Better Sibling Interactions

Alyssya

Friend PM Trade

❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️

Basically looking for advice

I am the eldest of 3 girls, and interactions like

When helping my youngest sister with her homework, distractions abound, she will tip off and not be back for 10 minute stints at a time if not more if I don't seek her out and remind her of the task at hand. She is 8 smart and lazy, she will ask for help when it isn't truly required....I am not sure if it is a bid to spend time with me or what. But anyway today was a bit of a challenge with her being extra dramatic about the smallest of injuries, and distractions, and mysterious disappearances. Between reminding her of her homework and her getting pouty and overly dramatic when I corrected her our middle sister chimed in "Just let her fail, you've told her twenty times to do her homework, she isn't going to do it on the twenty-first time. Just let her fail, and mom will yell at her cause she obviously doesn't care about her homework." She said this after hearing one of our squabbles.

are fairly common she tends to come off as prickly to our youngest sister...I mean I have caught her saying that she is mean to her and she doesn't like the way she treats her, or that she hates her. In all honesty I am not sure that I would be good friends with her if we weren't related. I am not really sure what I can do to help them get along better. The middle one has little patience for the youngest, she can take a type of tone with her too. I am just at my wits end as to what to do about them. I know I can't force it but there has to be something to take off the middle ones edge.

Saeyra

Friend PM Trade

@Alyssya: I am the middle of 3 sisters. While I never had this exact problem I think you should go watch a movie or do an activity that you all enjoy and can bond over. Find the things that transcend the age difference. (for us it was disney and books) Share your hobbies with each other and try things together. Anytime we are fangirling over something we aren't fighting. Living with people will automatically create friction (especially siblings who aren't always born compatible) but this common ground will stay with you guys for the rest of your lives and bring you back together even when you are older.

Alyssya

Friend PM Trade

❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️

@sirlionelnigelconrad: I think this is a conversation I will have to save for when things are a little less hectic. I will bring it up tho and thanks for your input as well. This isn't something that Mother hasn't noticed....but the conversations tend to only crawl along....not sure how to get them progressing past the typical results.

@Saeyra: This is something we do, but I feel like perhaps we need a few more things we can bond over as a group of three. I can cook with either of them, but both of them in the kitchen with me tends to end with the youngest feeling bad. It is like no matter what we do as a trio eventually the middle one will do or say something to kill the vibe. I can bond with them one on one just fine most of the time. I feel like the buffer in between them really XD.

Saeyra

Friend PM Trade

@Alyssya: Maybe have an honest talk with the middle one and tell her how she is really sharp with her words and tell her how it makes other people feel because maybe she might not know it. Tell her you guys are stuck together for the forseeable future and it would be more bearable for everyone if she would make a little bit of an effort to be nice to the little one. Tell her you understand the youngest can really get on the nerves because of their young age but its gonna get better when she gets older. Tell her you are also there to vent to about the little one instead of taking it out on her.

On the other hand you gotta not spoil the youngest and try to teach her to be more mature so the age difference isn't so problematic. Its gonna get easier with time as the youngest catches up but I understand what you are going through man.

These things are not gonna change overnight but with a little bit of habitual training I think you can alleviate abit of the pressure. Maybe give the middle one a look or something when she is being mean. Unfortunately you gotta be consistent to get her out of it.

Turtle Sensei

Friend PM Trade

@Alyssya: the youngest does sound rather bored with her homework, is it maybe to easy for her? talk to her and your parents about having the school test her to see if maybe she's just bored. It could also be ADHD.

As for the middle sister, it sounds like she's just a cynical kid. some people are like that, just be there to mediate and assure the youngest she doesn't hate her, it's just how she is. Or she could also be going through some depression, maybe talk to her and ask her how she's doing?

Alyssya

Friend PM Trade

❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️

@Saeyra: We have talked about it before, it does seem to help...but I think consistent reminders may also assist her with how she decides to talk to the youngest. Lately she has been making an effort to tell her that she loves her...but I don't really know if it helps. I mean it is nice for her to do that but at the same time I don't want the youngest to think that it excuses her harsh language. I will try talking with both as you said keeping the things you mentioned in mind.

@Turtle Sensei: Honestly I think it could be a lot of different things. I did have a talk with her about it and it turned out she was avoiding it out of fear of failing the assignment. I think I have to talk to her about that....but I am not sure how just yet. I don't want her scared to fail, but at the same time I don't want her unwilling to try her best. As for the ADHD, she is normal was screened some time ago.

As for the middle one, stressed a little yea, cynical...very likely. Not depressed at the moment, we have talked about that. I will try and mediate with her more tho.

Turtle Sensei

Friend PM Trade

@Alyssya: you're an amazing older sibling! Glad you're willing to discuss these things with them!

Alyssya

Friend PM Trade

❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️
@Turtle sensei: Aww, thanks that is nice of you to say. It means a lot too...so thanks

Turtle Sensei

Friend PM Trade

@Alyssya: you're very welcome! Oh and I forgot to say this in the other thread, but I like your avi as well!

:plasma-orb:

PLEASE ALWAYS PING ME! I'M OFTEN STONED AND FORGETFUL!

:plasma-orb:

Saeyra

Friend PM Trade

@Alyssya: Aww thats good! She listens to you! Might be harder when she gets to teenage years and then listens to nobody haha. I think a good exercise is asking her how the little one is feeling. Just a simple question like that will really make her think and try to understand the little one more or maybe get her to ask the little one and learn from her responses. I think it will also help her empathize with other people when she gets older. Good luck with everything!

Always ping me please.

Eldweena

Friend PM Trade

You'll grow out of things when you get older. My brothers and I had our fair share of verbal and physical altercations and we'd say we hated each other and that kind of thing that kids do. We're all in our thirties now and very close friends who actually get together and hang out and have a good time (when we have the time). Kids fight. That's just how it is. lol

Alyssya

Friend PM Trade

❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️☃︎❄️
@Eldweena: Thanks for your reassurance, it will be nice to see them get to that point lol. I am glad that it turned out so well for you and yours tho!

Forums Serious Talk Better Sibling Interactions

Alyssya

Saeyra

Alyssya

Saeyra

Turtle Sensei

Alyssya

Turtle Sensei

Alyssya

Turtle Sensei

Saeyra

Eldweena

Alyssya

You must be logged in to post