Having Children. - Voltra Online

Seionshi

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I had a complete hysterectomy at twenty-one due to endometriosis. I can't have children, and I've never wanted them. Even as a young girl and teenager, then into "being an adult", this has never changed. I don't like children, I feel awkward around them, I think they're annoying, messy, and ungrateful, and I'm far too selfish to want to spend money on them.

Plus, I feel like the world is declining far too much to bring a child into it- I would never want to leave my child to grow up in what this world is becoming. Also, childbirth and pregnancy are just creepy and a little disgusting to me. I feel like it's something growing in your body--- which we usually think is a bad thing-- so why should this be a good thing?

I'm not trying to insult anyone, and I have a lot of respect for (good) mothers. Y'all work hard and do something I can never do, and I'll always respect you for that.

However, those of you who have children or want children- can you explain why you do/why you're happy you had them? I just honestly am so confused about this, and I'd love to get people's opinions/views.

Rallaa

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You gotta @Mention me.

@Gay Space Trash: I don't like kids either.
I joke that it's because the rugrats would always knock my blocks over in preschool.
I could never build my towers back as good as they were before.

I don't wanna have kids, but even if I did want to, I'm not capable of caring for a child.
Neither financially or responsibility-wise.
I barely take care of myself.

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anrifay

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I think babies are scary as hell!

They are creepy, make weird noises and can break far too easily...
I mean, look at that and try to convince me that this is cute...

Plus the whole fact that those little creeps learn to scream just to make a personal slave out of you...
...
P.S. I do relate with all you've said... especially the part about bringing an offspring into an overpopulated crumbling world.

Turtle Sensei

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@Gay Space Trash: First off, I adore your username. Second, I am unable to have kids. I'm infertile, but even if I weren't I don't think I'd have them because my health is so messed up. I wouldn't want to pass my health issues to my kids. My husband agrees on this, and while we both would love to have children, maybe even adopt, we know that with our health issues it wouldn't be fair to a child.

Glume

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I never wanted kids until I met my husband. I happen to think the best parts of him plus the best parts of me would make probably the coolest person around... and that coolest person would automatically be our best friend.

Ping me, Devil Daddy, ping me.

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Turtle Sensei

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@Glume: that is an adorable mentality to have!

:plasma-orb:

PLEASE ALWAYS PING ME! I'M OFTEN STONED AND FORGETFUL!

:plasma-orb:

Saeyra

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@Glume: Thats a really good way of explaining it. Ready player 3!

One of the ways I think about it is. I am not gonna live forever and neither is my husband. One of us is gonna die before the other and we are gonna need someone to hold on to. A piece of us to survive and live on. I just know if my husband died before we had a kid together it would probably be my biggest regret. It might be a selfish reason to have a kid but its really hard to not be selfish about something that doesn't exist yet.

Little Crane

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To have one, it would require an invasion of my privacy and body, neither of which I wish for. Crying, especially that of young children, hurts my head, and their general cacophony is an immediate headache. I stop functioning properly if I do not have time in silence to rest and relax, and a child would mean giving it up for many years, if I would ever get it back.

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Selaphi

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I like them & want to have one of my own. Why? I guess I'm not entirely sure. I just feel it in my gut that it's something I want to do.

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Saeyra

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@SirLionelNigelConrad: I actually didn't know it was so common until I joined Voltra, there was another similar thread before this and I think it was 50/50 split or more on the side of no babies. I used to think everyone just grew up and had babies but I think it has alot to do with how happy you and your partner are with your situation and the situation of the world. If people don't feel secure or content they won't reproduce. Thats how I see it anyway.

Saeyra

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@SirLionelNigelConrad: I don't think that is it at all because there are men who don't want kids either.

onsenmark

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I think I might want kids, but I'm realistic; I'm certain I could never afford to take care of a child(let alone get married or even date!), and at my age, I'd be afraid of whatever might pop up once said theoretical child is born.

Older kids are okay, but kids in general? Not really for me, thanks.

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Saeyra

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@SirLionelNigelConrad: Well if you trick a guy into getting you pregnant when he doesn't want kids then thats how you get fathers who leave.

Saeyra

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@SirLionelNigelConrad: Yeah its not a very nice thing to do to a guy. Its basically taking advantage of his trust and that can hurt a relationship. Which will in turn hurt the home as a whole. Basically treat each other with love and respect so that less kids are born in broken homes. You can't predict if the dad is gonna stay but you can raise the chances by being a good human being and giving him a home he won't want to leave.

Always ping me please.

Seionshi

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@SirLionelNigelConrad: I definitely do not have a obligation to humanity.
I also don't think that more women not wanting children is what's become "popular", nor do I think most women view it as "rebelling". Plenty of women haven't wanted kids throughout time, and they weren't all following a trend or veiwing it as rebelling against anything/anyone.

Some women don't have the maternal instinct, some are afraid of hurting someone, some simply don't want to deal with a tumor for nine months, and eighteen years.

The world is overpopulated as it is, so I don't think that there's really any downside to less women having children. There are plenty of women out there who still want kids and are having them.

And plenty of kids who grew up without fathers are doing just fine, thank you. (Like me.) Having a father does not mean kids will grow up better. Sometimes having the father stick around is worse, actually. And what about lesbian couples? Saying that is completely ruling them out.

Captain Crackers

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I have two kids. My youngest just turned 2. Im a bit of a special case. Ever since i was little, i knew i wanted kids. I knew i wanted at least 2 because i was an only child. I know its so cliche, but all i ever wanted out of life is get married and have kids. I met my husband, and when i first held my oldest daughter, i KNEW my life was complete. When i first held my youngest, i knew i didnt need anything else. I dont know why this was my lifes dream. They drive my nuts, i love them, they are good kids. I really got lucky so i would give advice but i really dont think i am a good person to ask

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Shadami

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Probably coming to this party a little late but the thread caught my attention and I decided to try to answer your question to the best of my ability.

For me personally, having children was the only thing that I have ever in my entire life been sure of as something I wanted. Some people say "I want to be an astronaut, a police officer, a teacher, a librarian. I want to be rich, have a big house ect." and I was constantly asked the question "what do you want to be when you grow up." The only answer that I could ever come up with every time was "I want to be a mom."

It made no sense. I beat myself up over the question trying to figure out why I was different from everyone else. Why I couldn't decide how I wanted to earn money in life, why I didn't know where I even wanted to live or go to college. The only thing set in stone was that I was going to be a mom some day. I still don't have a proper job. I stream occasionally, I write books that I haven't quite gotten published but they're in progress and will be one day, I paint, I do computer graphics, I have many creative outlets but none of the steady income. But what I do have is my third pregnancy, and two happy healthy children already.

So to answer the question:

Gay Space Trash:
can you explain why you do/why you're happy you had them? I just honestly am so confused about this, and I'd love to get people's opinions/views.

The answer is just simply. "That's who I am." I don't think there's anything really more complicated than that.

holyghost

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I actually was against children most of my life. It wasn't until recently that i wanted to conceive. I had a pretty bad upbringing and the way I look at it is that when i am ready and my husband is ready. I'd really like to try my best to give someone i brought into this world the best life as i possibly can. both emotionally, financially etc. etc.

It's something extremely important to me. Though i'd never, ever knock NOT wanting kids. it's a large and hard commitment.

I feel like my reasoning's are somewhat selfish, and not at all unique. However, this choice is mine and my husbands. and one we discussed and are planning.

Eldweena

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I have always felt that way myself. There's a lot of pressure on women to make babies. I can't think of anything more unpleasant than having a thing growing inside and then spending a fortune and all my time and energy to raise it for 30 years. (What kid actually moves out at 18 anymore? Ugh.)

I'm married to a woman anyway, but I'm also nearly past my childbearing years. And STILL my mother and mother-in-law make comments about "when" I "have kids some day..." or "when will I get a grandchild from you?" Pukes me out, man. Just recently I was having dinner with my family and my brother has a new baby, and he (my nephew) crapped his diaper and my dad told me to change it. I said hell no! And my mom said, "You need the practice." I was like, "FOR WHAT?" The table got very quiet. I think sometimes they forget just how old I am. hahahaha

I never did like kids. I do feel a lot of affection for my new nephew and it's exciting that there's a new addition to the family. I do feel that, and I'm excited to spoil him on his birthday. But I won't ever have to worry about waking him for school, bathing him and brushing his teeth, helping with homework, and paying for his education. I am just really grateful that my life is my own. Except now I'm going to be worried about school bullies and school shootings and the future of this polluted, violent planet on his behalf...

Shadami

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@Eldweena: that last bit especially. God's yes. It's rather sad that those things are so prominent right now. :(

As for you and everyone else that I've been hearing lately who have been bugged to "have children because it's your duty".... My God no it's not! Congratulations on living life how you want to. :) I am perfectly content being a mom but I sure as heck would never tell someone else they have to be too. It's a flipping hard job and not for everyone.

Besides, isn't the world complaining of over population? What's wrong with some people being content to just live their lives and not bring another on this Earth. Eh. I'm rambling on. I just say good on you for being true to you, that's the main point.

Currently recovering from large amounts of PTSD. I'll post when I can, please ping for replies. Things are very difficult for me right now.

Forums Serious Talk Having Children.

Seionshi

Rallaa

anrifay

Turtle Sensei

Glume

Turtle Sensei

Saeyra

Little Crane

Selaphi

Saeyra

Saeyra

onsenmark

Saeyra

Saeyra

Seionshi

Captain Crackers

Shadami

holyghost

Eldweena

Shadami

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