Mizu's posts

Jae Seong, twenty-five year old standing in front of Company A's main office gates, felt sure that he was at the lowest point of his career. Graduating from a no-name university to get an acting degree, and then going 4 years without landing a job offer was bad enough, but of late he hadn't even been considered for auditions.

"How do I put this...someone like you isn't quite fit for the role," said the director he had approached a few months ago, Kim Sang-Hyub. "What's more, we were thinking of calling off the production of Extraordinary You altogether."
"W-what?! Why?"
"We found actors that could be cast for the supporting roles, but our lead needs to be special. Someone with the perfect charm and looks to match, someone who can cast a spell on the viewers right from the start. We even tried looking for rookies or models who could fit the image, but the right person just isn't there..."
"Then...at least let me try for some other role while you search," Jae Seong cut in desperately. "A supporting character, even a minor one is fine-"
"Look, I didn't want to say it so bluntly, but there's no role in this drama that could possibly work for you. I understand that you want a break into the mainstream shows, and that your credentials are decent, but maybe you should change your focus?"
"...Change my focus?"
" It's not just this production; all dramas nowadays need their cast to look good...and well, your looks are slightly different from the conventional. Maybe you could..consider other things in the industry to do instead, like documentaries?"

In the end, the show never went on air, though it didn't make him feel any better. That last rejection was his death knell - Jae Seong had now lost the wager he made 6 years ago. With laboured steps and a heavy heart, he had made his way to Yeonghae University, to see his father as promised.

"I see you've finally come to your senses," remarked the Senior Chancellor for Yeonghae University of Performing Arts, Park Beok Chul.
"I did warn you of what would happen if you didn't enter the show business from my university - and that it would break my heart to see you in this state as a result..."

Contrary to what he was saying, however, Chancellor Park looked quite smug.

"But it's never too late," he went on, extending his hand in a wide arc to indicate his opulent office. "I started investing in production companies quite late, myself. Connections with the right people and some well-cut deals; that's how I've gotten where I am now. I'll overlook that rebellious streak you've kept up, if-"

"I didn't come back so I could use you as a shortcut to stardom," Jae Seong interrupted, unable to listen any longer. "I didn't graduate from here because I knew a degree from a famous university would overshadow my ability. Being chosen for roles in theater, even if they were small ones, was what made me love acting. You pulling strings to have your way is never how I'll look for a role."

A wrinkle appeared on the Chancellor's off-puttingly wide brow.

"You walk in here with no intention of changing your ways, and expect me to support your foolishness? I am your father, not your bed of cash to fall back on as you continue to defy me-"

Jae Seong cut in yet again.

"I'll admit I was dependent on the allowance you gave me for these last four years, but I don't need it anymore. I'll figure out rent and meals for myself. Thank you for 'supporting my foolishness' till now, 'father'."

The older man stared open-mouthed as his son made for the door.

"You intend to live alone, without a steady paying job? Have you lost your mind?"

"I don't have anything to lose at this point," came the reply.

Jae Seong flinched reflexively as he saw his father's face shift. The sauve business-like facade that he had always hated seeing seemed to have cracked.

"You won't take another step outside, if you know what's good for you. That is, unless you don't consider your acting career to be something you have already lost."

Those words really did freeze him in place, as the meaning of the warning sunk in.

"...no...you can't-"

"Don't you dare talk over me again, Park Jae Seong!" The chancellor brought his fist down on the desk with a thud. "I can, and I will make it so no one ever accepts you in a production! Who do you think the directors will favour, the Chancellor of Yeonghae; an honorary member of the National Censor Board and an established sponsor - or a two-bit sham like you?! You can't even act, for God's sake!"

"...what? What does that even mean? Of course I can act-" Jae Seong trailed off as he saw his father's rage slowly morph into a twisted smile.

Without realizing it, he began speaking in an increasing frenzy, words toppling over the next.

"W-what's with that face? You know I got theatre roles before high school as well as I do! And despite my university knowing that admitting the boy who defied the chancellor of Yeonghae would hurt their reputation, they accepted my application! The only reason they would do so is if they saw potential...in..."

His voice died again as Chancellor Park carelessly rummaged into his desk drawers, and flung a sheaf of papers across the table.
Against his better judgement, Jae Seong stole a glance at the topmost document - and his chest gave a sudden lurch as he recognized his acting university's seal with the Principal's signature underneath.

"'Dear Mr. Park, I hope this letter finds you well," his father began reading aloud. "Your son's progress is - quite fine. Just as you requested, we've not been giving his any, shall we say, constructive criticism - not that it would be useful to change his acting in any way, that is...If we may quote your own words; at his level, no suggestions would really improve his acting skills in any way. We mean no disrespect by this of course...we will continue supporting him until he graduates in two months, so long as we continue receiving your gracious patronage.'"

Chancellor Park seemed to gain vigour from his son's loss for words.

"There's more of these letters where they came from, if you're not convinced," he declared airily. "Aah, here's one from when they first agreed to admit you after getting a fat fee! Yeesh, they really are quite terrible at diplomacy. "'Quite fine'? 'No constructive criticism would be helpful'? 'Mean no disrespect'? Your college needs a better correspondent- or perhaps they just need to be honest about how terrible your performance has been. Have they perchance not realized I compensate them precisely _because_ of your ineptitude? Or do you, somehow," added the chancellor with a laugh, "actually think they're praising you?"

Jae Seong was too distraught to answer. Even while the letters were being read out, he had been desperately trying to recall all the times he had been appreciated by the theatre troupes, his seniors, directors- anyone who had seen him for his acting alone.
But to his dismay, there were none. Whenever he had asked for advice in the past, the responses had all been vaguely encouraging, but sparse on suggestions to improve.
Why had he never thought it strange that everyone had only ever given him cliched, halfhearted comments?

There had to be someone, Jae Seong thought desperately. There had to be someone who genuinely saw his potential for growth. It couldn't be possible that almost all of the last 15 years of his life was a lie...!

"Those theatre roles you got when you were how old, seven?" Chancellor Park nonchalantly flipped through a receipt challan book, revealing cheque after cheque addressed to theatre groups and acting companies large and small. "What did you think you were, some kind of child prodigy? Those junior competitions you won, minor appearances you were "chosen" for, even that second rate university that accepted you when you refused to study here - had you actually believed they were willing to take risks for some brat's nonexistent talent? Of course not! The only reason why anyone gave you the time of day was because I told them to do so! Of course, I had to furnish an extra sum to keep them quiet."

"Why...? Why would you do this?!"

"Because you're my son, of course! It would have hurt me too much to tell you that you weren't cut out to be an actor, but rather than realizing it yourself, you kept saying you wanted more roles..."

The chancellor sat back at the desk with an unnecessarily long sigh.

"Look at what you've made me say. Haven't I always told you that making me lose my temper is never good for either of us? If it weren't for your obstinacy, you could have stayed blissfully ignorant, and I would never have dreamt of telling you the truth..."

It was no good. No matter how far back Jae Seong tried to remember, no one had ever told him he was good- or even bad at what he did. Naively, he had always assumed that was how it was in the acting industry. If the director chose you for a role, and gave their approval for each take, it meant you were a good actor, even if their responses seemed lukewarm.

Now Jae Seong finally knew why the performers and workers always kept their distance from him on the sets; and why conversations reached a lull whenever he was within earshot.
He was a failure.
The only reason no one ever said it to his face was the allure of his father's "compensation" for putting up with him .

"There's no way you kept the truth from me just because it would have 'hurt' too much," Jae Seong said bitterly. "You just didn't want me to be an embarrassment to you."

"And so what if I did? I had a reputation to protect - and the reputation of my oblivious son as well if you put it like that!"

...was it true? Was that all he was? A spoilt rich kid so caught up in his dreams that he didn't realize he was talentless? Or had he always known...and chosen not to face it all along? Didn't that mean he was just as selfish as his father for relying on money?

...what was he going to do now? If everything his teachers told him had been insincere, how was he to know if he was any good as an actor? Would such a career ever be possible for him if he so completely lacked acting ability?

"If you're so torn up by knowing no one thinks much of your 'talent', why not see for yourself?" quipped Chancellor Park, breaking Jae Seong from his stupor. "In fact, if you get the role without my help, I'll take back everything I said about barring your future prospects. You can do as you please, and I won't concern myself with your doings in any way. You can have your allowance back as well, if you care to have it."

...why is he suddenly being so generous?

"What's the catch?"

"Oh, Jae Seong. When did I raise you to be so cynical? I feel some guilt in trying to shield you from reality rather than have you realize the truth about your acting - so consider this a way to prove yourself. Get a role in Company A's new production which will start shooting in two months."

The abrupt order made confusion temporarily cloud the young actor's growing despair.

"With Company A? But weren't they the ones who published the article last month about you-"

"Don't remind me!" Chancellor Park's choice rose by an octave. "Those bastards had the gall to 'expose my methods' of promoting graduates - methods which everyone uses in this industry, I'll have you know..."

Of course, his son noted with silent sarcasm. Methods, which constituted only a blend of "compensation" and threats. There might have been others who were corrupt in showbiz, but with evidence as compelling as those Company A had presented to a swarm of paparazzi, even the most dutiful son would admit Park Beok Chul had to be the most corrupt among them - father or not.

"Get a major role, and find out who it was that got access to my accounts before the production ends," the chancellor was saying. "I've spent a lot of time and money on you just to keep your delusions alive. Now make yourself useful for a change. "

"I can't just simply be chosen for a part by Company A. If it were so easy, I would have already-"

The smile in response to his protest made Jae Seong feel his blood turning to ice.

"What would be easy for you, in fact, would be to admit right here that all the acting you've ever done was an illusion, propped up only by your father's wealth. Even easier for me would be to advise all directors in the industry against your selection in any role. It would save you, me and them a lot of unnecessary trouble. Of course, you could be hired by Company A, prove your mettle as well as restore my integrity; but the choice is yours..."

"Producer Jang will see you now," announced an attendant, making Jae Seong snap back in touch with reality; and he was grateful for it. While the thought of what he was about to do frightened him more than anything else had ever done, dwelling on the meeting with his father felt much worse.

He hadn't slept at all since that argument. For a while, he had seriously considered leaving the country and trying to work in the acting industry abroad, where his father had much less influence.
But by the time dawn had broken, Jae Seong could no longer convince himself he had a way out. He was almost completely penniless, and without an earning job he wouldn't even be able to pay his flat's rent, leave alone board an airplane or stay in an unknown country.
And while it was a stretch to say the entirety of Korea's acting industry was under Park Beok Chul's control, would anyone even hire a spoon-fed, talentless actor like him? Why would they do so now, and go against his father, when they had continued to reject him for the last five years?
The only way to prove his father wrong, and get a chance to start over was to get the role, no matter what the cost.

Executive Producer Jang Sun-Kook looked curiously at the tired young man who stood before him with dark circles under his eyes. He motioned for Jae Seong to sit at the other end of his sofa rather than on the armchair across the coffee table - which Jae Seong took as a good sign. But at the same time, it also filled him with even more dread than before.

_Don't get cold feet now, Park Jae Seong!_ he urged himself.


"Were you the one who wanted to talk to me regarding the shooting of _Hunting Season_?" the producer was saying. "I'm afraid you've come to the wrong person. I may be the executive producer, but the one in charge of the casting call is Director Han."

"I can't go to him," Jae Seong murmured out of earshot. "That would be the same as failing right away."

"?"

The man's surprise grew as he watched Jae Seong inch closer, with the look in his eyes subtly changing. The air of tiredness about the young actor was suddenly morphing into something different. With him leaning forward and looking up directly to meet Producer Jang's gaze, the fact that his shirt was loose, three of the top buttons were unfastened, and his jeans being dangerously low-waist seemed more noticeable somehow.

"Tell me more about the lead roles you have in mind," Jae Seong coaxed, in a lower, softer voice. "Despite being a Company A production, I've heard that Hunting Season has yet to finalize the major roles. It surely can't be that not a single actor is ready to play the role of a homosexual character. But if that is the reason why..." Jae Seong leant nearer still, "...I could let you know right now that I'm not averse to it."

Is this boy, thought the producer with some amusement, actually trying to seduce me?

He decided to fake obliviousness. "Actually, the situation is complicated," he said with a sigh. "Moon Kyu - I mean, Director Han - only took charge of the production on my request, but in a way he's much more invested than I am now! Despite the obvious risk of a BL drama competing with other mainstream shows, he insists on only taking actors who have chemistry, and have no reservations about same-sex romance. I keep saying he needs to be more objective about the actors' beliefs off-screen, but he won't listen..."

"I see," mused Jae Seong, his lips puckered in thought. "Well, I think you'll find that I meet the expectations your director has in mind. I'm confident in my ability to establish a chemistry with my colleague...whoever it may be."

At this point, the two men were so close together that it was becoming impossible for Producer Jang to feign ignorance.

"How would you know what's expected of you? Have you even seen the script, Mr. Park? "

Jae Seong had to resist clicking his tongue in annoyance. Was the geezer just dense, or was he being tested?

"I think I've understood the general idea behind the show from what you've told the media. Hunting Season is supposed to be less about the nuance of the story and more about the mushy encounters and tropes widely accepted for heterosexual rom-coms. You wanted a BL drama to have the same without having to justify it with a stellar plot, complex characters or a tragic undertone. I also heard you picked Lee So Yeon as the scriptwriter - and I think she was a very good choice."

The executive producer found himself agreeing with all of the actor's points. He was glad someone understood that a BL drama didn't have to have a deep underlying message, and he had always wanted people to approve of a sappy BL drama just for the sake of its existence.

But that didn't change the fact that this boy was trying to sleep his way to the role. Knowing what his father was capable of, Producer Jang told himself he shouldn't be surprised the son stooped this low as well. But something about Jae Seong's expression when he had first come in seemed to suggest there was much more to his advances than that.

"And? Why are you telling this to me, and not Director Han?"

"That's, well..." Jae Seong's seductive manner slipped up ever so slightly, but he made up for it by tilting his head innocently, and lightly brushing his hair past his eyes. "You were the one with the vision behind Hunting Season, and I've admired the films and dramas you've backed for a long time. I wanted to live up to your expectations..."

"And what expectations did you think I had?"

"I can't say I know...but l'll do anything you ask me to," replied Jae Seong, trying not to sound too desperate.

Their thighs touched, and as Producer Jang watched the young actor trying not to shrink away, he himself had to try not to chuckle at the crumbling facade.

"Bold of you to assume I'm gay," he said aloud with a sneer, finally pulling away. "And even more so to assume that I'd find you attractive in any way whatsoever."

Panic began to overtake Jae Seong's desperation. He hadn't thought about that. If the man was straight, what was he supposed to do? He didn't have any money to give an already affluent producer.

"I - don't have anything to offer but my body," he said at last, while feeling his last vestiges of pride reduce to dirt. "But I'm captivated by you your and the drama you're producing, and-"

"I can see why you didn't even try for the audition - your acting is terrible. Have you ever even slept with another man?"

Silently, Jae Seong shook his head.

Internally, the producer acknowledged he had just told a big lie. Jae Seong may have put on an act, but it had been a good one. Had he not seen the latter walking into his office looking as though he bore a heavy burden, and some kind of insecurity; Producer Jang might have just thought the young man was a slut.

He gave Jae Seong a quick look-over. Not conventionally attractive in the slightest, he opined, but there's an unmistakable something...

Meanwhile, Jae Seong was feeling such strong shame and disgust that he felt physically sick. He'd just tried to sell his body to some older, more famous man that he didn't know - and he couldn't do it convincingly, either. Why did he ever think his level of acting could fool an experienced producer?

"I- I should leave. This was a mistake, I should just-" Jae Seong got up in a rush, his face burning.

But just as he began to turn away, he found himself stopping in his tracks, as a business card was tossed in the air towards him.
He instinctively caught it and read the address embossed in shiny letters below the name.

"That's my house address," Producer Jang said by way of explanation.

"But- you said that you weren't..."

"Did I now? I don't think I did. Would any straight man sink real money into a risky investment just for gay representation in mainsteam media?

"..."

"You may be inexperienced, but I'm not going to take charge." Jang Sun-Keuk waved his hand in dismissal. "I don't know why you want a role so badly, and I don't care to know either. But if tonight, you put on an act good enough for me to forget you thought this was a 'mistake' - I might just take you as one of the drama's male leads."

@Totalanimefan: I've tried out almost a lot of them! Gaia, Solia, kofk... those accounts are pretty much ded tho since it's been so long : (
I'm here thanks to my friend Whimsy! She's the super experienced one who's on all the forum sites with the cutest avatars, I'm just trying to catch up hehe

Hi! I'm Mizu, just a few minutes old here and I'm already broke lol
I love this site's aesthetic, hopefully this will be my go to site for rps!