I'm nervous to go back to therapy next week. I haven't seen my therapist in a minute, and I feel like every time I go to her I'm lying.

I know it's a process to get healthy but I've been on a downward slope lately. I still haven't touched the PTSD workbook that she lent me. Getting inside my own mind is tough and whenever anyone asks me very personal questions I draw a blank. I can hardly answer any questions in that book.

She told me to stop taking on other's problems as my own, but when my girlfriend is stressed and unhappy, so am I. I don't know if I can help it. I also don't know if I can look at my therapist in the eyes and say I'm fine.

The antidepressants I have, I can't really tell if they're working. I've never had a problem with energy or anything before so I'm not sure what they're supposed to do? They don't really make me happy, that's something I have to do on my own, but I guess my anxiety has been down but I still get nervous to speak in public.

I've had a couple of ups but I'm down again. I just want to feel like a normal person. At least once.

If anyone reads this let me know how your therapy's going, or not, up to you.

I'm also going to be heading back to therapy, it's a hard yet powerful thing to do

therapy isn't for everyone either, but if it benefits you then that's all that matters

i haven't been to therapy since about the beginning of 2015, I'm also going to be cutting ties with my abusive parents & working thru that while still juggling my personal life, work life, art life & the fact that i'm moving as well

BUT i hope you find what youre looking for dude! it'll take time & you gotta weed thru those therapists to find that right one ya know ? but within time you'll get there man ! i wish you all the luck!!

@Tsundererra: You hit the nail right on the head. I feel the exact same way. It's not that I'm nervous about talking to her either (she has a service dog there for this reason) but I just go completely blank.

Although I have to admit I do feel better than since I first started, so I know it's working. But I'll bring up the antidepressants. They're also supposed to also treat anxiety and though I do feel less anxious in general I still get the spikes of panic I used to until I practice calming down.

My friends have also told me about their side effects and I'm honestly glad I haven't experienced any either!

@mizuie: It sounds like you're heading in the right direction and I'm glad!

Though I don't feel I have options for other therapists. I chose her specifically because I knew she wasn't going to bullshit me or bring religion into it. So far she's doing good on both ends, and though she brings up God it's for a good reason (like saying that she believes God puts people in our lives to teach us things).

I'm also trying to move away from my abusive parents but it's tough because the rent around here is expensiiivveee and I've got two dogs. Wish renters would see how sweet my Staffordshire terrier is.

@Jockteleg: I think it also depends on your location, insurance & other factors sadly - as well as your state - my main therapist that helped me a lot when I lived in South FL was about a 35 min drive from my home. Then when I went to Jacksonville FL ? The nearest one within my insurance & area was an hour / hour & 30 min drive (my parents lived really far away from the city in Jacksonville). The catch as well via 3 times free for about 30 min & then every time after that was a $120 - $150 copay.

Where I live now & the fact that I'm off of my parents insurance? I have A L O T more options then what I had before. Thank you as well, that means a lot ♡

I had a total of 3 therapists before that tried to do religious intent. The last one tho I don't really count? (I walked out the 2nd session when I said up front 'no religious shit' word for word to that lady. The 1st and 2nd time I was also upfront with that word for word but cut them slack here & there. The 1st one tho I only gave 4 times before the 5th time I was like - n o p e.

I think that God puts people in our lives to teach us things is good as she says, for certain people I think - that's one of the main things with religious people, to make those people feel like someoneis always there with them kinda thing. That's also why my grandmother wears a cross so that when she touches it, it calms her because she thinks that there is someone there always with her. For me it's just meh, not for me yo bring it to someone else. It's a mindset kind thing I suppose.

you can do it pal