I used to be real good at just telling myself "Do it and do it now or it wont get done" and that was enough! No matter how much I didnt wanna, I would just huff, get up, and do it. Whether thats drawing, working out, going on a walk, chores, cooking, ect. I used to be great at "just do it".
If there was an idea I had, a project I wanted to do, something like that. I'd just GO FOR IT.

WHAT HAPPENED

I realize how lazy I've become. I blame a lot of it on my job, since I do spend the majority of my time there, and there's a lot of sitting involved. I sit more than I've ever sat before, I swear. And I get so caught up in these depressive cycles from a lot of the stress from work and the corruption of the cult company that I work for. The 11+ hour shifts get to me more than anything, so by the time I get home my soul just feels so empty. Even if depression is due to a displeasure in my career, its not helped when I cant get off my arse when I'm at home either cause I couldn't shake off the work week. I've become a sloth! When I need to clean I just sit there and push it off. Thats never been me before, not to this extent where I seem to just sit there :vanora_upsidedown:
If I ever pushed something off in the past it was cause I was DOING something and I didn't wanna stop DOING. Now its just cause I can't motivate myself to get up.

I've been trying to find a different job all year, but there's really nothing out there for me that I could pay my bills with. That and after watching my husband's experience (particularly in this area) when he was job hunting, MOST interviews lied to him about hours, position and wage. He would be promised a livable wage at full time but end up being scheduled only 8-15 hours a week, getting paid in dirt. One actually tried to make him work during the interview, unpaid! If I try to switch careers and that happened to me, we'd lose our home.

I think the realization that I'm stuck in something that is consuming me so badly is really getting to me. I feel like I can't live. But I wanna do so much more outside this job!
I need to learn how to at least enjoy my weekends when I'm not at work! Or figure out how to use my 1-2 days of free time each week to be more productive towards either my hobbies or my future, or both.


Anyway, how to stop being a potato 101
lets talk about it :vanora_xd:

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That is not laziness, that is burnout, which is caused by overworking yourself to the point of depression. I have the "long-term version" of burnout; Executive Dysfunction, a symptom of chronic depression.

It's something you have to work around. As much as you may want to get a task done and out of the way, forcing it is only going to exhaust you more. Figure out what your brain will let you do and do that, and once you have the energy and motivation, take advantage of that to be productive. Just don't force it, it will not go well.

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@Jolly: you only gotta worry about it being executive dysfunction if you don't recover from it after a few (3+) weeks. If that ends up happening, you may wanna talk with a psychiatrist because of the depression symptoms.

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@Jolly: sounds like you keep burnin yourself out-- You should probably try to work on not doing that if it keeps happening.

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