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Voltie — Moody Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/12 22:11:56 )
Moody Says. . .

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Today is technically my birthday. But i no longer really celebrate it because it's honestly
the worst day for me.
But having severely lowered expectations i feel helped me get through it as normally my birthday overall has never been really
celebrated. At least not by the people i care about.
Part of me still would like at least one really good one but considering im now 27 i think i'm over it.

But my good friend, even tho she knows i don't really celebrate it. she was still awesome to have draw me something[she always asks what i want every year] and she even gave me $100 to buy whatever so that was pretty cool.
It was very unexpected.

and i posted a drawing on my twitter that actually did decent despite not being fanart.
so today so far has been an okay day.
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Voltie Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/12 22:32:37 )




Man I can relate this... the more years to come and as I grow older the more I'm not a fan of birthdays... Is not like I'm alone on those days is just the idea and expectation of celebrating it is ugh nope. Plus is just an awful reminder that I'm getting older... I'm not that ready to let go of my youth yet =w=;

But Happy Birthday regardless :)
I'm glad there was someone took a time to draw a drawing for you today, she's one good friend you have there~






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Voltie — Moody Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/12 22:38:40 )
Moody Says. . .

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@Purpsy: i've honestly always hated and dreaded this day even when
i was a kid cause it just...did not get celebrated or remembered. But someone in my family
who had the exact day got remembered oddly. lmao.

So i quite loathe this day.
I don't mind getting older, but considering there hasn't been very many people by my side
i just enjoy doing things that make me happy which is art and just pretending today is not when i was born or anything lol

she's one of my bestest friend's and we talk everyday and have many common interests.
she's such a great person.
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Donator — He/Him Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/12 22:55:43 )
happy birthday!! :D

I hope you continue to have good days ahead~
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Voltie Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/12 23:13:10 )




@MoodyB: I'm sorry :/
Yeah I can understand why you don't like birthdays then, I wouldn't too... But hey your family may not like you but at least there's someone out there does and maybe more to come in the future. I also think there's strength of being comfortable and okay being alone. Coming from someone who's an extreme introvert.

But as for someone who hates birthdays in different side of the spectrum, I guess I truly don't like birthdays because is such a reminder to get my shit together... because I'm getting older and my life is far from perfect. And the fact I don't really have anyone to spend it with besides my family which I should be grateful for, but their not the type of people I can comfortably be myself with...






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Voltie — Moody Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/12 23:57:50 )
Moody Says. . .

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@Purpsy: yeah. im kinda over it anyways so i'll probably try to see
if any of my social media, i can turn it off my next year LOL.

Yeah i understand that.
my life is nowhere near even being "put together" just because i keep getting hit by grief. so I understand the constant reminder of having it together. at this point, my whole adult and teenage life has just been me trying to put the pieces back together of my life XD
but it aint working. so now im just like I'll do what i can and none of my family outside of my sister and dad
don't take my work seriously anyways lol.

I firmly believe no one really...ever has it together. Not even at 50.
Yeah for me, not many people i am like...super expressive about when it comes to my hobbies.
because i was made to feel ashamed or bad for liking what i liked.

@Shark: Thank you
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Voltie Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/13 00:02:04 )
Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it's a plan!


@MoodyB: Happy Birthday!

I can't imagine not celebrating my birthday. My father isn't big on birthdays, but I think that's more the expense than anything else. He hates how expensive birthdays can be, especially now that he has multiple grandchildren on top of his own children, haha. We always do something - cake and ice cream, and usually a nice dinner, plus a couple of presents.

Did you buy yourself anything nice with the $100 from your friend?

We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?
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Voltie — Moody Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/13 00:09:16 )
Moody Says. . .

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@Mellonin: Mostly we don't for my dad's religion is against it.
I wanted to have one last b-day so i can stop all together. but since every year i am usually left very empty from them and also just...disappointed i'd say this is as good as it's gonna get lmao.

No one but my grandparents and immediate fam remember. XD
so it's not a big deal to me.

we used to do birthdays but by the time i was maybe...21-23 i kinda gave up on the entire day.
it always has me feeling....forgotten and that no one really cares i even exist.
so it just gives me negative feelings. as much as i would love for a nice birthday i just think this day is not ever going
to be good for me XDD

but today was a pretty okay day.

I haven't yet. I am waiting for a sims 4 sale on the packs as she knows i love sims 4.
and even told me in her note to me on paypal

But i don't plan to spend it all and save most of it so i can eventually afford a new desktop.
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Voltie Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/13 01:46:38 )




@MoodyB: I'm the same way x'D
The only day I do look at my own social media (separated at my own artwork I post online) Is on my birthday, then I'll just check again next year pfft. As a fellow artist expressing myself through art is a lot easier than the other way around. Although it has been very hard to find motivation to draw these days and I've been ridiculed with my art too... mostly because I don't draw realism and my art style is on the childish cutesy side *rolls eyes*

Yeah, is funny how comforting it is to know that we're not truly alone struggling with our lives but it still feels like we're all alone when situation gets tough. At least that's what I'm going through these several days and a ton of it is still accepting and healing certain things that happened in the past.
I'm at the point I'm not so try hard about it and just trust "the process" even it feels is not much an improvement in some days.






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Voltie — Moody Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/13 03:08:02 )
Moody Says. . .

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@Purpsy: im usually on my social media just to either post sketches, finished works or to let followers know im live on twitch and to find new and aspiring artists to follow. tho none of my followers really interact lol

my art style is like neither realistic or cartoony or anime. idk what to even call it LOL but i want to paint and draw semi realistically just because its something I've always wanted to do.

I've had to lately work my life around my adhd and figure out what does and doesn't work for me and also just stop interacting with family who have pretty much traumatized me and my family and unlearn some bad habits.

but art has helped me a ton through very hard things. i took 2 months from art and now feeling better to create.
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Voltie Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/13 04:09:54 )




@MoodyB: Yeah art is one thing I'm proud myself over for despite the criticism I get by others, and btw nice drawings you got on Insta, I gave you a follow ^^

Part of me wants to try to draw a little more realistic too but I don't have a heart to start on it right now, especially since it took awhile for me to find my own art style, which is also started out as chibis and now has evolve into something else x'DD

But is good that you cut off certain people like that in your life or at least set boundaries, ugh dealing people like them can drain the energy out of you.
At least in my own experience... the criticism I'm only willing the listen are the people that wants me to improve or care for me or my work, not bring me down.





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Voltie — Moody Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/13 05:09:35 )
Moody Says. . .

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@Purpsy: aww thank you so much!
i know im not the best artist but i enjoy seeing myself grow and hope one day i can grow into an even better artist.

i totally understand how that is. if you like your art then i dont think you need to change anything.
I'd definitely would like to get better at anatomy and coloring.

yeah, i dont often recieve criticism but when i do i just take it with a grain of salt. as it is my journey not theirs.

yeah they were just overall taxing on my mental health and barely being there when my mom's passing i just cut them out completely. i feel much more free now.
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Voltie — Moody Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/13 11:44:27 )
Moody Says. . .

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@Totalanimefan: thank you i appreciate it.
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Voltie Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/13 13:40:53 )




@MoodyB: I think your well on your way there :3
For me I think my anatomy has gotten a bit better over the years, but my poses and colouring could use some more improving. And is good that you cut of those type of people on your life even it's sadly your blood-related family.







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Voltie — Moody Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/13 21:52:05 )
Moody Says. . .

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@Purpsy: Aw thank you. My hands still have a long way XD
some hand poses i nail and others just don't turn out as pretty.

tho at times wish i could also do cuter art like chibis. my emotes are so hard for me since i am not use
to doing super cute artwork XD

Yeah, sometimes family aren't always good to keep around if their bad for your mental health.
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Voltie — Moody Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/13 22:49:50 )
Moody Says. . .

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@Kory: thank you

it is nice just a rarity for me XD
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Donator — she/her Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/14 04:31:29 )

Happy birthday!! ^^

Your friend’s gifts were very nice, I’m happy she did that for you!

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Voltie — Moody Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/14 05:26:56 )
Moody Says. . .

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@Ark: it was a big surprise. She is my only client so far for my freelance art career.
so she supports me so much.
And always there for me and very understanding of things.

She always wants to do something special for me which is really sweet.
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Voltie Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/14 15:00:15 )




@MoodyB: It seems like we're both in the opposite ends when it comes to our art style. Not gonna lie, I'm a bit envious sometimes for artists who can draw some good semi-realism drawings but is also a source of my inspiration. Is like a double edge sword for me =w=;

Families are complicated that for sure... I'm fortunate enough that my family mostly dealt our own past drama and conflicts to one another but that doesn't mean we're far from perfect. I would've made a decision of cutting them out of my life, which is going to be very difficult because I still solely dependent on them... financially that is. But I still need to set some boundaries from certain family members...








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Voltie — Moody Posted 3 years ago ( 2021/12/14 20:56:08 )
Moody Says. . .

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@Purpsy: Lol it seems so XD
But that's what makes art so unique. Not everyone is the same.
Yeah, realism can be like that.
But i don't see being envious as being a bad thing all the time. It can really be good to push yourself or your limits.
Or at least that's what it's been like for me. Sometimes it really kicks me into the "I REALLY WANNA DRAW BETTER" phase.
Tho my tech sometimes stops me from improving certain things just because...it's so bad.
but with the money my friend gifted me will be going towards my new computer.

my fam always got some new drama. Lke a while ago someone within the family stole things to pawn and one of them were rings that were supposed to be given to my sis and I. but for some reason my fam just looks down on my fam quite often because we dont have a ton of money. or even middle class. so one of my aunt's fam...she tends to act..better than us. i just don't like being around her or most of her fam. Only one i like in her fam is her son now and his gf because they are so humble and kind. the opposite of his whole fam. when my mom died barely...anyone seemed to care. despite knowing my mom for years which just made my sis and I think did they even care or even like my mother. which if they didn't...that's quite weird considering she was the nicest person you would ever meet. Like my grandma loved her so much.

@totalanimefan: i didn't really spend too much time on voltra on my b-day.
i mostly avoided socializing a whole bunch lol.
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