SO this post is gonna be quite a long one so please bare with me here. I have a friend who just doesn't know how to deal with a situation he's dealt with in the past regarding him and a friend he met years back in college. Here's the story.

My friend H used to hang out with this one lady friend of his whose name is A, who would always ask to hang out on certain days, which he thought wasn't bad since he barely ever goes out. He started hanging out, going to nice places and soon started developing feelings for her although she did tell him one time she had a boyfriend who she was dating just because he gave her drugs on the low and the fact she rejected one of his friends who asked her out during their college days, to which she responded by saying that "I just wanna focus on my studies." He told me that his friend had it easy for himself as his outcome was worse, but let me tell ya. It was getting to the point where he was being bored of it and one day they were hanging out with another friend because it was his birthday. He and his friend overhear A say that she's ready to date, so he took his chances to get a shot at her. A and H spoke in private so she can hear his confession, to which then he told her that it's fine if she doesn't see him that way because he really wouldn't wanna ruin their friendship should he say anything stupid. A told him she was nervous about them dating and didn't clarify why, she just was. H assumed she was giving some thought or that she just didn't want to see anybody at the moment, which he said he can truly understand. To his dismay, H felt like she supposedly gave him false hope because weeks later A tells him that she started seeing a girl (forgot to mention she's gay) during her trip to a Science Camp in Arizona. Apparently, the girl kissed her and both of them started hitting each other up ever since. H was upset at the fact she couldn't just give him the rejection he expected and not this "false hope" he had dealt with. After admitting all that, H felt like he was used just for her to get her errands done. A and H went to the Santa Fe Swapmeet in Norwalk since it was his first time going there, and once they set foot, she tells him that her dog got away and they had to go back, which really pissed him off because it was her responsibility to keep that dog on check, which it also didn't make quite sense to him because she has her mom and sister to get that taken care of, so H paid her a Lyft to go for her dog herself since he didn't wanna leaving just because she forgot to lock her gate. H goes on to say that every time he had to drop her off, SHE NEVER EXPLAINS where to take her. A says "take me home" so he assumed it was her house, but it was actually her sister's house. H got mad throughout the whole drive feeling like "her drug abuse messed up her intelligence."

H spoke to one of his friends about her and his friend told him that they were supposed to go with her at a tattoo parlor to get one of her tattoos done, and to his surprise, she never mentioned it to him at all. H doesn't exactly remember if she did or not because he just treated every hang out as a "date" because to him it felt like it or something like that. Every time they hung out, she talks about how her brother went above and beyond to get drugs (he told me her brother was gay too) and how she had sex with one guy here and some girl over there EVERYWHERE they went. I can say his problem is that H is too much of a Yes Man when it comes to things he doesn't wanna do since he does have a habit of helping out ever so often. What also was insult to injury in his case was that the girl A is dating happened to pick her up at his place because she didn't mind doing her a favor. A's girlfriend happened to be a classmate he knew during his college days. A hated every time H brought up her girlfriend's orientation because her girl didn't like "using labels". A would just tell him that "She just likes who she likes." and to him, it got annoying.

Number one thing H hated about her was that she would use her orientation as an excuse for everything. when he confessed, she told him that "you should have remembered by now that I'm gay, like SUPER gay." He just felt like she wasn't because he wanted to be a better experience than the last boyfriend she had, which H told me she kinda used to get meth.

I tried talking to my friend about the situation and told him what he truly should have understood from the start and he goes on to say that "She dated a guy before, I could have been a better experience." Dude, listen to yourself, you did tell me she dated a guy to get free drugs not because she liked him. I just told H without sugarcoat anything that he was simping over this girl and that he had to remember from the start that she was not interested in guys.

Another thing he told me was that A lied about their other friend supposedly saying that his mom hated gay people because they were religious and that he told him that his mom knows better than to say anything demeaning towards a person's orientation since he does stand up for his friends. I was just shocked to how it all turned out and the only thing I told him was that you sometimes have to say no. You can't always be a people pleaser.

Other than that, what H told me that I found messed up was how A told their other friend they were gonna go to the tattoo parlor to get a tattoo done on her and instead asked H to take her since he was the only one with a car. I felt that was messed up on her part but what can I say? But what I don't get is that if he felt used, then why did they always split the gas money 50/50? When I hang out with H, we split the gas even since I understand gas nowadays isn't free but not that I wanna be involved or anything, why is H tripping when he told me A would always pitch in for gas?

What do you think about all this? Was H used or did he think he didn't get his way with A?

Well anyway, I hope I can try to help this dude out because he doesn't wanna remind himself of how gullible he was to hang out with A.

TL;DR: My friend H felt he was used throughout every hangout with A and felt he was lead on by her. I just tried to help him out but he didn't wanna take my word for it.