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Forums Serious Talk Life is rough

Voltie Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/13 16:24:31 )
The past year, it's been really rough on me and I just needed to at least get it off my chest since I don't have anyone to talk to.
A year ago, I didn't want any kids or anything. I just wanted to live my life and to on road trips and do things that I wanted to. But, on Valentine's day last year, I found out that I was pregnant. Which was a huge shock for me.
Once I found that out, I told the only friend that I had that I was pregnant and she blow up and was filled with anger. Which I should have known that before, since she was actually a really toxic person to be around. And so, I decided that since she kept on getting mad, irritated and just not a good person to be around. I decided to not continue being friends with her.
As time went on, people at my work found out that I was pregnant, since word goes around pretty fast. People started telling me that I should go kill myself and that I'm the most horrible person around. Since I was and still is dating a person from work. While both those things were going on, I started to become more closed and trying to avoid interaction from anyone.
As my pregnancy started getting further along, my doctor gave me some restrictions from working and whatnot. I gave (multiple) doctors notes to HR and also my manager. But they still forced me to do those things that I wasn't supposed too. Like lift over 40 lbs. Needed to sit down for at least half my shift ( which turned into the whole shift later on, which was 8 hours), and a few other ones. Which there have been a few other pregnant people that I had worked with and they were able to sit down and do whatever they wanted, even sleep on the job, without any doctors notes and get away with it.
My boyfriend decided that he was going to quit his job and go work somewhere else, which fell through. So turns out that he's jobless. (Which 6 months later, he still is.) But, a month before I was due, I decided that I couldn't do this anymore, dealing with people with people always talking bad about me when I didnt do anything wrong and they didnt even know who I was, just my name or face. And between my bosses treating me very poorly.
While that time, my sister, who is a year younger than me tries to put her hands and hurt me. She has some anger issues with bipolar and a few other things. What caused this was I asked her nicely to just give me some space and leave me alone for awhile. But, she blew up cause she didn't wanna leave. So, I had to go to the hospital for that, just to make sure everything was okay. (Everything turned out good.)
So, here comes that day my baby boy was born. I went to the hospital. Found out, I was pretty far along with labor. Turns out 3 hours later, I have to get an emergency c-section. Since his heart rate was getting pretty low for 5+ minutes. After that happened, I stayed in the hospital for 4 days.
I had a rough time recovering, and Im still trying to recover from it. My boyfriend lost his car and we had no money coming in to take care of my little one. So, 7 weeks after I had my little one, I started a part time job. Even though I didn't want to leave him and at least stayed at home for the first year of his life. But, at this point, Im the only one working, Im the only one thats even trying to make an effort towards giving my son a good life and getting what he needs.
As of right now, I just feel like Im stuck and I have no where to go.

My boyfriend (my sons father) has been verbally abusive torwards me, especially since I've had my son. It was bad when I was pregnant, but once I had my son it multiplied by 10.

Donator — She/her Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/13 19:47:48 )

Wow that’s heavy. I’m so sorry. I’m going to assume you are in the US? You need to apply for WiC and food stamps. I don’t know how to help you with your baby’s dad. Maybe he is just going through a lot of shit right now too? But regardless he shouldn’t speak to you that way. Try to have good communication.


Voltie Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/13 20:40:42 )
@Totalanimefan: Yeah. I'm in the US. I do have WIC and Food Stamps. I just got it right after Jaxton (my little one) was born. To help with things. Cause literally I had no food to eat or anything at all.
I've tried to communicate with him. But every time I try to, he just starts to get angry and points the finger at me at how much its my fault for everything. Cause I was working 3 jobs when I was pregnant. And he always blames me for not working enough while I was pregnant.

Moderator Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/13 23:38:51 )

First off all sorry to hear all of this. And what your boyfriend is doing is 100000000000000% not okay. He totaly seems like he is trying to emotionaly abuse you. You seriously have no one else you can fall back on? Because I would try and get out of the situation with him.

Donator — Divine Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/13 23:44:22 )

The people at wic offices have counselors for when you need help in an abusive situation. They can help. Hope things get better!


Donator — She/her Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/14 01:38:31 )

@Riveraka: Then it’s time to talk to someone else and leave him. He is not good for you or the baby.


Voltie Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/14 01:45:42 )
@vengeance: as of right now. I don't. The only 2 people that would help me are both in a situation. My sister has a basement that I could stay in. But there's mold down there and it leaks. It would cost a few grand, which she can't afford right now. The my parents can't help cause they took in my cousins 4 kids right when I had my little boy. Cause she tested positive for drugs. She had a baby a month before I did. That's how they found out. So, I'm stuck.

@inatlaka: I'll have to check into that.

@Totalanimefan: just gotta find somewhere to go first. Then I'll leave him.

Donator — She/her Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/14 04:35:55 )

@Riveraka: yeah. Do what inatlaka said. They will be able to help you.

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Donator — Divine Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/14 04:39:58 )

Yes go to wic and ask if they have any services for housing because you need a safe place. If they dont they will send you to the right place.


Voltie Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/14 06:50:41 )
@Totalanimefan: I'll have to check in the morning

@inatlaka: I've tried to get info about housing through them about 2 almost 3 months ago. And they haven't given me any info about it. I keep on asking about it. But I'll check on other things if they have something.

Donator — Divine Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/14 06:52:51 )

@riveraka: what about the place where you apply for food stamps? my mom use to always get help at the food stamp office.


Voltie Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/14 06:57:10 )
@inatlaka: when I applied for food stamps, they said that they don't do it at that office or those kind of offices. I've looked for a number for the housing. But, couldn't find anything. Maybe I'm not looking in the right place?

Donator — Divine Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/14 07:00:33 )

@riveraka: ah I see. I was so little I dont really remember exactly.


Voltie Posted 5 months ago ( 2020/01/14 07:13:45 )
@inatlaka: so you've gone through this?

Donator — Divine Posted 4 months ago ( 2020/01/24 09:20:56 )

@riveraka: Yes. My mom and dad separated when I was about 10. I had 2 little sisters. My dad kicked us out of our home. And we moved in with my grandma.


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