So I knew I had some form of Bipolar (runs in the family right along side schizoaffective disorder) for ages, but didn't really go and get help managing it because I thought that meant some kind of failure or whatever, you know? So I was going to do that M Y S E L F.
Well, as time progressed, relationships became more toxic, school became harder to perform in, jobs became harder to hold, society became harder to function in. But I was doing fan-fucking-tastic, of course.
Ultimately a toxic living situation had my crazy ass doing a bunch of bad shit to all sorts of people until eventually I was standing over my room mate and her boyfriend while they slept with a knife ready to slit their throats in their fucking sleep. They weren't great people, and definitely antagonized my symptoms intentionally up to that point -- but that's a whole nother ball game.
Anyways I snapped myself out of that shit, walked two hours to a doctors office and waited for it to open, haggard as fuck looking. Within days I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and put on some major antipsychotics so... you know... I didn't murder people. Apparently that's a thing.
Also abandonment issues are a thing and made me pretty easy to exploit.
Moral of the story: Don't try to manage your own mental illness for ego purposes. Use real support systems so you don't try to murder fuckheads in their sleep or something.
Feel free to vent any mental illness nightmare stories you might have.
Forums Serious Talk Crazy shit, literally.
My girlfriend's stepdad is on anti-psychotic medications.
He sees things and has homicidal/suicidal tendencies, and PTSD from being abused as a child.
He has a notebook of drawings, of the things he's seen while hallucinating.
Stuff like demons and reapers.
He says they'd taunt him and say how they'd kill him and the people he loved.
He's really chill and mellow most of the time now, but for a while back he was off his meds cuz he couldn't get in to see his therapist for a some time due to vehicle issues, and then he had to re-apply to get his particular therapist back.
It's not like he was constantly trying to kill people or himself while off his meds, but he was constantly on edge and ready to start fights with strangers if he was ever out of the house, so we had to keep a close eye on him.
He sees things and has homicidal/suicidal tendencies, and PTSD from being abused as a child.
He has a notebook of drawings, of the things he's seen while hallucinating.
Stuff like demons and reapers.
He says they'd taunt him and say how they'd kill him and the people he loved.
He's really chill and mellow most of the time now, but for a while back he was off his meds cuz he couldn't get in to see his therapist for a some time due to vehicle issues, and then he had to re-apply to get his particular therapist back.
It's not like he was constantly trying to kill people or himself while off his meds, but he was constantly on edge and ready to start fights with strangers if he was ever out of the house, so we had to keep a close eye on him.
@Totalanimefan: That's some good stuff. I like to call them life hack dealers.
@Rallaa: So since schizo affective runs in my family, that can happen to me. I used to mess around with substances as a kid, trying to fit in with the other kids messing around with them or something. Anyways, apparently any kind of psychadelic can kind of turn on schizophrenia if you have it, even if you don't normally exude symptoms, THC being one of them. I was seeing demons and shit all over the damn place for weeks until a doctor told me about drug induced psychosis. So I can tell you that shit is suuuuuuper scary when you experience it, and I really feel for your girlfriend's step dad as someone who can relate. :C
@Rallaa: So since schizo affective runs in my family, that can happen to me. I used to mess around with substances as a kid, trying to fit in with the other kids messing around with them or something. Anyways, apparently any kind of psychadelic can kind of turn on schizophrenia if you have it, even if you don't normally exude symptoms, THC being one of them. I was seeing demons and shit all over the damn place for weeks until a doctor told me about drug induced psychosis. So I can tell you that shit is suuuuuuper scary when you experience it, and I really feel for your girlfriend's step dad as someone who can relate. :C
@Fai: Thankfully for him, weed doesn't induce those problems, but helps him cope.
@Fai: Well I mean, there could have been a chance it could have aggravated the symptoms rather than alleviating, right?
@Rallaa: If he has prescription marijuana, he likely has CBD base and not THC anyway. Even so, the drug induced psychosis happens when THC is used up after being stored in your fat cells, not when you're smoking it. So I don't know.
I cannot confirm nor deny a prescription.
@Rallaa: It doesn't matter, it just changes the likelihood of being CBD based is all. CBD to my understanding doesn't hurt, but I don't know that much about it.
@Totalanimefan: Yeah I live in Saskatchewan and I pay for.... Chiropractors and uh... Glasses? Dentistry outside of general cleaning.... And yeah that's it.
Oh and ambulances if it's more than once a year.
Oh and ambulances if it's more than once a year.
@Totalanimefan: My eye doctor is covered, my actual prescription is covered (once a year) and frames are covered up to a certain value. I stopped getting cheap ones cause they're uncomfy and break. Instead I upgraded to Ray Ban's and it's hecka worth it. I don't plan on replacing frames for a while though.
@Totalanimefan: Like you can always change the lenses for not too much money, and just keep the frames you know?
@Totalanimefan: Well that's a good luck to have.
Art by Robyn.
--x--
I'm @supereffective.fireblast on instagram
I was abused as a kid and I have had intense anger issues, PTSD, depression and schizophrenia.
On my meds, I feel level enough to go to therapy and work on my issues. Off my meds? You probably won't be able to talk me into it.
It took me forever to man up and get help because I was raised to believe that boys don't cry and was actually hit if I did cry and then promptly was told that I would die alone because women would never love a man who cries. I was raised to believe men can't ask for help or be weak. So I suffered out of being brainwashed to believe that I wasn't allowed any help.
I do extremely well with meds and therapy. I'm a completely different person. : ) But it didn't happen overnight and I tried a lot of meds. It's essentially trial and error. You need to be honest and not make the mistake I did of telling your doctor what they want to hear but wondering why tf you aren't getting better. Be patient. Work hard!
Without meds, I have visual hallucinations of zombie like people, so people with guts hanging out, a half a head, no skin etc. I have tactile hallucinations where I feel bugs that aren't actually there walking on me. I have believed that I was a god and was going to prove it by jumping off of the suspension bridge in my city, so I had to be hospitalized for my own safety.
With my anger issues as a kid, I have killed animals. I have had homicidal thoughts before but haven't ever actually gotten so out of control that I would do anything but was expelled from school in 7th grade for telling a teacher that I was going to slit her throat. I have tried to kill myself. I can be abusive if I am not on medication because I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder. So my anger issues aren't "I get angry a lot." It's: something as miniscule as dropping my fork will send me in a blind rage. I scream, I will punch / kick and I have broken a list of things (a chair, a cabinet door, punched a hole in the wall, ripped shelves off of the bookcase, ripped the bedroom door off of the hinges). I have tried to numb everything with heroin, coke, meth and alcohol.
With my anger issues as a kid, I have killed animals. I have had homicidal thoughts before but haven't ever actually gotten so out of control that I would do anything but was expelled from school in 7th grade for telling a teacher that I was going to slit her throat. I have tried to kill myself. I can be abusive if I am not on medication because I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder. So my anger issues aren't "I get angry a lot." It's: something as miniscule as dropping my fork will send me in a blind rage. I scream, I will punch / kick and I have broken a list of things (a chair, a cabinet door, punched a hole in the wall, ripped shelves off of the bookcase, ripped the bedroom door off of the hinges). I have tried to numb everything with heroin, coke, meth and alcohol.
On my meds, I feel level enough to go to therapy and work on my issues. Off my meds? You probably won't be able to talk me into it.
It took me forever to man up and get help because I was raised to believe that boys don't cry and was actually hit if I did cry and then promptly was told that I would die alone because women would never love a man who cries. I was raised to believe men can't ask for help or be weak. So I suffered out of being brainwashed to believe that I wasn't allowed any help.
I do extremely well with meds and therapy. I'm a completely different person. : ) But it didn't happen overnight and I tried a lot of meds. It's essentially trial and error. You need to be honest and not make the mistake I did of telling your doctor what they want to hear but wondering why tf you aren't getting better. Be patient. Work hard!
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Having you as a Voltie would be awesome.