Quitting is 100% a hard journey, but it's amazing that you're making an effort to do it! You've already made a first step, recognizing the issue and trying to tell someone about it. You should find some sort of support group or therapist or something to help you and support you better, but I'm sure that you can get through this! I've struggled with some addiction myself as well, and it can be hard to quit, but quitting will definitely improve your life. You can do this!!

I dunno if I ever had a problem with alcohol, but I quit drinking about 2 years ago? It just wasn't feeling good anymore.

But I think if you want to stop, you can do it ^^ Just be kind to yourself.

It's good to have some sort of support, whether its a friend, group, therapist, etc.
sucks most alcohol groups are religious based like you said =/
but maybe look and see what options there are?
if you see a therapist sometimes their office offers alcoholism services
same with if you have insurance, especially state insurance~
good luck c:

Thank you all for your encouraging words.

I'm on day 3 right now, and the hot flashes and just general feeling of unwellness has already set in. I'm really hoping I don't get the tremors or hallucinations this time, especially since I'm at home trying to do this with only my father for support - I was in a hospital last time, being carefully monitored because of how bad some of my reactions were.

Unfortunately, my entire circle of 'friends' can be classed more a drinking buddies, so that's a support group that isn't really available to me. They would probably just make fun of me, to be honest. It's what they would do every time I tried to go out and drink only soda, so I can only imagine their response to me actually trying to quit :(

@Totalanimefan: This isn't my first rodeo, but this time I refuse to think of relapsing as 'okay'. I even tossed about 20 $$ worth of alcohol down the drain this time, instead of telling my father to simply hide it. It's like I'm saying to myself "It's okay if you fail. Here's a backup supply of alcohol for when it happens."

I've decided on a bit of a mantra - Drinking is Failing, and You are not a Failure. It seems to be helping, at least a little bit.

Well, I drank last night. So yeah, that was a failure. I made it to 4 days this time. Yay?

Back to day 1, I suppose.

@Mellonin: it sounds like you're doing pretty well, actually, given the apparent seriousness of your issue (major withdrawals, etc.). Your mindset sounds like it is about where it needs to be and it seems like you're determined to follow this through with the process this time. Good for you! <3 Acknowledge the slight relapse you had as part of the learning/recovery curve (i.e. don't beat yourself up over it), but reaffirm your goals & reset yourself, and keep going. You got this, and you're not alone.

Personally, I don't like the religion-centric approach that AA has either and, if I were in your position, would have some reservations about attending meetings for those reasons, but there seems to be something to it. It is an established group for addiction recovery, and it might provide the support you need right now during this critical time. Is it possible for you to accept the "let it go" aspect and ignore the "to God/HigherPower/Whatever" of their dogma? OR, maybe see if there's a more secular group in your area that might work...?

Also, maybe try doing something different during that time when/if you start thinking about drinking... go for a short walk or a bike ride, do some pushups or jumping jacks, play your favorite song and dance around the living room, read an engaging book, start learning a new language, or listen to an uplifting podcast... do something to distract yourself, change your environment, and disrupt your "usual" patterns through that initial craving period or time of day when you used to start drinking.

And, I'm going to be blunt, but evaluate your friendships too... because if the entire friendship revolves around drinking (and drinking that much) and ridiculing you if you don't drink, they're not really friends...

Good luck. Keep going. You got this.

PS: I like your mantra. :3

@Justice: Not really. The best I've made it is 3 days recently, and last night I REALLY messed up. Like, drunk on the side of the road with at least one cop hanging around, keeping an eye on me kind of messed up.

@Justice: Safe from that particular situation, perhaps. Not exactly safe from myself, though. At least, not yet.