Am I in the wrong? - Voltra Online

Vampiretaco

Friend PM Trade

So I signed up for tree decorating this year. The group leader introduced us all as normal. We handed out contacts and stuff on print offs. I've done this before and never had an issue. People naturally group up together. And as normal I introduced myself and tell them if they need any help they can let me know.

Later I got a text from one of the volunteers. I upset them and I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong or not. I feel like I'm not. I could be wrong though. I've done this tree decorating thing for years now and I don't really want to get banned. Should I apologize to her for being rude or inform the group leader about a possible issue?

Voz

Friend PM Trade

@Vampiretaco: That is tough. Sounds like this person took it upon themselves to speak for the group. So, whether or not the entire group feels that way is unclear. This individual is putting up their own boundary and that may mean they don't want to interact with you. Sounds like you didn't do anything wrong based on their text message other than introducing yourself and they feeling you overstepped by inserting yourself into their tree decorating group? Do you have to work with this person / group or are you able to go about your tasks without being involved?

If you have to work together, then maybe discuss this with your supervisor/lead. Otherwise, I would not press the matter further. Racial tensions still exist today and we have to think about how our actions can negatively affect others beyond our own intentions.

I'm Puerto Rican and Polish and also I come from a very blended family of many different races/ethnicities which makes navigating the world sometimes a little difficult due to my outwards appearance being considered white or of a darker complexion depending on who's on the other end. It sucks that just by our appearance so much is judged about a person AND it goes both ways. At the end of the day, don't beat yourself up over your presence making someone uncomfortable. If you had true, good intentions, there is nothing else you can do or should do besides avoiding this individual and not putting yourself in unwanted places.

Wow, that became a wall of text!

Hope things go over well and you can enjoy decorating!

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Vampiretaco

Friend PM Trade

@Vozzy:
We're all one team. I can try and avoid her as much as possible. However eventually I'll have to work with her. I'm going to discuss it with our group leader Sunday and see what she says. Luckily our group leader is friends with my aunt and has known us for over a decade. So I'm not too afraid of getting kicked off as much as I am for possibly being way out of line.
It feels like I'm walking on a field of land mines sometimes.

But there's always the possibility I get kicked off. It's a shame because we're doing a weird tree this year for a seafood restaurant. It's going to be made of lobster traps and giant rubber prawns. Lobster trap tree. It's a thing apparently. Last year we did a tree for a dental office. Hopefully I get to stay on the roster list.

This is the one I decorated for myself last year. :D

Qiqi Agatha

Friend PM Trade

@Vampiretaco: What!!? I am sorry that you are dealing with a problematic person.
As a POC (I actually don't like that term) it's freaking annoying when those kind of people makes broad decisions for "us", like we are not humans. It is also a very dangerous way of thinking and a form of covert racism. I would be careful around this person and they may cause unnecessary trouble for you and your group. Just talk to people normally, unless they do not speak English as well, since they are learning. Just ask questions when you are not sure and encourage their input.
That tree in your photo is gorgeous. When you and your group finish that Seafood Tree, can you please share it? That seems pretty cool and unique

That's cool @Vozzy: that you're part Puerto Rican. I'm part Caribbean on my father's side. It's like were Island neighbors

I'll be slow to respond for this month𓃵

Vampiretaco

Friend PM Trade

@Qiqi Agatha:

I had to step down from the larger projects this year. My brother's house burned down on the 14th. It's been a hellish mess. I cannot even begin to explain the amount of chaos there is with dealing with a house fire caused by a car that the company manufacturers knew was shady. Additional the harassment from the manufacturers trying to get you to sign stuff to shut you up.
I don't even feel comfortable openly saying their name because their legal teams have us all terrified.No one can get in contact with the insurance representative. The contractor needs the utilities turned off but the city won't until they get permission....from themselves? Idk this investigation is huge. It's deemed a crime scene because of the stupid car. Everyone is living with me now. I've been sleeping on the couch.

But I digress. Yes I'm still decorating trees. I'll just be in charge of private home decorating. Family Christmas parties. Personal office decor.

FUZZY

Friend PM Trade

@Vampiretaco: hopefully all went well with you're leader, that has known you, and your aunt for years.

Sorry to hear that someone took it upon themselves to gang up on you, through texts like a mean person, I don't think that you are in the wrong, but I do thonk that the other person is and over-stepped. If you only intorduced yourself to the group, and was kind. I don't see how that is rude in anyway.

If you can’t say something nice, Don’t say anything at all!

Qiqi Agatha

Friend PM Trade

0h FUDGE @Vampiretaco: , I'm so sorry about your brother's place burning down due to corporate greed. That's scary about his car exploding! I really hope you guys get the justice that's needed. It's too bad that lawyers are expensive, I truly feel that your family may need one, since the insurance companies will not be fair about this situation. That's horrible. *huggs* Hopefully, your family can fight them

That tree is so gorgeous and the Holiday seasons are here. Congrats on you branching out to professionally decorate Christmas trees! Sending you good and Successful vibes! Your tree looks professional

I'll be slow to respond for this month𓃵

Vampiretaco

Friend PM Trade

@Qiqi Agatha:
My team decorated another tree. It's for an office lobby. It's not the 30ft lobster tree but it's the best I can do this year given the circumstances. Also I'm managing a small team of 8 people. We do Fridays and Saturdays.

I've heard from the team manager, Judy, that the woman I had an issue with got kicked from my original team I was on. Lots of drama happened that Judy didn't get into.

MoodyB

Friend PM Trade

『 Moody Says. . .』

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I honestly could not understand how you would've upset someone. It just sounds like they were making assumptions.
You were just being polite?

Vampiretaco

Friend PM Trade

@MoodyB:
I was just introducing myself as normal. Said I was a veteran worker and if they had questions I or one of the other veterans could help them.
But she said I can just walk up to a group of POC and do that. I was being rude in her eyes because I didn't ask permission to speak to them first. No one else had an issue though.
She's been kicked from the team since the original post itt. And I'm in charge of a different one now.

MoodyB

Friend PM Trade

『 Moody Says. . .』

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@Vampiretaco: I was gonna say to ask if others had a problem. it seems she is hiding behind the POC part to act out on you. but so glad she's being kicked off the team.

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Qiqi Agatha

Friend PM Trade

0oow @Vampiretaco: That is S0 Beautiful

! I'm glad that you branched off, it seems that you and your team are doing well. It was a good thing that you left the Tree Decorating group and they see that Judy has always been the problem. That's sadly messy, but I am glad that you are doing well

I'll be slow to respond for this month𓃵

Vampiretaco

Friend PM Trade

@Qiqi Agatha:
Judy is actually on my side. She's in charge of us all. I took on a smaller team because I no longer have the time to participate on the larger projects. Judy is the one who kicked the problematic person from the group. She did that after I left so I'm not sure of the details on what lead to getting kicked.

Vampiretaco

Friend PM Trade

@MoodyB:

"it seems she is hiding behind the POC part to act out on you. "
Yeah that's what I gathered. But I was very warry on calling her out on it for fear I'd be labeled as racist anyway. Or out of the possibility that I was in the wrong but just ignorant. After I left, someone else didn't have an issue calling her out. I don't know all the details on that though.