I need some advice: New Developments

Another Movie Addict

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[ Like the title says, I need some advice. From anyone who has modding/admin-ing experience. Our own staff, or whoever. Because my chat is having a very big problem and I don't know what to do about it.

We have a fur who has been hooking up with anyone in our Adult chat room. Which isn't the problem really, as long as it's a consenting adult I don't care. The problem is someone just came to me about being coaxed into having sex when they didn't want to. Not rape, but it's really making them uncomfortable with the other fur. The person lodging a complaint has asked us to not talk with the fur in question directly. And they didn't ask for them to be banned. But this is NOT the first complaint against the fur. This is the first very serious complaint, but not the first complaint. The other mods want to give him his 100th chance to do better, but he just keeps doing bad things. So I don't know what I should do. ]

Amber Lynne

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@Another Movie Addict: Kick his ass.
1: If he has caused problems in the past, and the 100 (while probably a bit of an exaggeration) is anywhere near accurate.... he has shown that he will continue to be a problem.
2: If he has continuously been let off the hook... he'll get the idea he can get away with anything, and that seriously won't look good.
3: He just sounds toxic. If he's doing more harm than good, he has to go.

♯ Obsession \\ Rejection \\ Your final breath \\ is now my possession ♯

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[ @Amber Lynne: If it were just up to me, this guy would've been kicked a few months ago. The problem is, he's close friends with the chat owner. And she still believes that he'll magically get better. There's also the fact he's on the spectrum, which he uses to get away with a lot of things.

All of us chat staff are kind of divided on the subject. Two of us want to kick him, and two of us want to keep helping him. But he really is a very toxic person. We already blew up chat over him once. Every big drama is because of him. ]

Another Movie Addict

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[ @SirLionelNigelConrad: The entire group both the main chat and the adult chat are locals. We all know each other personally. ]

Another Movie Addict

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[ @SirLionelNigelConrad: It really is, and that's why I chose to come on here for advice. None of you know us. ]

Another Movie Addict

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[ @SirLionelNigelConrad: It's not just texts, they actually did stuff in real life too. So it's a very...awkward drama. ]

Amber Lynne

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@Another Movie Addict: Honestly, that sounds like more reason to boot him to me.
Someone who uses something like 'being on the specturm' as a bloody excuse repeatedly is just a toxic person to be around. (Ok, to an extent.
There ARE legit scenarios people can use that as an explanation, but not an excuse. And that's the difference. Explanation vs excuse.)

Anyway.
If it's getting to you and the owner is being uncooperative with trying to improve the chat... maybe you should consider leaving then?
I dunno if you have any specific 'ties' to the chat or hwatever, but you could friend those you like and leave, before problems happen with you and your mental well being. (If you think that's a risk, that is.)
Because sadly, owner trumps mods.
I mean, if I had a problem and Fozzy didn't have a problem with the same thing, his decision trumps mine because, you know, he owns the site. For an example.

Just my two cents

♯ Obsession \\ Rejection \\ Your final breath \\ is now my possession ♯

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Another Movie Addict

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[ @Amber Lynne: Like I told Sir, there are personal ties. We all know each other and live in the same area.
@SirLionelNigelConrad: The complaintant isn't claiming assault, only that he was uncomfortable both times he had sex with the fur in question. We've been having a problem in our adult chat of nudes. A lot of people would like them banned, and now it's someone wants someone specific to be banned from showing nudes. This is Telegram and not Discord. So no spoilers, separate locked rooms, or muting someone. ]

Another Movie Addict

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[ The toxic person, has also recently gone to the chat owner asking her to make me like him as a friend again. -w- So this is just. Upsetting. I'm also in a DnD group with this guy. There's a lot of real life mixing. ]

Another Movie Addict

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[ @SirLionelNigelConrad: I'm very aware. We all go to the same stores, the same parties, stuff like that. ]

Another Movie Addict

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[ @SirLionelNigelConrad: Yes they did.
All of this because of one person. My local furries have done a lot of very good things for me. They've helped me in so many important ways, and are my friends. But this one person is making things really unhealthy for all of us, and not everyone wants to confront the situation. ]

Another Movie Addict

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[ @SirLionelNigelConrad: Some of these people would literally give you the shirt off their back if that's all they had to help you. Hell one of them felt bad I couldn't do laundry and brought me some detergent so I could. And those kind actions kind of cover over the less than desirable things they do. ]

Another Movie Addict

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[ Well the whole thing is settled by, the person just left the group. Apparently he's sick of getting in trouble. -w- ]

Another Movie Addict

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[ Here's hoping. ]

mizuie

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@Another Movie Addict: If given chance and chance again to prove to do better, yet, only proves to crush that chance? They should be reprimanded & not given another chance. There are certain people out there who will say they'll do better, but won't. They're gonna keep doing it over and over again until they can't anymore.

Another Movie Addict

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[ @Q t e a p o n: Unfortunately more drama happened after this thread. And I am no longer a mod for the group.

]

Another Movie Addict

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[ The fur I have been discussing left both my adult group and the main group. He has sexually harassed people, he talks in detail about his cutting, whines to our DnD dm until he gets his way, and yesterday someone snapped. He got upset that we didn't instantly give him sympathy after three minutes of his post. He decided we all hated him because he couldn't wait more than three minutes. Someone called him out. So the problem fur finally left. So I said in our mod specific chat that him leaving was for the best. Apparently that led to our head mod saying that it was only best for me, and that there were way more complaints about me. Not what the complaints were though. So I chose to step down. Because if I am a problem, then it would be for the best. ]

Forums Serious Talk I need some advice: New Developments

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