Yesterday, for the first time since he had passed away, my brother, mother, and I went to Jefferson Barracks, which is a military graveyard here in Missouri, to visit my grandpa, my mother's father. He was a Seargent, First Class, in the Korean War, so when he had passed away, he was buried with honors. I had wanted to come for many years, but my mom has always had a hard time with the knowledge he was dead, as she was a daddy's girl.
I was almost two years old (my little brother just six months) when my grandpa passed away. I had wanted to go for so long, part of me didn't really know what to expect. Part of me felt like I would actually see him, although he had passed on in 1991 from lung cancer (I believe. Not sure). My mom and grandma would tell us little things he did, like when he was in bed for the last few weeks of his life, he would give my brother and I a cookie or some candy any time we went into his room. He helped take care of us since my mother was only 16 when I was born, and I believe 18 when she married my stepdad and had my brother.
All of this has been running through my thoughts when we went to see him, and the thing that really bothers me is that I have no memory of him at all. Shortly after he had died, there was a big flood, three years later, in 1994. And we had lost a lot of things. Not much had survived the flood. I only remember my little brother breaking a fish tank, then the flood, and then things after that. It makes me sad that I just can't remember him at all. I have pictures of him holding me, but I just really wish I had had more. I wish he could have seen me go to school dances, go to my homecomings, prom, even see me graduate high school. I just wish I could have had more time with him.
As much as I miss him, I know he's in a better place. I just wish I could show him that even though I don't remember him much, I love him very much and wish he was here with us right now.
Forums Serious Talk Just Wanting To Let It Out...
@kimmichan1989: I live in MO as well and have been to Jefferson Barracks; it's a place full of memories for everyone, but especially for the families of those honored there. I also empathize with wanting to know my grandparents better; I only ever met my maternal and paternal grandmothers, and only very briefly.
There's a lot weighing on your mind and I'm glad you could get it written down in words. Sometimes that really helps to process it and make it a bit easier on us.
I hope yesterday wasn't too hard on you, and that you're doing okay. Take it easy.
There's a lot weighing on your mind and I'm glad you could get it written down in words. Sometimes that really helps to process it and make it a bit easier on us.
I hope yesterday wasn't too hard on you, and that you're doing okay. Take it easy.
@superbearwars: Thanks ^_^ I don't know anything about my biological father's side of the family. He ran off when I was born and only saw me a few times in my whole life. There's a lot of built up resentment there, since he was under his mom all the time >.> I don't think I ever care to meet that woman at all. Just a lot of resentment built up towards him and that side of me. I just wish he wouldn't have listened to his mother so much. >.<
@KimmiChan1989: I understand. My father left our family when I was 14 and took a lot from us. Even though he was an abusive parent, we're still recovering a lot from him actually leaving (mostly financially, to be honest, as it so often is with divorce).
If you ever need someone to talk to about this stuff, and you feel comfortable, please feel free to come to me.
If you ever need someone to talk to about this stuff, and you feel comfortable, please feel free to come to me.
dear Lord I need a new signature someone help me
@superbearwars: Thanks ^-^ *big hug*
Pixel Art by the talented Neko~ Thank you so much, Neko! <3
Both a just adorable~ :vanora_heart: :vanora_heart: :vanora_heart:
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.