*edit: You guys are awesome <33 thanks for helping me through this little episode!
I started chatting with this guy recently on a personal level. I think hes started to like me by what he says, and for a while seemed like we connected pretty well. But we'd always naturally get onto these deep conversations about life and junk.
But we got on a voice call tonight and he started to bluntly ask me if I'm okay, as if something's wrong. Kind of took me off guard.
He said that I've been saying all these negative things, the stories we get on about and stuff. Like I start reflecting and I thought the conversations were mutual, I never felt like I was sounding serious. I felt unconfortable with this question, and I can't figure out if its because he's right, or if I should get away from this person because he's going to make me think hes right. Like just because things happen in our past doesn't mean we're not currently okay? I don't tell stories of my experiences with the desire for sympathy or pity.. most of the time I felt I was answering questions.
He talked about how he studied psychology too. We were talking about other things for a while but we got into adhd and light conversation. Then I mentioned in a tangent that my family thinks I have mild asperger's, but no one else sees that in me. He said he sees it, and explained to me in what ways.
And once again, I can't tell if I'm uncomfortable because he might be right and I gotta reevaluate my life and behaviors or because he might be presumptuous.
Either way, my anxiety has flaired up so much and I'm overthinking and feeling so insecure. At this point in the call, I kept trying to return to light hearted conversations and talking about silly things. But he would stop responding, I thought he disconnected. Figured he was tired, it's late, but it ended so rapidly it made me wonder if I said something wrong.
Maybe it was a bad idea to think about making a new connection like this. Like am I too broken and depressing and I really can't help it, I should give up dealing with other people cause I can't be normal like them
Maybe I'm just tired. I needed to vent though, I get so so insecure about my personality.