So, I don't really have anywhere to talk about this.

I am suffering from some pretty serious depression and anxiety right now. I live with a mother who suffers from the same, and is on a ton of meds because of it. I know the symptoms, both in myself and in others. I know it's not good.

I don't really eat. I barely sleep. I can't seem to get through a full day at work without breaking down crying. I'm drinking too much. Nothing interests me, nothing helps. My best coping mechanisms are now useless, and I just can't help but wonder if it's even worth fighting anymore.

I'm exhausted, both mentally and physically, and more and more I find myself wondering if it wouldn't be easier to just end it all.

Sure, some people would be sad for a while, but then they would get over it, move on with their lives. And I would finally NOT be in pain, NOT be exhausted, NOT have to fight just to make it through another day.

So, I think I might have a solution ... at least for a bt.

My father has invited me to travel the county with him in a brand new RV. He arrives in a month, and we will be driving back to California if his current RV hasn't sold, If it has sold, we will be buying a larger RV here in Maine - where I live. Either way, I will be out of my current situation by the beginning of August, and on my way to a completely different life.

One with travel, away from a job I hate. Away from low income housing, an over medicated mother, etc.

I've begun selling / giving away a lot of my things - the little knick-knacks or clothes I don't normally wear, and packing up a lot of my other stuff. I won't be able to bring a lot on the RV - limited space - so I need to pick and choose carefully.

Still, at least for now, I actually have some hope. Which is something I haven't had in a long time.

@Saeyra: There's more to this than just good times vs bad times. I actually have a very good life - steady job, boyfriend, steady housing, mother who loves me, etc. It's more complicated than that.

But I am definitely looking forward to the trip. I've never been good at settling down and staying in one place, and I've been here for close to 3 years now, just traveling maybe half an hour away from my house. And I'm used to traveling a whole lot more than that. Not to mention living in the country has never been for me - and you don't get much more country than small towns in Maine!