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The One That Got Away

Do you remember the first time you seen him?
Did his beauty take your breath away?
How many mornings did you wake up and reach for the phone because the sound of his voice could simply make your day?
Do you remember what his fingertips felt like as they brushed across your skin?
How many nights did he have you lie down beside him, just to feel safe and loved once again?
Do you remember the taste of that first kiss, was it sweet, and were his lips as soft as a rose?
Where were you standing when he decided to go all in, by the fridge or the stove?
Do you remember the first time he wrapped his arms around from behind and pulled you in so tight?
Can you still feel the warmth of his breath as the goosebumps rippled all over your skin?
Do you remember the light in his eyes as you sang every song on the radio?
Was it Ben Platt or Demi Lovato?
Where were you when you realized you should not have let him go?
How long before his tears fell like rain into your stubborn heart?
How long before that final goodbye actually tore your world apart?
How many times did you pick up the phone to call?
Did you hang up before he answered or did you say nothing at all?
Or maybe like every other time, you simply refused to make that call?
How many times did that little ol ford circle his childhood home?
When did you realize you screwed up and he no longer fears being alone?
How many nights did your pillow catch your tears?
How many nights did you wonder how he's been?
Will you let days turn into week?
Weeks into years?
How many songs sounded like your heart was speaking through the artist on your radio?
How many of those songs could be about him?
Or about the mistakes that you made?
Do they sing about your sorrow or how you wish you had stayed?
Will you cry when he gets married to another because you felt lost and broken.
How long before you regret leaving with words unspoken?
Mistakes, I know they can haunt you, and they will find you one day.
When you see my name, when you hear my voice, you'll know, all about the one that got away.

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@LilMissKushy: I guess deep down it sort of is or was. I was actually talking to a friend and she had been through something similar and I pieced together both our stories.

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@LilMissKushy: I used to write a lot more in general, so yes. I am getting back into it though. I write for school, but I am also writing for fun again. I will try and post some more on here if I do. Do you write?

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@LilMissKushy: Goodness sakes. I only have the one kiddo. But being a single parent, in the south, nontraditional family if you will, things can be a bit rough. Oh and 4 cats. LOL I wish I were more artsy, however, I simply have not put forth the effort to become better. I have considered painting though. I think that could be fun and I could get my son involved.

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@LilMissKushy: do it then. Give yourself a portion of time. 10 15 20 30 min but make it your time. Have things ready or close at hand so you can just take a bit of time and doodle or sketch or whatever you feel like doing. Don't rush it. Just be in the moment. Nobody says you have to dedicate hours at a time to appreciate your craft.

My wee one is 13 going on 14. He's a handful but I've never been prouder in my life. Just thinking of him or hearing his laugh and seeing his smiling face....it reminds me of all that is good in the world and all that is divine and beautiful. I never thought I'd have kids. I ended up with one and I tell ya, he's my world. He's the brightest light when even I feel my soul getting dark. I'm getting ready eyes just typing this. ^///^

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@LilMissKushy: omg listening to your story takes me way back. At one point I let my brother move in with me and my partner at the time. Well it was my brother and his wife and their 2 kiddos. It was a constant kiddo convention lol. We did have specific shows which the kids let us know were approved or not approved lol later on though I did get my son to watch things I watched growing up such as fraggle rock. Smurfs. Things such as that. Maybe try slipping something in that you would rather endure from time to time. Like have it on when they wake up and create a bit of a fuss over it. Get excited and do things such as....oh wow what is this...this looks neat or exciting.....oh no what are they going to do next. Kinda narrate the story for a few minutes and it may help them get hooked on something new.

I'm proud of you for commiting to just a little bit of time for your artwork. I think it'll help you out a lot. And who knows what you'll be able to produce and how much you'll feel better just for getting something out on paper or canvas.

I'm so glad you ended up with your daughter even after being told you couldn't or wouldn't have kiddos. Being mostly gay I knew the reality of it all. But life had other plans and I met an amazing person and tbh even then I didn't imagine kids. We were only together in that way one drunken night but hey it led to my son so no regrets.

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@LilMissKushy: new poetry posted darlin. Tell me what you think