I used to see a lot of family, but over the years it has calmed down a lot since.

If you can’t say something nice, Don’t say anything at all!

Rayon Declaire

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I have to say that I have a much more clear view of how christmas actually is as opposed to seeing through rose-colored glasses as a kid. When I was young christmas was always a joy, especially because my grandmother was alive. Maybe it;s because of her that everyone got along. Since she has died, everyones true colors have come to the surface and the family is like a fragmental mess. Noone gives two shits about anyone. And even the simplest of requests seem like the removal of a limb. :/ This year I will be celebrating with my husband and I don't plan to go to anyone's house except maybe on boxing day because a friend of the family (who I consider more family than my actual blood relatives;; sad) will be holding a get together. That and the fact that it's most unlikley to face my grandfather since they dont get along. LOL.

Rayon Declaire

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SirLionelNigelConrad:
I think the one thing really missing now is the idea of kindness and compassion. Everyone is so eager to jump at you for pointless things and the concept of finding peace and understanding isn't like it used to be.

Maybe when you see kids it feels more like the Christmas spirit? Is that the idea? Around kids you can live the spirit of the holiday but with adults it's all humbug?

Even with strangers it feels like there is so much hate for no reason. People used to smile at each other walking in the stores. Now it's avoid eye contact with everyone and snear. So many people report the same thing. It's like we have lost something dear.

The magic is gone because no one believes anymore. They pretend for the children but in their heart they are filled with contempt. Hatred consumes all. I hope some can find peace and happiness in this holiday, as it should be.

I couldn't have put it better myself. Though, this is how it seems all year round.

Rayon Declaire

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Tuijp:

As a kid, we (my parents, brother and me) would go to my grandmother and celebrate it with her, my 6 uncles and their kids (they all had at least 2 kids and a bunch were in relationships) and sometimes the exes of an uncle (and their new relationships).

Grandmother passed away when I was 15, my father when I was 8, of the 6 uncles only 2 are still alive (and it's pretty much war with 1 of them) and my mother passed away last year.

So aI will most likely celebrate it with my best friends Ben, Jerry and Jack Daniels.
Maybe a war movie, because hunting nazi's makes me happy.

I'm so sorry to hear all of the passings.. Your family seems much like mine in some ways. Hopefully you can enjoy a few christmas movies to take your mind off of things.. ; v ; *spreads stardust to try for a smile*

Ping me if needed

I do pixels. check my shop

Alyssya

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☃︎
Things haven't taken too drastic of a turn for me when it comes to Christmas, but it does feel a lot different. After we moved the holiday developed into something really close nit for my family, and it really only includes the members that I live with. Due to circumstance or just life happening I really don't have too deep of a relationship with anyone outside of my home. We send the time together watching movies, cooking, decorating, and exchanging small gifts. It is really kind of charming....definitely not as exciting as it was when I was a kid. It still manages to have that warm sort of charm that I really enjoy....but I dislike going out to shops....I just can't handle any of it...and I never feel like I manage to get my moneys worth. So I have resorted to either smaller gifts, homemade ones, or just buying something thoughtful way early in the year....also I have a very limited amount of people to shop for.

Kirrai

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@Tuijp: I have to admit, I didn't realize you were referring to the ice-cream >.<'
Is there anyone you could spend the holidays with?

How old do you think you were when you noticed?
I think I was quite oblivious until I was around 15.

(Thank you for moving this~)
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@sunny: That's sad that people tend to forget, but people do get obsessed with Christmas i guess.

(I also have a niece who's birthday is the 5th of December, my older sister the 9th, my mother the 18th then my little brother which I mentioned and all rounded off with another brothers birthday on the 4th of January. I couldn't forget birthdays even if I tried)
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@xirin: Presents were also a plus, especially as a kid as you tend not to notice fighting and mortality.
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@SirLionelNigelConrad: I feel you hit the nail over the head with that statement. Honestly, it's just going to get worse rather then better.

I don't think it's as bad as that, but I do feel like it's all about the presents (Especially to the millennials) rather then the spirit of Christmas.
People also tend to get wrapped up in there own bubbles, all about the outcome not the journey kind of thing.
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@Saeyra: It's nice to see we appreciate family more the older we get <3
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@Sabrina: I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, I can't imagine how hard going through that is, or how hard these holidays will be.
(Maybe think of it like she handed you the Baton and would like you to make Christmas special -in your own way- for your children and yourself?)
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@Mousy: I fully understand how frustrating that is. I'm in a similar situation with my older sister and it's not just in regards to Christmas, it's birthdays too. She purchases extravagant things our younger brothers and I'll just get them something they need rather then want (and within my budget) and compared to the two gifts, mine will end up looking pathetic.

It's Definitely a good idea to just shrug comments like that off. You know better then anyone what your son needs and no-one else really should judge you on that.
Your son is going to grow up appreciating what he gets ^^

So cute! I can imagine you'll be watching it quite a few times over the holidays then?
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@Millet: Wait, what? Who creates a List like that? That's incredibly rude, Not everyone has the same finances.
People like that, just tell them you only buy gifts for Children.

...So many people who think they're "Entitled" in the world... -sigh-
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@Selikait: How did you try to modify it? What went wrong?

How do you think your family would feel if you told them how you felt?
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@Unicorn: Do you think it was just because you were getting older that it just didn't seem the same?
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@Rayon Declaire: Sounds like your Grandmother was also the glue to your family?
You and your Husband can start your own Christmas traditions void of the chaos ^^
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@Alyssya: That sounds like a lovely and peaceful Christmas, I'd look forward to Christmas if that was how my family spent it.

Every year things become more pricey, or is that just me?
(Even Christmas decorations...)

I prefer shopping early, because it gets incredibly busy the closer to Christmas and the last time I went to a crazy busy shop people were incredibly rude, I was trapped in a crowded Isle and was on the verge of a panic-attack.

I don't think everyone appreciates home-made gifts. But to me, they're the best kind of gift <3
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Saeyra

Friend PM Trade

@Kirrai: Yeah as you get older you find that the most precious currency is time. Time with your family, time to yourself, time to learn and time to earn. Its probably one of the hardest lessons to teach children but its so important.

Always ping me please.

Forums Serious Talk Does Christmas mean the same to you as It did when you were a child?

Kirrai

Tuijp

sunny

Kirrai

Tuijp

sunny

Saeyra

Sabrina

Mousy

Tuijp

Tuijp

Millet

Selikait

FUZZY

Rayon Declaire

Rayon Declaire

Rayon Declaire

Alyssya

Kirrai

Saeyra

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