Welcome to Malwart (Walk-in rp)

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[[Walk in Rp/ Comedy/ Horror/ Fantasy/ Surreal/ Slice of Life]]

Welcome to Malwart, where we sell items from every known dimension for somewhat unbeatable prices!

Enjoy the summer rollback sale, where you can purchase inter dimensional, soul sprouts for a limited offer of 99 cents a bag! Enjoy the fresh crunch and the distant cries of agony in every bite!

Looking for a bold new style? Malwart has all you need for a trendsetting, back to school look with our Chupacabra Leather Book bags, made from real, quality Chupacabras!

Need a mothers day gift this year, but unsure of what to get? Try a Vampire Bloodstone set, now 50% off!
That comes with earrings, a ring, and a protective amulet to ward off the inevitable torment of lost spirits!

Make sure to check back weekly for new sales and pocket dimensions containing new product!
Our store is always expanding beyond the reaches of time and space.

Malwart has everything you need and more, for less!

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[[Rules n Stuff]]

- Hey, hi, hello! So, as you've read from the first post, this is a silly, slice of life kinda rp with horror and fantasy elements and such.
There is, of course room, for characters and such to adapt their own little stories within the realm, since I intend for this to be a world where legitimately anything can happen. Imagine a Walmart that works similarly to Hogwarts. Weird shit abounds in every corner, but like, x100.
Elves living in the shelves, monsters in the freezers, ancient catacombs in the furniture department, many ways to die horribly, the list goes on.

- So, the usual rules, follow ToS

- Not a requirement to join, but I'll pop a pic of your character and their name in either the Customer or Employee sections (or both!) if you send me a name and the pic you're using.

- Probably won't be using an real life faceclaims of any sort of this.

- Feel free to make your characters any species you want. Hell, you can even make a species up!

- Rules subject to change as needed.

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[[Customer Characters]]

At Malwart, we like to show our valued customers just how much we truly value you!
Sign you soul away with our new loyalty program! Earn new blessings with every 100 purchases, and buy your way to immortality!

- Lucy Webstar
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[[Employee Characters]]

Looking for career opportunities near you? Try your local Malwart!
Build character, meet new beings, and take advantage of our incredible incentive program!
Plus, we offer amazing benefits. Health care, dental, paid vacations after a millennia of service, free exorcisms, and company outings!

Malwart is an equal opportunity employer, and we ask that you treat other beings, entities and eldritch horrors with respect!

- Mr./Ms. Obstructus - Head of H.R. Department
- Tija Cosmodaeus - Customer Experience Salesfloor Associate
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All employee submitted applications will be overseen by the Council of Void, and contracts are soul binding unless stated otherwise.

After a certain number of unexcused tardies and absences, the Council will discuss whether or not this is grounds for termination.
Theft of any kind, vandalism, desecration, murder, rebellion against the Corporate Giants of Old are grounds for immediate termination. You will be asked to submit a letter of resignation, return your uniform and name tag, and you will be sent the pits of torment. Your ashes will be returned home to your family, as well as your final pay cheque.

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Reserved for future use probably.

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Reserved for future use probably.

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Reserved for future probably.

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Tija
Customer Experience Salesfloor Associate

The store was not unusually calm, aside from Tija and another employee who had got into a disagreement over the particulars of folding. She and her employee stood adjacent from each other in the clothing section.

Tija floated in place, arms crossed with eyes focused sternly on the heap of tentecles in a blue vest standing in front of her.
Next to them, was a third figure. A mediator of sorts, or at least they should have been, but so far Tija wasn't seeing the results she had hoped for when she called for HR to help sort the issue.

"...For the last time, you can't just fold things any old way! There's a method! Specifics! Haven't you been paying attention to the training videos we had you watch? gods, it's like talking to a wall." Tija said with a huff, her ethereal glow darkening the more intense her anger got. She didn't even pay attention to the gurgley retort from the employee. Instead, she turned to look at HR.
"Well, Obstructus?" Tija said expectantly. "Don't you have anything to contribute?"

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Mr./Ms. Obstructus
Nickname: Obi
Gender: Unknown
Status: Employee (Head of H.R. Department)

Obstructus leaned over the staircase railing like one of your French girls. "Why, certainly." They ghosted ghostily to the stairs, and spooked downwards.

"You are correct that our friend here hasn't been organizing our merchandise to company standards, but I must ask..."

Obstructus glided over to Tija until their faces were an inch away from each other.

"How can Gordon watch the training videos when he doesn't have eyes?"

Obi quickly spun around and sat on a chair in dramatic fashion while pulling a lever.

"I'm positive that the issue will be resolved after we've accommodated Gordy's needs. Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance."

Obstructus yeeted themselves back up the second floor while drenched in ominous ceiling water. "And please get a wet floor sign."

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Tija

Customer Experience Salesfloor Associate

Tija hissed, attempting to shake off the excess water from Obstructus' display.

Regardless of how she felt, she had no real argument to take up against Obstructus for the moment.

Glancing at Gordon, Tija was reluctant to admit that Gordon's lack of sight was, on Tija's part, a bit of an... oversight.
Still, the tentacle rich creature at least had ears, didn't he?

"Come on then, we're heading back to the break room you and I." Tija said, extending a guiding arm towards Gordon, intending to usher him back with her. They left, but not before Tija had pulled out a "caution - wet floor sign" out of the pocket dimension of her large sleeve.
She set it down and headed on her way, floating next to Gordon.

"Oh- I do wish you'd stop leaving slime trails."

Less than an hour had passed, and Tija had Gordon in a darkened room in front of a large TV, having him take notes on the instructional videos that were playing.
There was still the issue of eyes and lack there of that Tija needed to deal with. She had him listen intently to everything being said in the videos, but she supposed Gordon would do well with somebody there to describe things to him that needed to be described. Like how to properly fold clothing items. Tija was more than capable of doing it herself, but she needed to be out on the floor! She was a very busy cosmic entity.
She considered her options.

"Wait here, Gordon. I'll be back in a bit." Tija said, and with a snap of her finger, conveniently poofed in front of the HR office door.
She knocked once, then twice. "Obstructus!" She hollered for the spectre, knocking urgently as she did. "Obstructus, I have a question!" She said, "And maybe a favour to ask!" She quickly added, "And do you know where Dredge is? Our janitor? I haven't seen him since the pharmacy's blood tsunami, is he done there yet? When he is, can you send him to the break room? The place is absolutely covered in slime."

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Lucy Webstar
Lucy looks up at the doors in front of her, she is slightly nervous since this is the first time she has been outside by herself. Since she is terrified of just about everything, she doesn't know what to do next. She looks down at her phone to check the time and the doors swing open, she screeches slightly then calms down realizing that they are an automatic set of doors.

"Calm down, Lucy," she tells herself as she breaths in and out deeply. "You are only here for a few things, it shouldn't take that long."

After Lucy calmed down a bit, she walked right into the store, her 8 legs taking her in at a steady pace. Once she is inside, she tries to find a small shopping cart for her to use. She finds a few big ones, but she eventually finds one that is meant for a small child.

Being only 3 feet tall is a pain, she thinks to herself. I hope the things that I need is down where I can reach them. I don't want to get yelled at for climbing up a shelf for a bottle of shampoo again.

Lucy looks down at her list and sees that she needs some new nail polish, most of the bottles she had at home were either old or already used. She looks down at a few of her toe nails and sees one of them has been chipped. She sighs, she wanted that color to last a bit longer. She looks up and around for the personal care department and goes off into that direction. Lucy passes by a whole lot of interesting things on her way to the nail polish. She even saw something made out of spider silk. It doesn't take her long to find the nail polish.

Her eyes go wide, "Oh my gosh! There is so much nail polish here!" She starts to look at each of the colors of nail polish, trying to figure out which colors she like more and which would match well together.

Please ping me to get my attention

Pixel art by me
Click here for my twitter and other things.

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Obstructus sat contently in their office chair while clipping their mighty toenails. Their eyes were focused on a small security monitor that was hidden in a nook under their desk. One might wonder how Obi managed to steal this piece of equipment from the security office, and what possibly nefarious reasons they had for doing so. Certainly not an excuse to flirt with the head of security if caught.

The handsome and overqualified chief of human resources could not look away from the obvious lacquerista extraordinaire who suddenly graced the screen with her spidery presence. At that moment, Obi knew that nothing was more important than finding this queen and unlocking her secret to attaining polish perfection. Whether Obi couldn't see the chipped nail polish or was choosing to ignore it was unclear.

A second hadn't even passed following Tija's knock when Obstructus began to bolt out the door in an obsidian blur.

"HelloTijaDredgeisprobablydeadinaditchsomewherewhoknowsandcertainlyI'llberightbackgottagofast."

And just like that, Obi was gone.

...

The spook-on-a-mission Obstructus approached the charming arachnid in a graceful and professional manner.

"HELLO, MADAM. I WOULD LIKE TO ENQUIRE ABOUT YOUR TOES."

[Quests] • [Store]

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Tija

Customer Experience Salesfloor Associate

Tija could hardly get another word in the moment the HR door swung open.
Just as soon as Obstructus had shown themselves, they were gone just as quickly.

Tija huffed, hands on her hips.
"I hate it when they do that."
Calmly, and not anywhere near as rushed as the other had left, Tija floated after Obstructus.
She stopped just in time to see them inquire about a customer's toes and she frowned.
She cleared her throat, and floated past Obstructus with her fingers interlaced, approaching the customer.
"What they mean is- welcome to Malwart! I'm Tija, and if there's anything we can assist you with today, then please, don't hesitate to seek out a Malwart representative!" Tija said, with a tilt of her head, trying to smile for the customer, but it was hard without a mouth.

Forums Role Playing Welcome to Malwart (Walk-in rp)

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