Dreamer676's posts

I'm actually so glad that you both get what I'm saying, I was some what expecting a bit of backlash, cause it looks awful on paper. But yeah I think his current plan is to just kind of distance himself and try not to directly talk to them unless it's work related.
I think some of the problem is that he tends to try and mother people a bit and he's 27 and a lot of these waitresses are 16-18 which makes it seem ten times worse.
I think he's feeling a bit better about it but it's still stuck in his head if that makes sense.

Hello everyone,
This is a little bit weird for me and I feel so conflicted about it all, but anyway here it is.

My husband was called up informally at work because a few waitresses where he works feel uncomfortable with him and the way he addresses them. He often greets people (gay, straight, man, women etc) with a 'hey gorgeous' or 'you alright love' and honestly I have never taken issue with it, knowing that personally it may as well be interchangeable with 'mate' or 'dude' or any other non-discript pronoun. This is the first Time (that I know of) that someone has taken offense. I think the reason I'm feeling so conflicted about it is because I can see how utterly upset this has made him and I'm on his side because I understand he has no ulterior motive, but on the other hand appreciate that no one should be made to feel uncomfortable in where they work etc. Another reason I feel that I am struggling is because none of these girls (from what I understand) have asked him to stop because his language is making them uncomfortable. To be fair I can understand why they wouldn't what with the amount of men that do become aggressive after being shut down like that.

I suppose I just feel so out or control and conflicted about this is because I understand both sides of the story. I know that, after nearly 15 years and marriage with 2 children, that he would never hurt a fly. And having realised that he's upset these people he feels awful. He just feels like a horrible person and doesn't know how to proceed. He just felt that he was being friendly.
But on the other understand how unwanted words of this kind can be received. I really don't know I could talk myself in circles with this.

@roseywitch: ooo never heard of them, I'll have to look them up. ty

@roseywitch: sorry I meant like bottled. I have faber castell and uni-pin mulitliners that work with copics just fine, but I wondered if I could get one that would work with a dip pen.

That is one great thing about starting an avatar site at the beginning - you are always getting updates in shops and things.

@roseywitch: Its an ink I already had. Its Indian ink. I'm sure there is ink you can buy that is okay to use with copics and things but i'm not sure what its called.

@panda: I second more hair actually - maybe some long loose hair

I know the site is very new, but I'm loving all the different avatars so far. The colour variations for these commons are amazing too.

I am really looking forward to seeing whats coming next and cant wait to see some socks added and some new shoes and things,

What are you guys most looking forward to seeing next?

@roseywitch: to be fair getting a dip pen is something that was on one of my recommended art supplies for college, but I just never ended up getting one. Now I kinda feel like I should have done ages ago. Though I used to draw/ink with fountain pen and it is kind of similar, except the one I bought came with a few different nibs to play with. And you're right I do want to experiment with it which is helping me stay motivated to keep drawing. Though from when I have played with it alongside colour I don't think copic's like the ink I'm using very much :vanora_cry:

@roseywitch: kind of both tbh. I was doing the lineart then thought it needed something but crappily/ quick copic was not it tbh. I have now bought a dip pen and suddenly everything seems better lol. And I've skipped worrying about colouring

@roseywitch: kinda ehh, tbh. I'm liking the sketches and the actual inking bit, but it all falls flat when I try and finish it. I bought a dip pen today though in the hopes it might do something to help :vanora_sweat:

@roseywitch: I guess its impossible to know about ALL of them lol. How are you getting on with it so far?

yeah I mean I don't think about it day to day but yes I spent most of my pregnancies worried and that is reasonably normal considering how much can go wrong, and I hear 90% of women do worry about the health of the pregnancy at some point during. However originally I thought oh it will be okay once shes here coz then I can watch her and etc etc, but realistically even after birth there's the worry of things like SIDS and all sorts of other problems. But like I said I am paranoid, I think once a family looses a child it warps your whole experience of these things.

No, she hadn't - what makes me laugh now is that she is a nanny/childminder so she while still doesn't necessarily have the full 24hr child experience, I hope the amount of work/ effort involved was a good lesson for her.

Agreed, it wasn't til I started trying for a baby/ fell pregnant that I realized how difficult even that whole process is, how terrifying it is. Like the constant fear that something would happen or go wrong. I admit though that I am doubly paranoid because my sister already lost one. And just for those reasons I can totally understand not wanting to go through with it. Children and babies are difficult enough, but I think it doesn't occur to people sometimes about the whole emotional side of things as well.