I'm hereeee ^^
yeah I did a bunch today. got all of the groceries for the youth club, all of the plants for the garden and tomorrow i'm gonna bring in a couple plants and show the kids how to propagate them. i'm eating dinner rn and watching E3. there are so many games that i want!
thank yoooou!
so i'm coming to the realization that my partner has signed his lease and will officially be moving a little over a hour away from me by July 1st. i realize now how little he considered me. he never invited me to look at it. he choose a place, with the other two, that's too small for four people. there's no balcony or green space so my plants don't fit. the room would not comfortable fit us both. my stuff would be.. who knows where. it's a hour from my work and too expensive per month.
if things go smoothly, by September i will have a new job title and a significant raise. and i'm going to start saving. i'm going to save for a couple years and by next fall look into getting back into school. and just take care of myself since he seems to be doing that for him. and in a few years i'm going to see where i'm at and maaaaybe just move out on my own or with one other person, a close friend, and yeah.
so i'm coming to the realization that my partner has signed his lease and will officially be moving a little over a hour away from me by July 1st. i realize now how little he considered me. he never invited me to look at it. he choose a place, with the other two, that's too small for four people. there's no balcony or green space so my plants don't fit. the room would not comfortable fit us both. my stuff would be.. who knows where. it's a hour from my work and too expensive per month.
if things go smoothly, by September i will have a new job title and a significant raise. and i'm going to start saving. i'm going to save for a couple years and by next fall look into getting back into school. and just take care of myself since he seems to be doing that for him. and in a few years i'm going to see where i'm at and maaaaybe just move out on my own or with one other person, a close friend, and yeah.
@nyreen: wow what a dick move. :/
My interpretation is that he lowkey doesn't want you living there.
You deserve love and care and good health and a raise. All the best luck!
My interpretation is that he lowkey doesn't want you living there.
You deserve love and care and good health and a raise. All the best luck!
@Eruca: thanks! he is insisting that it isn't that but how am i supposed to take it any way? his home life isn't good so he absolutely needs to get out but he didn't involve me whatsoever so. yeah. i'm over it. i don't reeeeeally want to live with him anymore anyways to be honest.
@Eruca: nope. we talked about moving in over a year ago. and last july we were supposed to move out but then one of our roommates got weird with me so i pulled out and it turned out the other roommate ( it was gonna be four of us ) couldn't anyways due to his finances. so we stopped that. then we talked for a while about moving out just us. the entire time he was really hesitant about moving around my work even tho it's 10x cheaper, good neighborhoods and there's tons of public transit to get around as well as nearby grocery stores, etc. so i guess he was focused on his needs even then. but we stopped talking about it bc it was so far into the future. next thing i know he's moving out with these two and i felt verrrry excluded the entire time. for the reasons above.
he also went back on other stuff with me. we use to gush about maybe getting married and now he's "anxious" about it. i told him we don't have to do anything. and he's been seeing friends more.
and specifically seems to be keeping me from a group of school friends. i was downtown and had finished up some plans for the summer program with my work partner and then called him to see if he wanted to hang out for a bit before i headed somewhere else, and he got reeeeally hesitant about it. then accused me of pushing him to say yes and invite him to a house that wasn't his. i was like wtf. it was so sketchy. i even called him out and asked him if he was trying to separate me from them and he insisted he wasn't. i also found out he was misgendering me with this group and when i confronted him, he got very defensive. he has also excluded me from their regular dungeons and dragons nights despite knowing i wanna get into it and when i'm like heyyy can i join, he seems hesitant.
and him claiming i'm pushing him to spend time with me was an issue baaack in january too. i would be with our friends but feel pushed out of convos. and i would talk but they'd drown me out. it became a reoccurring issue and i finally got fed up about it. i asked him if he could just politely tell them "hey dawn is talking" or wtv to help me yknow and he got REALLY weird and started saying he wasn't responsible for getting friends to engage with me. which is not what i was asking. i was just too like deflated to be like "YO HELLO I'M TALKING???" yknow.
and then back in the winter when my mental illnesses were real bad he would get upset i wanted to leave places early. but i was literally so sick and felt awful inside. and he would keep playing games or wtv. and then i would have to really push him to like pleeeease take me home and help me. and then i got a earful about how he cares but he has needs too and really needs social time, blah blah. yet when he's superrr tired, and sometimes due to his MEDICAL CONDITION ( sleep apnea ), he asks to leave and i'm like yeah sure lmao.
sorry i'm like bitching hardcore rn.
he also went back on other stuff with me. we use to gush about maybe getting married and now he's "anxious" about it. i told him we don't have to do anything. and he's been seeing friends more.
and specifically seems to be keeping me from a group of school friends. i was downtown and had finished up some plans for the summer program with my work partner and then called him to see if he wanted to hang out for a bit before i headed somewhere else, and he got reeeeally hesitant about it. then accused me of pushing him to say yes and invite him to a house that wasn't his. i was like wtf. it was so sketchy. i even called him out and asked him if he was trying to separate me from them and he insisted he wasn't. i also found out he was misgendering me with this group and when i confronted him, he got very defensive. he has also excluded me from their regular dungeons and dragons nights despite knowing i wanna get into it and when i'm like heyyy can i join, he seems hesitant.
and him claiming i'm pushing him to spend time with me was an issue baaack in january too. i would be with our friends but feel pushed out of convos. and i would talk but they'd drown me out. it became a reoccurring issue and i finally got fed up about it. i asked him if he could just politely tell them "hey dawn is talking" or wtv to help me yknow and he got REALLY weird and started saying he wasn't responsible for getting friends to engage with me. which is not what i was asking. i was just too like deflated to be like "YO HELLO I'M TALKING???" yknow.
and then back in the winter when my mental illnesses were real bad he would get upset i wanted to leave places early. but i was literally so sick and felt awful inside. and he would keep playing games or wtv. and then i would have to really push him to like pleeeease take me home and help me. and then i got a earful about how he cares but he has needs too and really needs social time, blah blah. yet when he's superrr tired, and sometimes due to his MEDICAL CONDITION ( sleep apnea ), he asks to leave and i'm like yeah sure lmao.
sorry i'm like bitching hardcore rn.
@nyreen: You have the right to bitch.
That doesn't seem fair at all. Why be together if he doesn't want to spend time with you? Like I get that his best friends don't have to also be your best friends, but the least he can do is Try not to alienate you from his life. :( Seems like a theme from what you've said.
Makes me wonder what about living around your work that he wants to avoid.
I feel very sympathetic.
That doesn't seem fair at all. Why be together if he doesn't want to spend time with you? Like I get that his best friends don't have to also be your best friends, but the least he can do is Try not to alienate you from his life. :( Seems like a theme from what you've said.
Makes me wonder what about living around your work that he wants to avoid.
I feel very sympathetic.
@Eruca: 90% of his friends are my friends. One of my friends is even in that group of school friends that he has, but I don't know anyone else on the group. It's just weird.
I'm just going to focus on my future, save my money, go back to school next fall and probably move out within the next three years.
I told him I was thinking of living with a friend and he started telling me he still wants to live with me. And we had a convo a little bit ago where he said it hurt him that I'm implying/don't think he was trying hard to accomebdate me when looking for apartments.
It is what it is. He does take care of me often and will make time for me just there's also this feeling of uncertainty recently and feeling like I'm on the back burner. Idk.
I'm just going to focus on my future, save my money, go back to school next fall and probably move out within the next three years.
I told him I was thinking of living with a friend and he started telling me he still wants to live with me. And we had a convo a little bit ago where he said it hurt him that I'm implying/don't think he was trying hard to accomebdate me when looking for apartments.
It is what it is. He does take care of me often and will make time for me just there's also this feeling of uncertainty recently and feeling like I'm on the back burner. Idk.
call me grem
they/them
they/them
Shark - well it is a great fairy kei look!
@nyreen: Hmm, sounds pretty complicated to me.
What are you planning to study when you go back to school?
What are you planning to study when you go back to school?
Ping me
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.