maybe you have seasonal depression. maybe the holidays give you anxiety. maybe you can't stand spending time with your family. maybe you don't have anyone to spend your holidays with. that's ok! this thread is here so you don't have to go it alone <3

this is a space to vent and get help from others because the holidays can be a particularly stressful time for a lot of people.

NOTE: if you need to vent about something particularly triggering, such as sexual assault or suicidal ideation, please put it behind a spoiler with a warning as a courtesy to others.

TW: N/A ↓

like this!

I'm really glad I'm not the only one.

I'm a dark and brooding metal head, so people assume my hatred of the holidays is some sort of statement about how dark and brooding I am, and I get a lot of flak for it. People want to wish me happy holidays extra hard, sing songs I can't stand extra loud, and then laugh at my lack of spirit. The truth is, every holiday from Thanksgiving to New years has taken a loved one away from me. Wishing me a happy holiday? I appreciate the sentiment, but its really not going to happen. This time of year is cursed. It was the same when I worked in a nursing home... more residents passed away for the holidays. Its the same for a lot of people I know, too.

Once I had the magic taken away, I started to see how any real celebrations had been twisted into making people constantly spend money they didn't have. Home-made gifts just don't land the same in your 30's. If I don't spend more money than I have this time of year, I'm also riddled with guilt. I've always been the type to buy gifts for people when I want to, and this whole need to do it on a specific day makes it feel meaningless.

Not to mention, the person who used to be the center of my holiday enjoyment, my grandmother, did something so vile, evil, and reprehensible, that my family was torn apart. She lives at my mothers house now, so I rarely get to see her, and she committed the heinous act against my aunt, who is also sadly mostly removed from my life.

The only bright side is that my cousin is coming over to my house today. I havent really seen her since my wedding... and once in the hospital when we thought my crap-grandma was going to die (no such luck.... thanks a lot holidays!). I want to take the holidays back... I'm never going to celebrate christmas or thanksgiving or new years, but I can make my own holidays, build my own family. Maybe make something enjoyable for my child that isn't centered around what you can buy people. Wolfenoot sounds perfect to me


@boyrrito: and @misery: you are welcome to be my online family during these frustrating times. We can celebrate each other instead of colonization and imaginary jolly dudes.

Like everyone else has said, I’m glad I’m not the only one.

I’m estranged from not just my parents, but most of my extended family. They tried to cover up something really traumatic that happened to me as a kid, and it wasn’t until I saw a therapist that I realized it wasn’t my fault. When I was a student, I would go to my friends’ houses for Thanksgiving and the Holidays, but now those same friends have started their own families or moved far away, so it’s just me. For Thanksgiving, I made tofurkey and enough sides for myself, and then went Black Friday shopping. Tbh, I prefer this over having to deal with my family any day.

Well, I was "lucky" enough to have stomach pains on Thanksgiving which prevented me from going to that family gathering. But now Christmas is coming up, and I probably won't have any way of escaping that (short of a hospital stay, which I'd rather not since I have work to go to--but probably not on Christmas day, alas) since people will just come here. I should have been moved out years ago, and could have if the person who owns the house I was supposed to be renting hadn't messed it up by hiring cheap. Now it's still not livable and I'm still stuck at Grandma's. And I'm only getting older... But I can't afford rent anywhere else, so what am I supposed to do? Bring on yet another holiday wasted being miserable and stuck in someone else's house, surrounded by people I either barely know or can't stand to be around, all faking nice like everything is normal when it's not and never has been.

Thank you for this thread btw, this is a very good idea.

bumping in case anyone needs to vent this christmas