Devilkinboi's posts

@Tsundererra:

@Laufeia:
Oh lord, that reminded me of my super religious aunt. So as a kid, everything I liked had something to do with the devil. Batman? His ears are horns. Pikachu? Horns. Harry Potter will lead you into doing bad things. Never cleared up what. One time, she tried to make a trade with me. My Pokémon games in exchange for some character pillows. I refused. I also had to throw out a Mewtwo figure I got because she insisted.

@Tsundererra: Oh, I did give it to her. She was really happy when she got it!

@Tsundererra: I'd have to think of what to get her... xD I recently got her a Bayonetta amiibo she couldn't find anywhere.


@vengeance: Yeah, she's up to date on what's going on and she isn't pleased with their behavior. My dad is supportive and doesn't push me into anything, but my parents are divorced and they don't get along very well.

@Tsundererra: I didn't know if she was going to do anything today, so it was surprising to receive an invite from her. I'm glad I got it though.

@Laufeia: I texted her about what happened and she said to focus on me, to not let their words derail me. So I've calmed down a bit, what with my dog demanding my attention.

@Laufeia: Yeah, to them, my anxiety just isn't serious. I haven't had any panic attacks lately, but that's because I've avoided the things that tend to cause them. I'm trying to focus on my studies since I'm taking concentration classes(which require a lot of my time and effort), but they want me to also do my errands, any of their errands that they can't do, help around the house, etc. :/ I can only do so much. I can't clone myself and send them off to handle things.

@Tsundererra: I've calmed down a bit and got an invite from a friend to celebrate her birthday, so I'm accepting the offer. I need to get away from them just for a bit and be able to clear my head.

@Priestess of Pie: She's tried getting in touch with my mom to discuss my situation, but my mom either doesn't answer, isn't available or just plain doesn't want to talk. The whole meeting with them felt like it went in one ear and out through the other. Psychologist tells me to focus on my successes, but it's getting so hard to do so when all they focus on is on what I haven't done.

I had an appointment with my psychologist yesterday, who is happy with the progress I've made since I started treatment. About a few months ago, she had a meeting with my mother and brother to discuss their behavior regarding pushing me into things. I don't respond well to pressure(if I could change that, I would), especially family pressure. They constantly bring up how I need to get a job, that I'm using my anxiety as an excuse, etc. I have filled out applications left and right, but have yet to receive a call for a job interview. They call me unemployed despite the fact that I have a freelancing job at the company my dad works for(6 years and counting). To them, unless I handle customers directly, it's not a job. Last night, a "family" talk happened. I quote family, because these so called talks are always focused on me, how I have to get a job, that I can't avoid it, anxiety excuse, blah blah blah. I've been doing what I can to find a job, but it's not enough for them. Now, about my brother. In the talk, he went on about how I only play games when I get home from my classes and whatever errands I had to do. It was extremely unfair on his part, because for the past two weeks, he hasn't been going to work at all. Just staying at home, playing video games all day. Do you think my mother brought it up at any point? Nope, because I'm the problematic one. I've had to act as his secretary because his coworkers have been asking about him and he refuses to talk to them at all despite their worries. Yes, I know I should speak up, but every time it happens, I just freeze and the voice in the back of my head comes back with a vengeance. Afterwards, I locked myself up in my room and cried for two hours. I've struggled with suicidal thoughts for a long time, though I've never made an attempt on my life. Something always stops me. What it is, I don't know. I have considered moving out, but without a stable income, it's not easy. None of my other family members or friends have any space for me either, so I'm stuck living with the two of them. I'm not perfect, nor do I pretend to be, but their attitude is just draining me. Anyway, sorry for the long post...

I still love Halloween as much as I used to as a kid, even though I don't always do much for it every year.

So far, in my area, it's raining and also pretty windy. We got flash flood warnings too, but like hell am I going outside! We also had a 6.3 quake last night.

@Amber Lynne: Me too.

@Amber Lynne: A little bit.

@Amber Lynne: Hmm, depends on the area, really. Others are more prone to flooding.