I'm so tired.
this job holds more grudges than anyone. There was one incident last year where a customer screamed at me for 4 hours. FOUR HOURS. I remember mentioning it here later, but like, I stepped to the back room and broke down that day because I felt stuck in a moment I couldn't get out of. I was overwhelmed and frankly already had wonky hormones from my birth control at the time being too much for me.
I have had many customers scream at me since then and I didn't break. After quitting birth control this even became easier for me, as I'm not normally one to cry at work.
my boss still brings it up to this day, more than a year later, and tells me I need to work on that. On not allowing a customer to get me that way. But what else could I have done? He was there that day and tried kicking her out too, and he ended up leaving the room leaving me with her, so it's not like he made an example.
Why are we still holding on to one moment?
I assumed it was because last week a man kept cursing and yelling at me for legit no reason, he started upon greeting. I left him alone, then when he wanted to buy a mattress, he freaked out at me more with every question I'm required to ask. This didnt shake me outwardly but his hostility scared me. When it came to loading out his mattress alone in the back, I was not comfortable. So I asked one of the guys if they could help me given they've been watching. My boss, dense as hell, said no because "you should be able to load out a queen mattress without help"
and I was like no that's not why I ask.
The other girl got annoyed with him and grabbed me like "I'll go with you at least so you're not alone"
I thought, yeah, that also works great. We went together, I got his mattress down. One of the other guys pushed our boss into understanding the situation and he came back like woops I get it now dw I'll go have a smoke right next to the load out spot so if he tries anything, I'm right there!
Ended up with no issues.
But he said I handled that just fine.
So why am I still having my personality criticized so much? I get this a lot already from the regional manager so I can only assume that he's feeding it into my boss's head. Cause my boss usually doesn't remember things very well, he's a 50+ yo adhd ipad kid. The regional manager however... he's been holding me back until my personality straight up changes. I have to be perfect in everything and never get shaken by anyone, no matter how much they threaten me.
I hate this company more than I can express, but I still have not found any other jobs that pay anywhere close to what I'm making, let alone enough to survive by.