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Forums Cirque ad Infinitum A very Moody Circus|Now opened

Donator — penguin Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/10/31 23:12:02 )
@MoodyBats: Aww, well that's not too far away at least.
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Voltie — Moody Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/10/31 23:39:44 )
Batsy Says. . .

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@Rosamond: Yeah. but might try to draw after dinner
so i can try to get really into coloring this piece when chores are done
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Voltie Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/1 02:52:18 )
ffff I keep jumping around threads and forgetting to reply/check in everywhere
/clears all the pings because when the number gets too high it stresses me out rip
I feel like I haven't posted here in a while oops
How's it been??

495/500
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Voltie — Moody Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/1 03:00:19 )
Batsy Says. . .

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@Hachi: im mostly just hanging out in here.
because i am very antisocial. :vanora_sweat:

Welcome back.
and it's been okay here.
trying to get myself to do art since i won't really get a chance till friday.
hbu?
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Voltie Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/1 03:08:02 )
@MoodyBats: Nah that's cool. I'm just hanging out everywhere because I belong nowhere haha uhh
Happy Halloween! I'm just at home. Waiting for the trick-or-treaters to stop coming so I can eat the rest of this candy shower and maybe watch something.

Nice, are you working on that headshot from before or something different this time?
It sounds like you'll be busy for the next couple of days!

497/500
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Voltie — Moody Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/1 03:10:38 )
Batsy Says. . .

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@Hachi: yeah and just comfortable in my own threads.
was gonna do a posting game but i don't really have prizes so gave up on that lmao.

It's the same headshot but looks a lot better.
But im still not satisfied with her mouth. so once i do that, then it's actually time to really
begin the coloring.

Well, im mostly busy doing chores.
Tomorrow going to my grandma's house, and then saturday is probably the store.
but chores fill up my day when i get up so late that it's hard to fit in time to draw/livestream my work.
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Voltie Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/1 03:26:55 )
[b]@MoodyBats: Maintaining threads is hard, which is why I can never bring myself to make my own haha
That and I'm anxious that people won't come in to post so...
Somehow I feel more comfortable in other people's threads but at the same time it's sometimes hard to join in when there's already a lot of conversation going.
(Speaking of posting games, this is my last post for my posting challenge ahhh posting is hard when you're a lurker) jk whoops

Cool, can't wait for you to get to coloring! It's the best part in my opinion heh

Ahh chores are a pain... necessary though... I always procrastinate on them. Oh will you be starting up livestreaming again?

499/500
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Voltie — Moody Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/1 03:30:08 )
Batsy Says. . .

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@Hachi: Normally i have prizes but i don't think anyone wants my art lmao.
so i just decided to not do it.

I can never feel comfortable in others threads.
and the conversations last pretty short with me cause i never have nothing new going on or up to or feeling lol.
so i just let people come talk to me if they so choose.

I'm not good at coloring. so we'll just have to see how it goes.
i'm really only good at long hair lineart.

Trying to. But i keep procrastinating on livestreaming.
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Voltie Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/1 03:40:08 )
@MoodyBats: I'd want your art! make that contest I'll fight people

I'm a really bad conversationist. Idk if it was obvious but like literally I start every conversation with "hey what's up" or some variation of the sort, and then when I get an inevitable "how about you" back, I never have anything interesting to say in return HAHA
I almost jump threads just so I can ask the same conversation starter but to different people /calling myself out here

Just try to have fun with it! I'm not great at coloring either but I think it's the most fun to do and experiment with. I love seeing drawings come to life with color.
If you do end up livestreaming I'll try to catch it!

I'm dumb I accidentally skipped a number in the posting frenzy that was today's event thread so now this is my 500th post rip me (I have to go back and edit my numbers...)

500/500
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Voltie — Moody Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/1 03:48:04 )
Batsy Says. . .

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@Hachi: Lol

I'm very awkward/depressed/boring. and all I talk about is art, and k-pop.
After that I have no other conversational ice breakers.

I've been studying color theory for months so I'm hoping that i can put my knowledge to the test.
I feel i barely even try when it comes to art. even though i try to try at least 200% with my art. :vanora_sweat:

Think i am just self conscious to livestream tbh.
And the only time i might be able to do it, is around this time till my bed time.
which is about 1:30am.
I can't get myself up at a decent time for the life of me.
I'm always up at like 12pm. No earlier.

Ah well at least you only jumped by 1 post instead of a bigger number?
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Voltie Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/1 05:28:19 )
@MoodyBats: I don't think you're difficult to talk to. You have stuff you're excited and passionate about, and it's natural to want to talk about them with other people. I mean otherwise there wouldn't be much else to say, right? I've had way more awkward conversations with people in real life, haha. a.k.a like almost complete silence
Honestly idk how talkative people work, it's almost magical how they always have something to say to keep the conversation going. I wish I could do that haha

You're definitely trying really hard! I mean, you're reading/watching tutorials and doing studies, that's way more effort than most people would put into anything tbh

I understand. I'm too self-conscious for it too haha
Idk about time zone differences but I feel like I'm generally free at that time. I don't really have time during the mornings or afternoons, at least not on weekdays. I'd like to think that I'm a night owl but I fall asleep at around 12am. (And then wake up at some ungodly hour of the night because my sleep schedule is messed up haha)

Oh man, I hope I didn't skip any more posts than that. I can't be sure though. I'd have to look through all of it but... 500 is so many to check...
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Voltie — Moody Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/1 05:34:33 )
Batsy Says. . .

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@Hachi: maybe its just me then :vanora_sweat:
I'm honestly better at communicating in RL which is weird. But im terrible online??
Or so how I feel. Or it's just my view that i just don't have too much to talk about
and when i had friends i talked passionately about things i love it was like they were telling me to shut up.

I guess they just find things to talk about? I try. but I fail. But i was pretty talkative at my graduation party.

I literally have over 250 videos each in two playlist. 1 playlist for art videos and the other is actually my watch list.
and I have a document on my art notes and i write what i feel is super important.

I have anxiety over the smallest things i swear.
and then i think "oh it won't be enough time."
or "I'll just end up redrawing and people will say i'm boring..."

I have no routine so sometimes my schedule is everywhere but as i do not work i have
freetime unless I am doing chores or going out somewhere.

yikes. hopefully you didn't.
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Voltie — Moody Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/2 00:37:05 )
Batsy Says. . .

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-internally screaming about the new new theme-
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Voltie Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/2 02:51:37 )
@MoodyBats: TALK TO ME ABOUT THE NEW THEME AHHHHH
I'm never going back to any of the old themes after this whoops bye

returning to conversation from last night because I fell asleep
Haha I'm totally the opposite! I think I communicate better online/through text because I have more time to think about what to say... (which is why I reply so slow). I've been told that I seem to have a very different personality/tone while typing than I do in person. I'm more emotionless in real life I guess?

Nah it's not just you. My best friends from high school don't share the same interests as me. When I talk about it, they'd never have much to say in return, so I became really self-conscious that I was bothering them. It's part of the reason why I went online and also why I joined clubs at school, so I could find people to talk to about stuff haha. It's become a good outlet for me.

That's a ton of videos! Do you like to watch them while you draw?

It takes a lot of courage to livestream, it's totally reasonable to worry about stuff like that. I think as your confidence in your art grows these things might become easier!
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Voltie — Moody Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/2 03:05:12 )
Batsy Says. . .

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@Hachi: Its so nice.
I think i will stick with this one for a long time.
I should make a black/red avi one day on here.

I think sometimes being only online depresses me further cause i get alone with my own thoughts
and then it just goes downhill from there. :vanora_cry:
But in RL I am kinda okay at hiding how i feel so when i am depressed i just try to suck it up.
So when I am online i kinda fall to pieces and have a melt down.

I'm honestly a lot more peppier when i talk in RL. Like i am bad at talking first but if someone talks to me first
I have no issue what so ever.

Nah I never have tried drawing while watching because i have a very hard time understanding
if I multitask.

I think i'd be less self conscious if my Livestream was private.
I've had some rude people come into my stream and ask for requests and when i said requests were closed
they gave me a lecture on freedom of speech. even though i'm the one that has to draw. Not them...
and my ex made me self conscious because of my music taste. and was very rude to me about it or even just mentioning the type
of music i would listen to.
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Voltie Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/2 04:08:49 )
@MoodyBats: I live for these colors I'm so happy with this theme fffff
I don't think my avatar will be anything other than black/red always HAHA

Ahh I see, I see. Being online kind of forces you to face yourself? Is it more when you're talking to other people or when you're just like, browsing the web?
The demeanor I have in real life I think is something I choose to hide behind too.

Yeeahh multitasking is hard. I take 5 years to draw something because I... "multitask" haha
You're taking your studies very seriously and that's really impressive!

Is it possible to make your livestream private with the settings?
Ummm... that's... honestly people on the internet can be so inconsiderate. Sorry that you had to deal with them.
Aww don't worry about the music. Everyone has different tastes (besides the livestream is about the art after all). Your ex should really just mind his own shit tbh
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Voltie — Moody Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/2 04:22:06 )
Batsy Says. . .

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@Hachi: Lol. I've never been into black and red avi's tbh.
I usually prefer trying weird color schemes.
Cause a friend a long time ago said i could make the ugliest colors look beautiful.
which is still a compliment i enjoy. :vanora_xd:

Yeah and my brain loves to wonder about how i have not a lot of friends online
so then it just...spirals from there. Tbh not really sure.
i think it just builds from one single thought. it happens anywhere really.

Well i think i am taking them seriously because of a stupid thing though.
I want to draw a few pieces of my favorite band and send it to them.
but i want my skill level to be a lot higher. Like Semi-realism level. And I really want to draw them something
because they kinda mean a lot to me...that and i honestly want to make my own content and be a freelance artist
as a full time job one day.

I can...but i have to pay $15 for the subscription.
It's honestly cheap. But since I am like...broke i can't do that until I get a job.
Yeah. And then other people all they do when they watch is ask for a follow back.
and i don't really like doing the 'i'll follow you if you follow me.'
Like no. sorry but i am not gonna follow someone's art if i honestly don't like it or if it's not my taste.
cause then it just feels like my follow is fake.

Which is why i never even talk to him anymore but then somehow when he sends a message and i reply.
because i am needy to rant to people about all these emotions i have.
Not towards him. I feel nothing for him.
but i have very little people to talk to that i feel i can talk comfortably about
anything. i have a hard time really communicating and stay communicating with them.
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Voltie Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/2 05:23:58 )
@MoodyBats: Honestly I agree, tbh I don't know how you make that poop green color work but you do somehow haha
I feel like I just make avatars similar to how I dress in real life which is lame but can't help it whoops

Yeahh it can be hard to connect to people online - I don't really think I have any online friends haha. I kind of just... feel content talking to someone now and again. Content with acquaintances, maybe?
The internet is vast though! In a lot of ways I think it can help distract from those thoughts too, like when you watch funny videos or something.

Not a stupid reason at all, haha. If it motivates you to work really hard at something then surely it's worthwhile. I'm sure that when they receive something from you, it'll be meaningful and special to them too. Who's your favorite band btw?

You have to pay to get access to that setting?? That kinda sucks. Okay tbh I'm a cheapo and $15 sounds like a lot for a privacy setting
Yeah I see where you're coming from. It's nice to know if a follow is genuine.

Yeahh I have... maybe just one friend that I feel comfortable talking about everything with? I bottle a lot of things up, so usually I end up just ranting to myself (out loud, when I'm alone...) or typing letters that I then delete. Have you tried other outlets like that? I think art is a good personal outlet too
If it's worth anything, you can always rant to me if you feel comfortable
I'm not really great at giving advice so... the most I can do is listen, but if you need someone to lend a shoulder I'll be here.
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Voltie — Moody Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/2 05:38:24 )
Batsy Says. . .

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@Hachi: YES I live up to my reputation.
It's not lame at all. I can't do simple avatars for the life of me.
I have to color coordinate. which then i have to layer my avatar as best as possible.
tbh i love this color green. Like Idk why. It just looks pleasing with these browns. It goes so well with like a forest theme.
which is what i was sorta going for. and it just created the atmosphere more witchy.

Acquaintances are good to have. I really should watch more shows tbh. So recently began rewatching Sabrina the teenage witch.
I love Salem. But normally i watch my favorite K-pop group be ridiculous.Which helps me 0.
But sometimes my depression is really stubborn that no amount of videos will help. and at that point i under no circumstances can not NOT talk
to someone.

Plus, a good motivator is seeing how they went when they first debuted to now which this week they've won 3 awards.
and I am like "YOUR HARDWORK IS PAYING OFF." and it inspires me to do better. And to be better.
My favorite band is a K-pop Group Called Monsta X.
One of the members is in my signature. But they inspire me so much.

Yeah it does suck. But for a full supscription to get everything only $15 is reasonable compared to other supscriptions where you need to pay like $80.
Plus it's not only the privacy link i get. I can add custom emoji's, decorative banners, and 90% profit from my channel. So it's pretty much worth it.
But i didn't/wont get it until I've made my emoji designs. Which obviously will be bats.
Yeah. which is why i am never the person to follow just for a higher number of followers.

I get too lazy to rant my feelings. I use to. But i think i should just write myself letters. cause i don't want unsolicited advice like my ex always gives.
and its always bad advice too.
Yeah it really is. I really have amazing ideas when i am depressed which is kinda weird.
But i tend to not act on them. But i really need to. and i have two sketchbooks.
So even if i don't wanna make a masterpiece i can always just randomly sketch some bat designs.
Thank you i appreciate it.
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Voltie Posted 6 years ago ( 2018/11/2 17:53:01 )
Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it’s a plan!


@MoodyBats: Wishing i could get over this damn cold! Left work early because of it, but I didn't go home - a local restaurant is the only place I can use the internet, so I'm being bad and having a beer there O_o I work at a call center, and my cough plus shortness of breath is making the job a nightmare. Still, beer probly isn't the best idea . . .

We’re all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?
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