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Trigger warning.....ptsd.........abuse........et al

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So tonight a lot came crashing down, flooding back, and boy was a dam opened up.

To be clearer, I wanna preface and say that I have been in a fee relationships and situations where I was with someone who loved me so much that they simply couldn't keep their hands off me.

During those times I learned a lot. About myself...about life...about love....and how to hide. Hide my shame and vulnerabilty. Hide the bruises and busted lip. How not to flinch when someone touched me and not to scream or punch when surprised. But one thing that helped me so much was peas.

See the lesson of peas is what taught me the most. It was a tough lesson and one that a dear friend taught me before their passing. Tonight I unfortunately passed along that lesson. See, many people think that for a black eye or busted eye socket....swelling in general you use a nice thick cut steak. But they're wrong. The key is peas. Frozen peas are small and distribute the cold and pressure more evenly. They hold temperature better and when they get warm they refreeze better than steak.

So for any who need this, A) there is help B) you are not alone C) it is not right nor will it ever be D) it is not love E) peas

Goodnight