Man, what a year this has been! I got stuck thinking yesterday about how much different things are now and how much I've changed too. My life is coming together and I'm finding a new sense of peace that I haven't felt in so long, that I keep getting massive dejavu at random moments. Like something just suddenly feels nostalgic but I can't put my finger on what it is, but I just feel randomly happy.
I seriously cannot believe that exactly one year ago, I was scrounging for art commission work just to afford packs of ramen. But now, I can literally afford to buy a HOUSE! I mean, I just have to wait one more year for my wage to be recognized since I'm commission based. But its totally a thing that financially I can do with mine own two hands!
I shared on here my journey down to the south this year. How much everything exploded in every direction, but how the move itself fell in my lap so easily. I've wanted to come here for a decade. Every fiber of my soul felt that this is where I needed to go and I couldn't make Colorado feel like home, no matter how hard I tried. And I tried.
My fiance and I had some hiccups when we came here. We had to change our lives entirely and the habits from before, and work ourselves into a new lifestyle that is healthier. It was harder on him, that with his family issues and trying to shake addictive habits that he had to numb the pain from dealing with them all his life, but he's come a really long way already. He's singing again and working hard, developing new goals and ideals for himself. Enjoying the newfound freedom that he has in this household. He left for work this morning feeling so dang happy, he kept picking me up and getting all giddy. Nothing new happened, we were just talking about our current lives this morning. I think its just feeling like we're free and alive to do whatever we want, make choices and goals that seem so possible.
Like his dream of having his perfect little music corner in a room where is half designated to my arts and crafts so we could work on our projects together on our days off. Those are moments where we feel fully ourselves and the happiest we can be!
There are still annoying things, as life will always have. Like having to take an interstate to get to work every day. The drive TO work isn't bad, but the drive home is horrendous with the way one particular road merges into the other, the angles are weird and there is. ALWAYS. an accident. Or two. Plus, its always dark going home, and I get bad night blindness paired with driving anxiety. My fiance and I end up carpooling cause luckily, his job is 2 doors down from mine and work him very similar hours.
Working 11 hours a day is rough, and having managers who mock me when I want to share ONE day each week with my family as my day off. As if I'm spoiled and my values are misdirected, because THEY don't care to spend time with their wives. Why would I WANT to spend any time with my fiance, over being at work. Like fuck you guys, ain't changing my ways! I miss being home. This home I worked so hard to make cozy and full of snacks! XD Nobody really likes being at work~
Anyway, I'm certainly having an ADHD squirrel moment cause I was meant to start organizing our things to pack up. We're moving soonish (either locally or, if I get this promotion I applied for in Wichita Falls, might go there even sooner) so fiance asked me if I could go through and make donation piles, for things we wouldn't miss. To make moving lighter of course.
But then I ended up looking at our finances cause I need to write all the numbers down from my brain so we can budget either move.
But then I thought it'd be a good time to learn how to use excel.
But then I thought it'd help to look up templates for excel.
But then I thought I should update the pixels in my post format.
But then I remembered my thread about nail wraps,
But then....
:vanora_smile:
